Letters And Sodas
by nasonexyouswine
Summary: CrissColfer. Darren calls it fate. Chris just calls it a nightmare. What else is it when that one night stand you had a few weeks back turns up at work and is going to playing your boyfriend?
1. In Which Boy Meets Boy

**A/N: Hi there. So this was actually the first CrissColfer I wrote and I've just given it a quick polish and decided to post. I have an idea of how to continue with this story if... well if there's any interest for a continuation I guess :P So this is basically 6,000 words of prolonged smut, plot comes later :)**

**The title is relevent only in that it's a line from the Liz Phair song 'Fuck and Run.'**

**Enjoy :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter One - In Which Boy Meets Boy<strong>

'Hey. Don't I know you from somewhere?' Chris slurred, his current alcohol to blood level finally lending him enough courage to approach the guy he'd been studying for some time. He was irritatingly familiar but with full on recognition just out of reach, Chris had been forced into the slightly stalky behaviour of studying his every move and hoping for a brainwave. Which hadn't come. Maybe downing a further five shots of whatever the brutal, slightly green and almost definitely a mistake drink the bartender recommended had not exactly helped matters.

The man, handsome in his way with short curly hair and warm hazel eyes, turned from where he was slumped on his own bar stool and gave Chris a critical look before smirking slightly. 'Really? That's the best you can come up with? It's the oldest line in the book. I mean at least think up something inventive like... I may not be called Luna but I sure know how to Lovegood' he said complete with a cheesy wink and ridiculous eyebrow wriggle.

Chris snorted. 'I'm torn between being horrified at the pure cheesiness of that chat up line and impressed that it was Harry Potter related.'

The man's eyes lit up at Chris' recognition of the reference and he grinned broadly.

'Besides Mr Ego, I was not hitting on you. I genuinely think I know your face,' Chris paused and then with a mental shrug ploughed on, 'I never forget one as cute as yours.'

'Dude please. Now you're just embarrassing yourself' the guy replied but his eyes were kind, not mocking.

'Says the guy who just used a Harry Potter chat up line. I'm not really sure you're in a position to judge.'

'Hey! It's endearing if anything. Never embarrassing. Besides I have better ones. What about... Can I take you home right now or am I gonna have to spend the night whomping my willow over you?'

Chris actually snorted. 'That's just disgusting.'

The man looked ridiculously pleased with himself at the reaction as if he was a puppy that Chris had just patted on the head. Chris grinned despite himself.

'I'm Chris.'

'Darren.'

Chris frowned again, the name Darren combined with the face nagging at him as if demanding him to make some connection between the two. But general fogginess bought on by booze and tiredness was making any recognition slip through his fingers.

'So Chris' Darren said, breaking into Chris' thoughts. 'Can I get you a drink?'

'On one condition.'

'Which is?'

'No more cheesy chat up lines.'

'Hey you started it!' Darren protested and Chris laughed.

'Do we have ourselves a deal?'

'Seriously? Because I have a brilliant one about riding a broomstick.'

'I think I can guess the gist' Chris said dryly. 'Besides, if you play your 'magic' cards right, the only broomstick you'll be riding tonight is mine.' He smirked, filthy and full of promise. Darren swallowed convulsively, feeling heat spread up his neck. Chris chalked that up as a win especially when Darren spluttered a little before answering.

'Deal. What can I get you?'

* * *

><p>'So what is it that you <em>do<em>?' Chris muttered two drinks later. 'You know? In _life_.'

Darren chuckled. 'If you mean my job... I guess you could say I'm an actor.'

Chris blinked and wondered briefly whether that was the reason he recognised him. 'You and the rest of LA' he said, not unkindly. 'Because I am too. Been in anything I would know?'

'Nah' Darren said immediately. 'I'm just a nobody really. But I went out for an audition for a big show today. I'm not really sure how it went.'

'What for?'

Darren cocked his head and then shook it, smiling. 'Nah I don't wanna jinx it. It's a dream role. I would get to sing, act, maybe even play my guitar... everything I love.'

'So you're a singer huh?' Chris grinned. 'Hot.'

'You know for someone who isn't chatting me up, you're doing a pretty good job' Darren teased gently.

'Just a bit of friendly conversation' Chris said innocently but Darren didn't miss the way his eyes raked his body.

'See anything you like?' he asked drily.

'Plenty, thank you' Chris said, completely unabashed. Darren flushed again and Chris laughed a little. 'You are completely adorable. Don't tell me a guy like you doesn't normally get chatted up in bars?'

'Well... no not usually actually, at least...I mean...' Darren spluttered, trying to find the words that he wasn't usually chatted up by _guys_ but for some reason he didn't want to put Chris off in any way. 'I just got my haircut' Darren blurted eventually. 'Maybe it's that.'

'Maybe' Chris said speculatively. 'Shame about that, I like something to hold onto.'

Cue another blush and more spluttering and really, if Chris was a nicer sort of person he's probably cut the poor guy a break, but this was way too entertaining.

'Yeah well you're very... too' Darren said, flailing both verbally and physically because it seemed his usual relatively put together facade went completely when a cute guy started saying things like that. Which was new. 'You're pretty' he said eventually and then almost groaned in embarrassment. But he held Chris' gaze and tried to play it off like it wasn't some crazy weirdo comment.

Chris smiled a little and raised a quizzical eyebrow. 'Pretty huh? Well thank you Darren. I think you've earned yourself another drink, you sweet talker you.'

Chris turned away to motion to the bartender and Darren breathed a sigh of relief, finding it much easier to think when Chris wasn't actually looking at him. Of course he immediately thought of a thousand more smooth or sexy things to say but the moment had passed and he had to content himself with tipping back the rest of the beer he had been drinking. He really needed to relax.

* * *

><p>Several beers and a long rambling conversation about <em>Star Wars <em>later and Darren is arguably feeling a _bit_ more relaxed. But he also can't stop staring at Chris. The way he smiled more with his eyes than his mouth because he seemed to have a thing about his teeth, only showing them when Darren really made him laugh. And how pale his skin is and how smooth and soft looking it is and _God_ Darren wanted to kiss that neck, and that thought wasn't as worrying as perhaps it should have been. The beer, at least was preventing Darren from questioning his new found 'fluidity' too much.

Maybe because there was no getting away from the fact that Chris was _stunning_ but also hilariously witty and incredibly easy to talk to. He also gets Darren's totally geeky references and dorky jokes. And Darren had always been the first to say that the person was so much more important than the gender.

Lately life had been fairly stressful, what with playing shows that no one really came too, working hard on musicals that hardly anyone saw and the auditions of course. He was tired of being told that he was too much of this, not enough of that, or not quite what they were looking for or just plain not good enough. Which is why he had found himself in this bar with the sole purpose of drowning his sorrows. It turned out drowning one's sorrows was so much more fun with a guy like Chris around.

'Let's dance' he said suddenly, realising that he had given up on listening to Chris a few minutes previously, too caught up in staring at his lips.

Chris started in surprise, pausing in his extolling of Chewbacca's virtues versus Yoda's. To be honest he'd had a hard week, dancing being a major part of the equation and he wasn't really keen to do any more of it. He must have made some sound of dissent because Darren's eyes turned imploring and _damn_ he knew how to work the kicked puppy look.

'Please Chris?' he leaned forward to breathe the words directly into Chris' ear and Chris had to suppress a small shiver.

'Uh...' he said, for the first time momentarily lost for words.

Darren seemed to take that as a yes because next Chris knew, Darren's hand was in his and he was being led over to the dance floor. He was about to protest when Darren turned and practically _beamed_ at him and it was hard to remember his objections when Darren was looking at him like that.

The music was the sort of deep throbbing dance music that was common for this sort of place, as anonymous as the faces that frequented it. There was a reason Chris had picked a complete dive to go and drink in after all. But it was music that you could _feel_, music that your body wanted to respond to.

Darren danced like he talked. Erratic, joyful and all over the place. Chris vaguely wondered if it was the alcohol or if it was just Darren and decided that he didn't mind too much either way. He allowed the music to take him, slipping into it as easy as water. If _Glee _had taught him anything, it was how to move.

He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing himself to be swept up and when he opened them again Darren had calmed his movements slightly and was examining Chris with dark eyes.

'Where did you learn to move your hips like that?' Darren asked, arching an eyebrow and moving closer.

Chris grinned. 'Natural rhythm. Of course I'm told my skills apply extremely well _off_ the dance floor as well.' He raised a significant eyebrow and rolled his hips, not touching Darren but teasingly close. He watched, pleased, as Darren choked on air for a moment.

'Uhm...' Darren was clearly trying to bring the conversation back onto equal footing and, as he thought, he reached out and put his hands on Chris' hips, gentle enough that he could pull away if he wanted. Which was the last thing on his mind. 'Maybe you could teach me sometime' Darren tried a wink. Chris fought down a laugh.

'Maybe' he said, low and seductive, tugging Darren in to speak directly into his ear. 'But I'd have to charge.' He released Darren completely and took a few steps back.

Darren went from gobsmacked to amused in the space of a few seconds. 'Oh God. Dork' he said fondly.

'Hey if Kelis has taught me anything it's that' Chris said sagely.

They danced together then and Chris felt giddy from the alcohol, the steady throb of the music and Darren's sweet smile. They moved together, not quite grinding but with the suggestion that they could be if they wanted to. They brushed together and every point of contact sent sparks shooting across Chris' skin. It was almost like everyone around them disappeared and the only thing he was really aware of was the music, the touch of Darren's body and Darren's blazing honey eyes.

Chris had tried the whole dating thing and when that failed (like Adele and ice cream failed) he had turned his interests to finding something a bit more casual. That said, this was rare for him. He didn't often chat up men in bars. He didn't often do one night stands but was no stranger to them. And Darren was something else entirely.

'I feel really...' Darren shouted suddenly and made a vague arm gesture like he was trying to encompass everything he was feeling in that one movement.

'I know' Chris yelled back.

Darren stilled then and looked at him for a moment like he was engaged in some internal conflict. Chris was about to ask when he was interrupted by Darren's mouth on his.

It should have been at least a little awkward in the way that most first kisses are. They'd both been drinking quite a bit and they didn't really know each other but they just seemed to fit, lips sliding easily together. It was brief, no more than a soft, perfect press of lips but Chris was still left slightly breathless when Darren pulled back.

'Oh shit. Sorry. Was that OK? I mean...' Darren spluttered, releasing Chris and backing off slightly.

'It's fine Darren' Chris said, interrupting the babbling. He smiled gently. 'More than fine.'

'So er... do you wanna come back to my place?' Darren blurted. 'You can see my Hogwarts Express.'

'I thought I said no more cheesy Harry Potter lines?'

Momentary confusion flitted across Darren's features and then he laughed. 'Sadly that wasn't a chat up line. I really do have a model Hogwarts Express that I think you'll find cool. And as a euphemism the Hogwarts Express is frankly just a little disturbing.'

'I don't know, it's long and hard and goes in tunnels... if you know what I'm saying.'

'I do. But you're cute so the offer's still open if you want.' Darren still blushed at the end of the sentence but he managed to hold Chris' gaze.

Chris grinned. 'I'd love to.'

They settled up their tab and grabbed their coats before making their way to the exit. Chris took Darren's hand, entwining their fingers together. Darren was struck by the easiness of the gesture, how they just seemed to fit. _This is something_ he thought. _I don't know what yet. But it's something_.

Chris was momentarily worried about paps as he left the bar with Darren but no one would expect a celebrity to be spotted anywhere near a place like that, the main reason Chris likes it so much, and their way was clear. They hailed a cab and Darren gave the address and they sat together in the back seat, trying not to make it abundantly obvious to the cabbie that they were about five minutes away from fucking each other's brains out. Darren smiled a little nervously, edging his hand over the seat and let out a relieved breath when Chris took it.

Chris glanced at Darren and noticed the affectionate smile lighting his face. He wasn't sure what to make of it. His previous one night stands had never looked at him like that. They had looked at him as a means to an end. They were horny, he was horny. If you really thought about it one night stands basically amounted to a public service. But Darren was not playing by the rules at all. He was being sweet and silly and fond and Chris couldn't have that. So he leaned over to kiss that expression off his face.

It was far less gentle this time, Chris claiming Darren's lips firmly and with a lot more confidence than Darren had exhibited earlier. Darren let go of Chris' hand and fisted it in Chris' shirt instead, pulling him awkwardly closer over the middle seat. He just wanted to feel Chris' body against his and let out a small frustrated sound when he realised that, for now, Chris was as close as he could get unless he was willing to straddle Darren in the back of a cab. Darren almost hoped he was.

He felt Chris smile into the kiss almost as if he could guess what Darren was thinking but he forgot all about it when Chris sucked and nipped at his bottom lip, making him moan softly. Chris' hands found Darren's curls and tugged on them roughly eliciting a gasp from Darren. Their tongues met tentatively for the first time in a brief, heated tangle and Darren dimly registered that under the diet coke, rum and vile green cocktail, Chris tasted really good.

Darren soon got lost in the feel of Chris' tongue against his, the tug of hands in his hair and the smell of him, a combination of senses both heady and arousing and he was just considering whether it might be worth his while to just climb on top of Chris after all when Chris pulled back.

'Darren...' Chris said and Darren really just wanted to lean over and press their lips together again but felt like interrupting him would be poor form.

'Mmm?'

Chris smiled smugly. 'We've arrived.'

'Huh?' Darren said stupidly until he realised that the cab was indeed stationary. He reluctantly tore his gaze from Chris' to look at the cabbie, who was staring back at them with his eyebrows raised and a distinctly leering expression. Darren shuddered.

'Twenty dollars' the driver said and Darren was finally spurred into action, disentangling himself from Chris and stumbling out of the cab. Chris merely watched in amusement while Darren tried to get through his drunken and lustful haze enough to fish out a few bills and thrust them at the driver.

'Thanks' he mumbled, handing the money over.

The driver winked, still grinning in a way that made Darren feel distinctly uncomfortable. 'Have a good evening' he said significantly and laughed before driving off.

Darren was silent as he led the way into his apartment building and called the prehistoric elevator. Chris was unsure how to proceed. Something was clearly bothering Darren but what was the proper protocol for dealing with sensitive issues with someone you essentially just wanted to fuck?

'Um what's up?' he asked eventually, awkwardly and really maybe he should have just shoved Darren into the elevator and kissed him like he wanted to.

'The driver' Darren said vaguely but didn't elaborate. Chris rolled his eyes because seriously if he wanted to listen to someone talking about their feelings he would just get a fucking boyfriend already. This was awkward enough without actually having to work to get Darren to open up. Chris momentarily grinned as a far less PG version of 'opening up' flashed through his mind. But he quickly set his features into an expression of sympathy. He even tried patting Darren on the shoulder.

'Could have been worse' Chris said bracingly, not entirely sure what it is the cabbie is meant to have done. 'He could have been a homophobic dick.'

Darren noted it was said with the sort of forced nonchalance that suggested Chris was used to such things and he frowned at the thought.

'Mmm. It's just...' Truthfully Darren was freaking out a little bit. He had never done this before after all. And knowing that some random stranger was perfectly aware of what was going to happen once he got Chris into his apartment suddenly made Darren a lot more aware of it too. He hadn't really thought about it when Chris was kissing him and tugging on his hair and sucking on his lip just the way he liked it. Kissing a guy and kissing a girl was not so different. Ironic that while thinking with his dick he hadn't really considered what he was going to be doing with it. 'I'm kind of a private person' he settled on eventually.

Chris raised his eyebrows and couldn't help a smile. 'You probably shouldn't have made out with me in the back of a cab then.'

'Maybe not' Darren agreed. 'It's not my fault you're so irresistible.'

Chris smiled again and Darren moved forward to kiss him but the elevator chose that moment to ding to a stop so he settled for taking his hand again instead and practically dragging him out of there in his haste.

Chris just laughed, tightened his grip and stumbled along after him.

'This is me' Darren said slightly breathlessly, shouldering his way into the apartment. Chris went past him, curious to see the place.

It was kinda small but clearly a well loved space. It was the sort of organised mess that Chris was used to because he's exactly the same. He always insists it's the sign of a creative mind and if the instruments everywhere are any indication, Darren certainly has one of those.

The lounge was cosy. One shelf was heaving with Disney DVD's, another with what looked like every Star Trek ever made. Chris found himself staring at a corkboard covered in photos, smiling at the young ones of Darren and a boy that was clearly his brother, and pausing over others, convinced he recognised some of these people too.

Before he could think too much on it though, a pair of arms slipped around his waist and a mouth found that sweet spot just below his ear.

Chris moaned softly before twisting out of Darren's grip and gently shoving him backwards so he was against the wall. Darren licked uncertainly over Chris' bottom lip, realising Chris was essentially the dominant one in this situation and not entirely sure how he felt about it. Except incredibly turned on.

But Chris opened up for him, their tongues moving together relaxed and languid. They kissed slow and deep, hands finding hair and hips as Chris pressed Darren harder into the wall and just kissed him thoroughly but somehow sweetly. It was quite different from the frenzied kissing in the car, the urgent aching need Darren felt earlier now replaced by a slow pleasurable tingling that seemed to spread through his entire body. This was nice. Very nice. Which is why Darren made a sound of distinct displeasure when Chris pulled back slightly.

'So where's this Hogwarts Express of yours?' Chris mumbled against Darren's lips, seemingly as reluctant as Darren to completely disentangle himself.

'Bedroom' Darren whispered at once.

Chris kissed him again once, twice, before finally allowing Darren to unpin himself from the wall and stagger unsteadily towards the bedroom instead.

Chris had a second to examine the place. It was slightly tidier than the lounge anyway, the double bed was made, the bookcase crammed with books but neatly stacked. Chris spotted all the Harry Potters along with some old Tin Tin comics. In one corner there were two guitars propped against the wall. Chris had the distinct impression that Darren was the sort to not only name his guitars but give them personalities. In the opposite corner was a desk with an ancient laptop buried underneath heaps and heaps of sheet music. Chris realised he didn't normally have time to look around him in these situations (too busy being pinned to a bed) but Darren wasn't really playing by any of the usual rules of a one night stand so why start now?

As if in answer to that thought Darren turned, brandishing the model train in his hands as if Chris really wanted to see it. 'Here it is!'

'Oh honey' Chris said, the endearment slipping off his tongue before he could stop it and noticing with distant concern the way Darren's face brightened. He moved in, eyes dark and Darren swallowed visibly. 'Put the train down, Darren' Chris whispered.

The minute Darren had complied Chris' hands were on him again, this time pushing him down into the mattress and, after quickly toeing off his shoes, straddled him comfortably.

'You're kinda pushy, you know that?' Darren said but not as if he minded.

'I know' Chris grinned and leant down to claim Darren's mouth again.

Darren decided that kissing Chris was certainly something that was quickly making a place for itself on his list of Most Awesome Things Ever. Now that they were unlikely to be interrupted he let his hands roam. It _was_ slightly weird finding hard lines and muscle where he would normally expect to find soft curves but not quite as jarring as he expected. He slipped one hand under Chris' shirt and brushed his fingers over the soft skin of Chris' hip. Chris shivered and Darren was rewarded with deep messy kisses that were all teeth and tongue and felt so good that Darren was melting into the mattress, welcoming Chris' solid weight on top of him.

Chris smiled against his mouth and tugged at Darren's shirt, managing to pull it off his shoulders without detaching himself which Darren considered to be a useful life skill worth learning. He had to stop kissing Darren to pull off his own t-shirt and Darren protested the loss, chasing Chris' lips until they were out of his reach.

'God you're hot' Chris mumbled, looking at Darren spread out beneath him, eyes dark, lips swollen and hair messy.

'Kiss me' Darren demanded impatiently and Chris actually laughed, the bastard.

He did lean back down and brush a few feather light kisses to Darren's cheeks, his nose, and mouth. Darren was surprised by the sudden, heady rush produced by the feel of Chris' naked skin directly against his and he hooked his arms around Chris' waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Chris huffed another small laugh before pulling back.

'Jeans' was all he said. Darren merely stared at him as the word fought to get through his lust addled mind. Another quick kiss and then Chris' hands were on his waistband, gently tugging at Darren's jeans. Darren finally understood and arched his hips upwards, allowing Chris to pull off both jeans and boxers in one swift movement. He twitched slightly, the sudden desire to cover himself up nearly overwhelming. But he was distracted by Chris who, pulled off his own jeans without a shred of embarrassment.

Darren made a small noise somewhere between discomfort and arousal. He had felt Chris' cock of course, digging into his hip while they kissed but that was somehow quite different to being presented with hard (and really he should have thought of a better word) evidence.

'Darren?' Chris asked uncertainly, taking in the sudden tension in the body beneath his.

'I've... I've never...' Darren blurted out.

Chris stilled immediately, letting out all his breath in one sudden whoosh of air. 'You mean... you're a _virgin_?' he whispered incredulously after a moment.

'No! I mean... well no not technically. I've just never... with a man.' Darren felt like this confession could have gone a lot better, especially as Chris was definitely drawing back now, clearly unsure. 'Wait! Wait... I want to.'

Chris looked down at Darren's earnest face and wondered how someone could put such blind trust in a complete stranger. He bit his lip as he thought. He was gonna do the usual 'flip Darren over and just fuck him until they both came' deal that was usual for one night stands but that seemed a tad callous under the circumstances. Fucking virgins.

'OK' he said finally, a little uncertainly. 'I got you. Just tell me if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable alright?'

Darren nodded eagerly and Chris' jaw tightened. 'Darren' he said, his eyes blazing.

'I promise' Darren insisted and Chris nodded, slightly assured.

'OK' he said again.

His kiss was slow and sweet this time, Chris' tongue just a soft, lazy brush over Darren's lips. He allowed one hand to trail down Darren's chest, tracing gently over Darren's skin, making the motion as soothing as he could while still making his intention clear. Darren still jumped slightly at the unexpected touch when Chris's hand found Darren's cock for the first time but he soon turned to moaning quietly as Chris stroked him teasingly slow, matching the pace of his kisses.

'Darren?' Chris mumbled.

'Mmm Chris _please_' Darren said, not even entirely sure what he was asking for. Just more. He wanted more.

'Do you have lube? Condoms?'

Darren tensed slightly at the question but Chris just rubbed a soothing circle into the skin at Darren's hip until he relaxed again.

'Drawer' he muttered, gesturing.

Chris had to momentarily cease in his ministrations to grab what he needed and then he hesitated. Normally he liked to top but maybe with this being Darren's first time it would be easier on both of them...

His thoughts were interrupted by Darren who had grown impatient and tugged Chris back down, hands settling comfortably back on his hips.

'Impatient' Chris smiled, brushing his nose against Darren's.

Darren shrugged which was quite impressive seeing as he was flat on his back. 'You're a good kisser' he said shyly. 'You also promised to show me what those hips could do off the dance floor' he added and then flushed adorably.

'I did, didn't I?' Chris said thoughtfully.

Without further warning he ground his hips down, letting out a slight moan at the feeling which was nothing compared to the noise Darren made.

'Is this OK?' he checked breathlessly.

'Ngh' Darren said which Chris took as a yes. He laughed again at the look on Darren's face. Darren tried to glare at him but the effect was somewhat lost when he was arching his back in an attempt to get more friction, throwing his head back and exposing a very beautiful neck.

Chris' lips were on it without any further thought. Kissing, sucking, _biting_.

'Fuck' Darren gasped breathlessly, digging his fingers into Chris' hips. Chris just hummed a response, too busy with the hollow of Darren's throat to form words. He continued grinding his hips downward, shuddering at the feel of Darren's cock against his.

'Chris _please_' Darren moaned again, pushing upwards, hands dragging across Chris' skin. Chris nodded, pressing one more kiss to the delicious skin of Darren's collar bone. If things were different maybe he would drive Darren slowly crazy by kissing and licking every inch of his skin but as it was this was already getting far too intimate for Chris to be strictly comfortable with.

He reached for the lube, coating his fingers before reaching behind him. Darren, realising what Chris was going to do a split second before he did it, grabbed his wrist.

He looked up at Chris with dark eyes, licking his swollen lips. 'Let me' he said breathlessly. Chris raised an eyebrow, it was the first time Darren had really taken any initiative all night since the first kiss but he nodded and handed the lube to Darren.

'Just one first' he whispered, guiding Darren's hand.

Darren watched Chris' face closely as he gently pushed one finger past the tight rings of muscle. Chris' breath hitched and he closed his eyes, throwing his head back. Darren had never seen anything so beautiful as this man with his elegant features, messy hair and eyes screwed up in pleasure. And it was all because of something _he_ was doing. Darren knew he was staring but he couldn't help it, Chris was breathtaking.

'More' Chris said and Darren slid in a second finger next to the first. 'Further... move them a bit, there's this spot that...'

Chris' words dissolved into a moan as Darren crooked his fingers experimentally, apparently finding the spot Chris was talking about. He scissored his fingers and crooked them again causing another cut off sound from Chris.

'Shit that's it' Chris gasped and he was finally losing his composure. Darren didn't need any further prompting to add a third finger and he gasped himself when Chris made a truly obscene noise and actually started fucking himself on Darren's fingers. 'Oh _God _Darren'.

Darren suddenly became aware of how hard he was as he watched Chris breathlessly writhing around on top of him. 'Fuck Chris. _Chris_' he moaned, the sight of him was almost enough and he had to take a few deep breaths. They were silent for a moment, the only sound their pants as Chris ground himself onto Darren's fingers.

Chris scrambled for the condom, tearing it open expertly and wasting no time in rolling it over Darren's cock. 'Fuck me' he growled and Darren's brain short circuited slightly.

'Um yes. Right.'

'_Darren_.'

Darren quickly poured a generous amount of lube into his hand and coated his cock hurriedly.

'Ready?' Chris whispered and Darren nodded breathlessly, still just watching Chris wide eyed. Chris positioned himself, hands pressed to Darren's chest. He reached for Darren's cock, holding it and then slowly sank down onto it, every muscle quivering as he fought to go steady for both their sakes. It took everything Darren had to not thrust up into that tight, welcoming heat.

'God you feel so good' he panted, settling his hands back onto Chris' waist. Chris just sat there for a moment, gasping, getting used to the intrusion. And then he started to move.

Darren's head fell back onto the pillows and he tightened his grip so hard that he was worried about leaving bruises. Every time Chris would pull himself almost completely off before grinding down again hard and Darren found himself jerking up to meet every roll of Chris' hips and using his grip to urge Chris down onto him harder, faster.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck' was all he could say. 'So good Chris.'

Chris was letting out a delicious staccato of gasps and moans, some which sounded like they could be Darren's name. Darren forced himself to open his eyes so he could watch Chris coming to pieces above him.

'What does it feel like?' he gasped suddenly.

'Yeah it feels really good Darren' Chris moaned, a mindless reassurance to the gay virgin. And it did. Darren was filling him so completely, so perfectly, just brushing against his sweet spot each time, enough to be pleasurable but light enough so that Chris knew he could last until Darren came. He looked amazing as well; all spread out under Chris, eyes wide and wondering, hair mussed up and sweat glistening over his neck and chest. Fuck he looked good.

'No I mean what does it _feel _like?' Darren gritted out, slowing his pace slightly just so he could think for one second. But Chris was so perfect, the heat, the slide of their bodies together that he almost forgot the question before he even got the answer.

Chris, realising that Darren was actually trying to ask him a genuine question in the middle of a fuck might have rolled his eyes if he wasn't feeling so blissed out. 'Feels amazing... I feel so full and... yeah it aches a little bit but in a really good way. I can feel every inch of you inside me and it's really fucking hot.' Not exactly poetry but it was the best he could do with a cock in his ass.

Darren swallowed compulsively at Chris' answer and pressed a kiss to Chris' wrist, the only part of him he could easily reach with his mouth. Chris seemed to understand his sudden need because he leaned over to press a messy kiss to Darren's lips. The angle changed and Darren slid in even deeper and Chris fucking _keened_ in pleasure as Darren scored a direct hit on that bundle of nerves. He grabbed Darren's wrists and pressed them into the bed, entirely taking over the pace, fucking himself hard and fast on Darren's cock, still pressing wet, open mouthed kisses to any part of Darren he could reach.

Darren felt the tight coiling heat in his stomach and groaned. He didn't want this to be over already, it felt so good.

'Fuck Chris I'm going to...' Darren warned.

Chris released one of Darren's hands so he could stroke himself rapidly. 'Come with me then Darren' Chris demanded, squeezing tightly around him. Darren came nearly instantly with a yell of Chris' name, his whole body coiling up tight before releasing in one big rush. He came down just in time to see Chris come and he was glad he did. Head flung back, mouth open in silent pleasure and face flushed, Darren couldn't picture anything more perfect at that moment.

Chris collapsed down onto him, trying to twist to the side slightly but still ending up mainly on top of Darren who couldn't stop himself from brushing his fingers lightly through Chris' hair. After a few moments of quiet basking Chris shifted slightly and mumbled something into Darren's chest.

Darren laughed softly. 'What was that?'

'I said I should go' Chris said, sitting up and sliding off of Darren, hissing in mild discomfort. Darren felt himself go cold. He knew what this was of course but he couldn't help hoping...

'You can stay if you want' he said quietly and as steadily as he could.

Chris, who had only got as far as flumping into the mattress next to him, clearly about as close to moving as Darren was which wasn't very, turned to look at him. 'Tempting' he said slowly, biting his lip.

'Let me clean us off' Darren said, willing some energy into his limbs and finally managed to summon the power to get off the bed and walk over to the bathroom.

Chris knew he should go, staying was an extremely bad idea even on the Chris Colfer scale of bad ideas. But he was tired and comfortable and Darren was an extremely good fuck, no doubt about it. Surely staying the night couldn't hurt?

Darren returned with a damp cloth and wiped Chris down with a sweet tenderness that made Chris' chest hurt. He would stay. But he would have to leave before Darren woke up.

'Thanks' he mumbled sleepily with a small smile and dropped off almost immediately. Darren watched him for a moment, wondering what post one night stand protocol was. He was a cuddler by nature but he wasn't entirely sure that Chris would appreciate it. After a few more moments of doubt he simply snuggled down next to Chris, looping one arm loosely over his waist. Not quite cuddling but a small point of contact.

In the morning Darren would wake up to an empty bed and a hastily scribbled note.

_Hey D_

_Had to go to work but thanks for a great night ;)_

_C_

He would turn it over a few times, trying not to admit that we was hoping that a number had been scrawled on the back and then he would sigh and curl back up into the empty space, breathing in Chris' smell that had been left behind on the pillow.

But for now he nuzzled into Chris' shoulder and quickly drifted off into a peaceful sleep.


	2. There's A Big Gay Elephant In The Room

**A/N: So first off thanks for all the alerts and reviews and positivity I received for Chapter 1. I was extremely pleasantly surprised :) **

**So here is the continuation. This is a really big chapter split into two which is probably why it seems like it's ending in a weird place. The next bit will probably be up by the weekend. **

**This one goes out to midlifecrisses and Jen (imaginentertain on lj) for helping me figure out the complexities of this site :P**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two – In Which There's A Big Gay Elephant In The Room<strong>

'Are you alright?' Lea asked. She and Chris were both sat in their chairs, waiting for a scene to be set. They'd had a long day and both were quiet as they just watched the world go by until Lea broke the silence with her question.

Chris had been thinking about Darren again. Which wasn't entirely unusual as he had been thinking about Darren a lot for the last four weeks. There was just something in his smile, in his eyes, in his laugh that made him somehow unforgettable. More than once Chris had been tempted to go back over to Darren's appartment but felt that his window of opportunity without looking like a creepy stalker had well and truly passed. He figured he just had the itch in his veins and needed to get out again. There were a few places that turned a strategically blind eye to his underage drinking and if he managed to pull as well, that was just a bonus.

'Just need a night off' Chris murmured eventually, far too late and Lea looked far from assured.

'Don't we all' she said with an uncertain smile.

'Mmm' Chris hummed his agreement and Lea cast him a quick look of concern. He had been so distracted and quiet lately, so different from the hilarious, snarky Chris the cast knew and loved. She knew it would do no good to ask him what was wrong outright though because Chris didn't really open up to people until he was ready. So instead she changed the subject.

'Got the new guy coming tomorrow' she said brightly.

'What?' Chris was jerked out of his semi reverie at this piece of news.

'Wow you really checked out of this morning's meeting huh?' Lea teased gently.

'Well yeah I guess but... Ryan.'

Lea nodded because yeah. _Ryan_. 'Well you should probably go and extend the hand of welcome and all that seeing as you'll be working with him the most.'

Vague memories of the script came back to Chris at that point and he nodded distractedly as he fought to remember the story line. He knew the new guy was tipped to be Kurt's boyfriend so what Lea was saying made sense. 'That's a good idea. What's his name again?'

'Darren something isn't it? Darren Criss?'

'Oooh! He's the guy who did A Very Potter...' Chris froze suddenly, the end of his sentence lost in a gasp. Darren. A guy called Darren that he thought he had recognized. A guy called Darren who had cut his hair, had lost the dorky glasses but had an almost encyclopaedic knowledge of Harry Potter. Darren fucking Criss.

'Holy shit' Chris yelped so abruptly that Lea flinched.

'What! What is it?'

'Oh...' Chris wasn't about to blurt out that he may have quite possibly, almost definitely, drunkenly fucked his future co-star and he quickly scrabbled for an excuse. 'I er just remembered that I... left my iron on. Gotta go!'

The lie could have been pretty smooth if Chris hadn't almost fallen over himself in his efforts to scramble away before practically sprinting in the direction of his trailer. Where they most definitely didn't have irons. Something about fire hazards.

Chris didn't stop running until he was safely ensconced in his trailer but then he was at a bit of a loss as to what to actually _do_. It's not like he could stop Ryan hiring Darren any more than he could stop him from doing _any_ of the ridiculous things he insisted upon doing. And this was coming from him. Ryan's golden boy.

Besides he couldn't really imagine that conversation going down well.

'_You can't hire Darren Criss.'_

'_Why not?'_

'_Me and him had sex a few weeks ago and I left him in the middle of the night like an asshole and now I'm not entirely sure I can look him in the eye let alone play his onscreen boyfriend.'_

'_...'_

Yeah, not going to happen. He supposed he could take some small comfort in the fact that Darren was currently only contracted for a few episodes. The boyfriend thing may never happen. Ryan changed him mind more regularly than the guy Katy Perry sung about*. He would just have to push through it. Be a professional. Or something.

God help him.

* * *

><p>He saw Darren before Darren saw him. Which wasn't entirely surprising as Darren was waiting outside of Ryan's office as instructed while Chris was hovering in the shadows around the corner and trying to work out a strategy. Which, at this current moment, was mainly just panic.<p>

Eventually he was forced to move because one of the assistants was coming down his corridor and casting him an odd look. She appeared to be about one second from asking him what he was doing, therefore totally blowing his cover so he put his best saunter and smirk on and approached Darren, who had his back to him.

'Hey. Don't I know you from somewhere?'

Darren whirled around at the familiar phrase but didn't look entirely surprised to see him. 'Chris' he said quietly, his expression unreadable.

'You've cut your hair' Chris accused. That was kind of stupid because Darren had _told_ him that. But Chris felt sure that if Darren had the same curly mop that he had sported in AVPM he would have recognised him instantly and then... and then _what_? He would almost definitely have approached Darren anyway. And the night would have been spent fanboying instead of fucking and that would have been a crying shame.

'You failed to mention that you were on hit TV Show _Glee_' Darren responded. And yeah OK maybe they could both be accused of being a bit misleading. Maybe Chris a bit more than Darren but...

'Well not to seem arrogant or anything but why didn't you recognise me? Did you not research the role at _all_ before auditioning?'

Darren flushed at that. 'Yes! Well... I watched a bit of season one. But you've er...' he cleared his throat uncomfortably. 'Changed a lot since then. I didn't watch the rest until I heard I got the role and then I realised who you were.'

'Well...' Chris said. This was actually going surprisingly smoothly, he wasn't feeling nearly as embarrassed as he thought he would. 'This isn't nearly awkward enough. Should I lick your face or something?'

'_What?_' Darren spluttered but luckily his face was saved because awkwardness in human form arrived in the shape of Ryan Murphy.

'Ah I see you two have met!' he said jovially and then he narrowed his eyes as he took in the scene. Chris looked ridiculously pleased with himself, Darren was wearing an expression of almost fond exasperation. And the way they were standing. Darren generally always regarded personal space as an optional extra but Chris was usually fairly reserved with strangers unless he had been drinking and they were certainly standing closer than usual social norm's would dictate. Sometimes it was easy to forget that Ryan was quite an intelligent man. 'Do you two know each other already?'

'Er...' Darren said, glancing at Chris.

'No' Chris said instantly. 'I was merely complimenting Darren on his Potter Musicals. I'm a big fan.'

'Oh' Ryan said and glanced at Darren who was trying to look like this wasn't all news to him. Apparently he succeeded because Ryan merely shrugged and turned to Darren properly; extending a hand which Darren took gratefully, eager to get off the subject of him and Chris for now. 'Well Darren, I'm just here to officially welcome you to _Glee_. Now of course you are aware that Blaine is a gay role and you're happy with that?'

'Yep' Darren practically squeaked, desperately avoiding Chris' eye. It was taking everything Chris had to not outright snort at that one.

'Excellent excellent. Well here's your script. You officially start on Monday. Here's your security tags, your filming schedule, your...'

Darren stopped listening. His eyes slipped to Chris who was standing at Ryan's shoulder and studying Darren with a dark gaze. He didn't exactly seem put out that Darren was here but he didn't look happy about it either. Darren wasn't really sure what to make of Chris' behaviour right now but wisely just took his cues from him until they had a chance to talk about it.

'... then studio time. OK?' Ryan finished and looked at Darren expectantly.

'Oh er...' Darren stuttered.

'I'll take that Ryan' Chris cut in smoothly, taking the envelope of Darren's stuff out of Ryan's hands. 'And I'll show him around. In fact maybe we could go for dinner. I feel like we have a lot to talk about.'

'Good idea' Ryan said, completely missing the unspoken conversation going on between the two boys. Sometimes it really _was_ hard to remember that he was an intelligent person. 'Darren, is that OK?'

It wasn't really a question and Darren figured saying anything but yes at this point would be a tad churlish. Besides, dinner with Chris was pretty much exactly what he wanted despite the fact that he expected it to be awkward bordering on the uncomfortable. 'Yes of course. That's fine. Thanks Chris.'

'No problem.' Once again their gaze's met, eyes wide, brows raised as they tried to talk without words.

'Well I'll leave Darren in your hands then Chris' Ryan said and that was really a visual that Darren did not need at that exact moment. 'See you Monday.'

'Thank you Mr Murphy' Darren said politely and Ryan laughed.

'Please. Call me Ryan.' And with one last paternal smile at Chris he was gone.

'Well...' Darren said, letting out a huge relieved breath. 'Was that awkward enough for ya?'

Chris grinned. 'Oh I think that was definitely a start. Of course it would have helped if you had actually listened to him. What was so distracting?' he asked innocently.

Darren felt like saying _your face_ might be a mistake. 'Oh I'm sorry. This must be all very normal for you. You know, randomly finding out that you fucked someone you now have to work with and all that. But _I'm _still taking a moment to get my head around it!' Darren snapped.

Chris' expression hardly shifted but Darren was sure he saw a tiny flash of hurt cross his face and he immediately softened. 'I'm sorry. Just... first day jitters and all that.' The first day jitters from _hell_.

Chris nodded, expression still unreadable. 'Yes of course. I'm sorry too. Sometimes I just...' Chris made a vague gesture. Unfortunately Darren was not yet well versed enough in Chris Colfer to understand the motion. Ashley would have been able to tell Darren in an instant.

_Sometimes I just say and do stupid things when I'm feeling insecure. _

But as it was the silence was allowed to spiral uncomfortably for a few seconds until Darren laughed slightly. 'This _is _weird isn't it?'

'Oh _God_ yes!' Chris laughed a bit too, mainly out of relief.

'Thank Christ because I seriously did think for a moment there it was just me.'

'It's not just you' Chris said quietly. He cocked his head and then took a step forward, his eyes dark. He wasn't touching Darren at all but Darren could swear that he could feel the heat radiating from his body and his fingers twitched with the desire to run them over Chris' perfect skin again. 'Darren...' Chris whispered.

But whatever Chris was going to say would have to wait because at that moment Lea and Ashley came barrelling around the corner and Chris was suddenly a decent distance away and looking almost bored. Darren blinked, his brain struggling to catch up with what was happening.

'Chris! Chris we... Oh!' Ashley paused as she noticed Darren standing there too. 'Hi. Darren right?' Ashley smiled in greeting.

'Yes that's right' Darren said and held out a hand which Ashley totally disregarded, pulling him into a hug instead.

'Nice to meet you! I'm Ashley.'

'Alright Ash, let him breathe' Chris laughed, tugging her off him.

'Lea' Lea said with a warm smile and a wave. 'Welcome to our little family.'

'Thanks' Darren said and he looked around nervously like he was expecting to be assaulted by other random cast members.

'We actually came to bring Chris to the set for a pickup scene' Lea explained. 'But Ash can show you around can't you Ashley?'

'Someone as cute as this guy? It will be a _pleasure_' she leered in what would probably be quite an alarming fashion if you didn't know that it was all front. 'Ready to go now, hobbit?'

Chris snorted but tried to turn it into a cough when Darren turned to glare at him. 'I think you're going to fit in just fine' Chris assured him and, oddly, his calming smile as he said it _did_ make Darren feel a bit better.

'Come on Chris' Lea tugged on Chris' arm.

'One sec' Chris said. He pulled a pen out of his pocket and grabbed Darren's hand, scrawling his number into his palm. 'Dinner later' he reminded him and handed over the envelope with his script in.

Darren blinked down at the number, scrawled on his hand in smudgy blue biro. The number he had wanted for an entire month, casually scribbled onto his skin.

He looked up, not entirely sure what he was going to say but Chris was already walking off arm in arm with Lea, tossing a casual 'Behave yourself Ashley!' over his shoulder. He was staring, he knew. And it took Ashley awkwardly clearing her throat for him to tear his eyes away.

'She's taken you know' Ashley said.

'Huh?' Darren said stupidly.

'Lea.'

'Oh. Right. Yes I was just um... shall we do this tour then?'

Ashley cocked her head curiously and then smiled as if she knew something Darren didn't. 'He's special isn't he?' she said softly.

'I don't... who?' Darren stuttered.

Ashley just grinned some more and then hooked her arm through Darren's. 'Come on. First stop canteen. I need to get my lunch on.'

* * *

><p>Darren was fast realising that apparently Chris Colfer considered having sex with someone as a mere icebreaker because he acted perfectly normally at dinner. Exactly as if they were just two new co-workers having a meal together. He talked Darren through all the procedures of <em>Glee<em>, the studio time, dance rehearsals, shooting schedules and any time that he wasn't asking Darren a direct question about himself, Darren just stared at his face. He couldn't stop watching his lips, the way his throat moved when he swallowed and the way he reached up to brush an errant strand of hair out of his eyes. Darren wanted nothing more than to do that for him.

It was only after he had missed his mouth with his fork for the fifth time that he finally let his cutlery fall in what he hoped was a decisive sort of way, causing Chris to halt in his explanations about Darren's new cast mates.

'Look Chris. As interested as I am in why you should never let Cory drink and dance...' And he sort of was actually. It was a funny story (at least the way Chris told it) and there was a lot to be said for knowing your colleagues' quirks. But Darren felt like there was something more important to be discussed here. 'Don't you think we should talk about the massive elephant in the room?'

'Your sexuality?' Chris asked before he could stop himself.

Darren rolled his eyes, recognising the reference. 'Cute' he said drily.

'I know I am' Chris grinned.

'Not what I meant' Darren grumbled.

Chris just shrugged and gazed at him expectantly.

Darren felt color rush into his cheeks. '_What_?' he snapped, a little irritated that Chris just _looking_ at him could make him feel so flustered.

'You wanted to talk about it' Chris pointed out. 'So talk.'

'Oh. Right. Yeah so... we had sex.'

Chris couldn't help it. Darren looked so adorably flustered. 'That's very astute of you. Was the clue your cock in my ass or...'

'Chris!' Darren went crimson and he cursed the reaction. Only Chris seemed to make him feel like a freaking teenager again. But he was also a bit annoyed. 'I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you here.'

'Ok I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' Chris mimed zipping his lips closed and put down his knife and fork as a sign he was willing to listen.

'Umm ok...' But Darren had lost his already very tenuous grip on this conversation and he settled for waving his hands in exasperation. 'And now we're working together! Doesn't that bother you?'

'Not really' Chris shrugged. And, when Darren looked surprised, he continued. 'It was just sex Darren. Admittedly _good_ sex' he paused for a moment and the reminiscent smile on his face and the way his eyes flicked to the side suggested he was remembering it and when his gaze returned to Darren's, it was full of heat.

'Stop looking at me like that' Darren blurted.

'Like what?'

'Like you've seen me naked' Darren said.

Chris just smirked, dragging his eyes over Darren's body and it took everything in Darren not to just lean over and kiss him right there.

'My point is, good as it was, it was still just sex. I don't really get why it's a big deal. We can still be friends can't we?'

'Right yes of course. Only... I mean... don't you think there's a reason we met again? Out of all the people in all the bars we ran into each other and got talking. And then we had sex. And then I turn up on _Glee_. Don't you think it could be fate or something?' It was probably just the romantic in Darren but he seriously thought he was onto something here.

But Chris laughed. Not unkindly but like he thought that Darren was joking. Which was somehow worse. 'Fate' Chris scoffed, shaking his head. 'If there is such a thing it's probably having a good laugh at us right now isn't it? Fate. More like a nightmare.'

'I thought you were OK with it' Darren said, stung.

'I am. But it's not exactly an ideal situation is it?'

'Right' Darren muttered. He felt awful. Chris had laughed in his face. He clearly didn't feel the same.

'So I think it would just be in our best interests to just act normally. I mean it's probably best we don't tell the others unless you want penis jokes directed at you for the entirety of your time with us. So we just try and forget it happened and we just move on from it and be professional. You're only contracted for a few weeks so it shouldn't be too difficult. Agreed?'

'Agreed' Darren mumbled miserably. Chris fixed him with a piercing look like he knew exactly what Darren was thinking but then he picked up his cutlery again, a direct sign the conversation was over.

'Right, so Jenna...' And like that Darren's window of opportunity to tell the truth, to tell Chris how he really felt, had shut in his face with a resounding slam.

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><p>To Darren's eternal surprise, Chris' plan (If you could call it a plan. It was more like the equivalent of shutting their eyes, putting their fingers in their ears and hoping it would all go away) actually worked quite well. He figured there were two main reasons for this. The first being that, despite everything, Chris was still the witty, dorky guy that he met in the bar. The one that he had a huge amount in common with. And the fact that Chris didn't seem awkward about it at <em>all<em> and just treated Darren like the friend he was fast becoming, made everything a lot easier.

The second was a much more practical reason. When the Warblers weren't there, Chris was literally the only person he had when they were filming out in Pasadena. So he either let go of his own mixed feelings about the situation and let Chris be his friend or he would literally have no one. It was an obvious choice to him especially when Chris made it all so easy.

His first day on set was Tuesday after spending Monday in the recording studio. It was the hallway scene and Darren had already grabbed Chris' hand and run down the corridor with him more times than he could count but they were still setting up for another angle.

'This is really gay' Chris muttered. 'Even for me. I mean why don't they just go the whole hog and have us skipping and waving rainbow flags?'

Darren snorted. 'I think you might be on to something there. I think that would really add some _integrity_ to the scene don't you?'

Chris laughed. 'I think Kurt is very trusting. Some random stranger is all "oh I know a shortcut" then leads him down a completely deserted corridor. How does he know Blaine isn't a psycho killer?'

'Now that would be something interesting to add to the story arc. I'm already pretty sure that Blaine has a dark and turbulent past.'

Chris arched an eyebrow as if to demand exactly how Darren had got that from three scenes of dialogue when Ian called them over.

'Ok we're going again guys. We're thinking of making this scene in slow motion' he said enthusiastically.

'Oh! That's so...' Chris struggled.

'Beautiful.' Darren said firmly. When in doubt go for beautiful. 'Of course this is a special time for Kurt isn't it? A boy not cringing away from him, voluntarily taking his hand. And the slow motion will just add an elegance and magic to the scene that really taps into Kurt's psyche, what he's feeling at that time. And it sets up the audience's expectations as to what Blaine is to become.'

'Um yes... just what I was going to say. Elegant.' Chris nodded. Ian just looked vaguely stunned.

'Er right... take your places then.'

Darren and Chris turned away to walk back up the corridor and they'd barely gone three steps before Chris started grumbling under his breath.

'Wow I was so wrong when I thought they couldn't make it more gay. Slow mo. What next? A wind machine? Violins? Confetti?'

Darren laughed. 'Stop it! I'm trying to get into character' he said mock pretentiously.

'Oh I'm sorry. And what does that involve when you're merely walking down a corridor.'

'I'm channelling my inner Blaine aren't I?' Darren said. 'Dapper as fuck. It's in the notes.'

Chris smiled, warm and secret and Darren felt his stomach flip over at the sight of it. His hand shot out before he could think about it, curling his fingers around Chris'. It was the wrong hand and they weren't even in place yet but Chris didn't pull away, just shifted his grip so their fingers meshed together and hummed a bit of 'I Want To Hold Your Hand' under his breath.

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><p>Darren thought he was glad that they were doing the Kurt and Blaine coffee scene today. The previous afternoon had been spent performing <em>Teenage Dream<em> over and over again. The guys were a lot of fun and the dance was quite straight forward but even Darren was flagging a little by the time the director got what he wanted. Dancing was not exactly his strength. The only thing he hadn't needed help with was Blaine's expression whilst looking at Kurt.

'You have to stop looking at me like that' Chris had joked between takes.

'Like what?' Darren had walked right into it.

'Like you've seen me naked' Chris threw a smirk over his shoulder as he got back into position.

So the whole day had been exhausting and he had to deal with the usual stomach swooping uncertainty he always felt around Chris. And so he was more than happy to now just be sat across from Chris listening to him grumble about his Kurt outfit, his fingers wrapped around the very real coffee Chris had managed to sneak into the scene for him and getting to know Titus and Telly a little better.

But he had forgotten the content of this scene. And he had forgotten how powerful an actor Chris was. Especially when it was being projected directly at him and not through a TV screen. And his heart just broke hearing Chris, no _Kurt_, talk about the Neanderthal that was making his life a misery. This was a scared boy opening up to a complete stranger about something his friends could never hope to understand. It took all Darren's professionalism to not just reach across and wrap his arms around Chris like he would have done in the reality of this situation. Instead he forced out his lines.

'You can refuse to be the victim.'

It seemed like pretty bad advice to him but of course he had read the script and knew exactly how all this went down.

The scene was wrapped up a lot more quickly than previous ones which Darren put down to Chris' utter flawlessness and his own natural reaction to seeing Chris (_Kurt_ he reminded himself again more firmly) hurting so much.

The minute 'That's a wrap!' was called, Chris was back. He scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly and then smiled.

'Phew. Tough scene. I hate the crying ones. But it's nothing compared to what I'm gonna have to do with Max tomorrow.' Chris rolled his eyes a little and took a look drink of water from a bottle that had been handed him. When he got no response from Darren at all he turned, a little concerned. 'Hey. What's up?' The question came a lot more easily than the first time he had asked it back in the elevator on the night they met. He was a lot more concerned now too and the hand that he laid on Darren's shoulder wasn't awkward or tentative, it was reassuring.

'You,' Darren swallowed and Chris frowned. 'You really killed it. Well done man. Broke my heart, Jesus.'

Chris looked surprised for a moment. At the compliment or something else, Darren didn't know. 'Well I have a lot to draw upon' Chris muttered and for a moment Darren felt like he was seeing something for the first time. Chris' face, open and unguarded. It was gone almost instantly but Darren was certain of what he'd seen and he thought it explained a little about the way Chris acted a lot of the time. He was only 20, this must all be a massive deal for him and he was protecting himself the only way he knew how. By turning anything that got too close to being personal into a joke and by keeping people mainly at arm's length. He knew it would be stupid to pry but Chris didn't give him a chance anyway because the grin was back along with some scathing words.

'You should see what they've done to Kurt's locker. On a scale of one to ten how creepy is it that Kurt already has a picture of Blaine in there?'

Darren took the hint and dropped the subject but didn't fail to notice the hand on his shoulder had moved absently to gently tease out the curls at the nape of his neck. He shivered a little in reaction and Chris' hand dropped immediately much to Darren's disappointment. He tried to focus in on what Chris had said. 'Oh I've seen it. The creepiest thing about it is the fact that it's a school photo. How did he even get that?'

'Kurt has ways and means Darren. Ways and means.'

Chris smiled gratefully as Darren slipped into the banter and Darren just nodded, almost imperceptibly. He hoped that one day Chris would tell him. But not until he was ready.

**tbc**

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><p>* A reference to <em>Hot n Cold <em>and the line - 'You change your mind like a girl changes clothes'


	3. In Which 'You Matter, Chris'

**A/N: Howdy. So when I said the weekend, I actually meant this weekend coming. Which I realised totally wasn't clear and that was my fault. So to make up for it, here it is a few days early. I'm not 100% happy with this chapter so there's an endorsement for you :)**

**Once again, thank you so much for the kind reviews. A shout out to littlekurtsie for using the words **_**'I sorta want to rub this fic all over my body'. **_**That made me laugh a lot so thank you.**

**And to answer questions I do have both an LJ and a tumblr, both nasonexyouswine. I would link but apparently that is not an option :P **

**Anyway enough from me. Onward!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 - In Which 'You Matter, Chris'<strong>

'So...' Ashley said in a tone that implied that she was about to say something she considered a delicate issue, 'you and Darren.'

'What about it?' Chris said curiously, far more concerned with what exactly was making his sandwich taste so weird than Ashley's ramblings. Ah some sort of flavoured mayo. He should have known. 'Want a sandwich?' he asked.

'You're evading' Ashley said sternly, shaking her head at the offer. Chris chucked it in the trash can.

'Evading what? You haven't really asked me anything yet.'

'Well it's just... you two seem very close for two people that have only known each a week and a half.'

Chris snorted. He bit down on the words, _'Well when you've had sex with someone, small social niceties like personal space and small talk sort of take a nose dive really. In fact, sex is really quite an excellent ice breaker. When you've seen someone naked, sweaty and writhing you sort of forget to be awkward about anything else_.' However, as per his and Darren's agreement to keep it under wraps and despite the fact that Ashley was his best friend, he just shrugged. 'We have a lot in common.'

'Hmm well I see you've got a smile back on your face now that you have a gorgeous new co-star' Ashley teased affectionately. She was just pleased to see Chris looking more like his usual, happy self.

'I don't know what you mean' Chris said innocently. He glanced up to look at Darren who was engaged in introductions with the cast he had not yet met. They were back on the McKinley set today and, as much as Chris had enjoyed working out in Pasadena, he was happy to be back.

It was true that the dwelling and 'what if-ing' he had been doing about Darren over the last month had now at least come to a stop. Because now Chris knew that nothing could happen between them, it was a lot easier to just get on with his life than when he was wondering about it all the time. And nothing _could_ happen between them. Chris would never date a colleague, there was far too much potential for screw up and besides he realised he really liked having Darren as a friend which was much better. Relationships were far too complicated in Chris' opinion.

But now he was secure in that knowledge, the desire to get out again was stronger than ever. Sometimes Chris just needed to forget about his screenplay and his novel and Kurt Hummel and just go out, be young, get drunk and make some questionable decisions.

'Chris?' Ashley said. 'Where did you go?' she smiled at his inattention.

'Sorry, I was just thinking.'

'About Darren's ass? Because I don't blame ya.'

'Partly' Chris said breezily. 'Mainly about how we should get it onto a dance floor because Darren has not yet experienced the wonders of a _Glee_ Night Out.'

Ashley grinned. 'If it's anything like _my_ initiation into _Glee_, he won't be able to see straight for days' she said, thinking about just how ridiculously drunk the others had gotten her.

'I hope that _I_ won't be able to see straight for days. Or I find a hot guy to...'

'Chris?' Darren's voice just about stopped Chris making the very crude gesture he was about to do. Ashley choked in her effort to hold back a laugh at the look on his face.

'Darren' Chris said, rubbing the back of his neck. 'What can I do for you?'

Darren looked suspiciously between the two. Ashley's obvious amusement and Chris' discomfort. But he was probably just being paranoid. 'I was just hoping that you'd run this scene with me quickly while we've got some time' Darren said uncertainly. 'But if you're busy...'

'Oh I think Chris wants to _get_ bus...' Ashley said but Chris slapped a hand over her mouth and laughed nervously.

'She's crazy, don't listen. Of course I'll run lines with you.' He glanced at Ashley who was giving him an innocent look over the top of his hand. 'In my trailer. Let's go run lines in my trailer' he said firmly, wondering how quickly he could get Darren away before Ashley said something inappropriate.

'Um... OK' Darren said looking understandably concerned at whatever the hell he had just walked in on.

Chris released Ashley, grabbed his script and took Darren's hand all in one quick motion. 'Let's go' he practically shouted and started pulling Darren away. Darren scrambled to keep pace with him.

'Chris what...?'

'You two have fun 'running lines' now!' Ashley yelled after them and laughed.

Darren waited until they were in Chris' trailer before asking.

'Ok. What the hell?'

'What?' Chris feigned innocence and avoided Darren's gaze by searching for his script.

'Were you... talking about me?'

'Jesus. You think a lot of yourself don't you? The world doesn't revolve around you, you know.' Chris teased and Darren laughed.

'A simple no would have sufficed.'

'Yeah but where's the fun in that? So Darren listen, before we run our lines I have a question for you. Do you want to go out tonight?'

Darren's breath hitched and he was pretty sure he was blushing. Luckily Chris was rifling through his script in an attempt to find the right page and didn't notice. 'Wh-what?'

'Do you wanna go out tonight?' Chris repeated. 'Me and Ashley were thinking it was time for you to have a _Glee _night out.'

Darren let out a small sigh of disappointment. He had been stupid to think it was anything else really. 'So you _were_ talking about me' Darren said to cover his sudden dip in spirits.

'Never said I wasn't' Chris grinned. 'So... you in?'

Darren hesitated. But some major drinking actually sounded like exactly what he needed right now.

'Sure. Why not?'

'Awesome. I warn you now, you are going to get extremely drunk.'

'What? How can you possibly know that?' Darren asked.

Chris smiled a bit smugly and patted him on the head. 'Oh trust me Darren. I know.'

* * *

><p>Darren's head was spinning. He was just on the point of drunk where it was bordering on the unpleasant. When Chris had said that everyone would be doing everything they could to get him wasted he hadn't been lying. Every time his glass or bottle was empty another was forced into his hands with a yell of, 'Drink up Dare!'<p>

He was dancing with Heather, who seemed to find his complete lack of coordination amusing. Darren wanted to blame it on the drink but he knew that it would soon become abundantly obvious that, even when sober, he didn't exactly have mad dance skills. They danced close but respectfully, Darren keeping a gentlemanly bearing even in his drunken state. He couldn't help but remember dancing with Chris like this and the way that every brush of Chris' skin against his had sent a jolt of anticipation through his body. Heather was a beautiful girl and he figured he should be feeling much more than that but he simply wasn't. Because it was Chris' sweet eyes and bright smile that he craved. It was funny how being drunk could so often cause an epiphany to be quickly forgotten when morning and sobriety came.

And then Heather somehow turned into Dianna who laughed at his crazy flailing and grabbed his hands in an attempt to steady him. He laughed as well, not really knowing why and then span her a little wildly. She went with it gracefully enough and before he knew it they were doing some sort of crazy and somewhat inappropriate jive considering it was club music. He wanted to dip her but realised that he was much more likely to drop her than not and it was with that realisation that he released her and took a few unsteady steps back.

'I think I've had too much!' he yelled over the music. An arm settled over his shoulder and he turned jerkily, hoping it was Chris. But it was Mark.

'If you think that then you definitely haven't!' he shouted. 'Go on man, bar now. You need another drink.'

Darren's protests were lost under a roar of approval from the others and he was steered forcefully towards the bar where he would have fallen if not for Cory grabbing him by the arm and halting his forward momentum.

'Haha, steady Darren' Cory said, shoving Darren down onto a bar stall. 'Two beers please!' he added to the bartender.

'You not dancing?' Darren slurred, realising that Cory had sat a majority of it out.

Cory chuckled. 'Nah. Not after last time anyway' he smiled and Darren had a brief flash of memory of Chris telling him that Cory wasn't allowed to drink and dance. Darren figured that Cory's natural lack of coordination (not that he was one to judge) exacerbated by alcohol and combined with his size was, quite clearly, an accident waiting to happen.

'What? I mean, why? I mean, what happened?'

'I accidentally elbowed a girl in the face. Her boyfriend was so pissed off. I think he might have started something if it wasn't for...' Cory gestured down at himself, indicating his size. 'But the girl wasn't bothered. She kept saying "Oh my God I got hit in the face by Finn. I can't believe it! I'm gonna tell everyone!" and I was like "Please don't!" I didn't really want to get a reputation as a woman beater.'

Darren nodded slowly. Seemed fair enough but still... 'You're gonna let that one thing put you off?'

'Of course not. But there have been other... incidents. One time was at the Christmas _Glee_ party and they had these huge Christmas trees everywhere and I was sort of dancing and well...'

Darren winced. He could imagine.

'Oh and another time I attempted to jump on a table. In my defence Kevin did it first and he managed to make it look cool. I, however, caught the edge of the table with my foot, fell down and brought the table crashing over as well. Oh! And...'

'Ok ok I get the point! No dancing for you' Darren laughed. Cory grinned too and turned to scan the dance floor. His expression changed to one of fond disbelief.

'Looks like Chris is gonna get lucky again. I don't know how he does it. I'm gonna have to ask him for some tips.'

Darren turned so fast that he almost fell off the stool and had to throw a hand out to steady himself against the bar. He followed Cory's eye line to see Chris dancing with a good looking guy. The guy was clearly interested in Chris, judging by the way he was leering and the possessive grip he had on Chris' hips.

Darren must have made some small sound because Cory turned to look at him, this time with concern. 'You alright man? You look a little green.'

'I'm fine. I think I just need another drink.'

'That's the spirit!' Cory thumped him on the back. 'Get this down you.' He handed over the beer and Darren downed a quarter of it in a few swallows. But it wasn't enough to rid himself of the image of a stranger's hands on Chris' perfect hips.

* * *

><p>Chris had already forgotten the name of the guy he was dancing with. Aaron or something.<p>

This was probably stupid, _definitely_ immature but sometimes immaturity was a good thing. That was the reason he wanted to come after all. Get drunk and be a little bit juvenile. But even so. This was pretty dumb. He thought he and his brain had reached a tentative understanding about Darren but clearly some part of him (Chris was inclined to think it was his cock) was not happy about seeing Darren dancing with Heather and Dianna like that.

It wasn't even that he was jealous as such. _He_ didn't want to dance with Darren. If he did then he would damn well just go and do it, safe in the knowledge Darren wouldn't reject him. It was that he didn't want Darren to want anybody but _him_. Which was entirely selfish he knew but wasn't that one of the perks of being young? You could get away with being selfish every once in a while. He just knew that it was rare for anyone to want _him_ and he loved the doe eyed, sweet smiles that Darren often fixed him with.

The more rational part of Chris' brain knew he was being ridiculous. Darren could dance with whomever he wanted and fuck whomever he wanted for that matter. It was none of his business. It's not like Chris had any sort of claim on him or anything.

But in some sort of retaliation that didn't really make sense he had grabbed Alan or whatever, a guy that had been checking him out for at least half an hour. Because it felt good to be wanted.

They had one of those ridiculous conversations that people often have in clubs. An attempt to get to know each other in an environment that couldn't be less conducive to talking. So after a good ten minutes of,

'_Huh? What did you say?... Oh I'm an actor... An ACTOR... yeah. What do you do?... A what sorry?... A friar?... Oooh a _fire_man. Makes more sense. Impressive...'_

they had given up on talking and just danced together instead. Chris figured he was in safe hands if Adam really was a fireman. So he let his mind wander and cast occasional (maybe a bit more than occasional) glances towards the bar where Darren was now sat with Cory and inhaling shots.

Chris was so preoccupied that it took a moment to register that Aaron was talking to him.

'Sorry, what?' he yelled, glad that he had a valid reason for needing Aaron to repeat himself.

'Want to get out of here, gorgeous?'

Chris glanced at the bar. Darren was now watching him closely, empty shot glass clutched in his hand, and didn't look away when Chris met his eye. Chris felt momentarily guilty. Yes, it was silly and childish but Darren didn't have any right to look so betrayed. They were nothing to each other. Nothing.

'Why not?' Chris said and he leaned up to press a quick kiss to Alan's lips. Alan responded eagerly enough, wrapping his arms around Chris' waist and pulling him close.

* * *

><p>After downing the beer with impressive speed and glancing up to see that Chris was <em>still<em> dancing with Smarmy McDoucherton (as Darren had dubbed him), he decided it was definitely time for something stronger.

'Shots!' he announced, much to Cory's delight.

'I like the way you think, man' he grinned, and pulled his towards him.

'Halt, Corbett!'

'What? My name's not short for...'

'Hush. A toast!' Darren interrupted.

Cory just grinned affably. 'A toast to what, Dare?'

'To... to Blaine Anderson. Without whom which... er I wouldn't be here. May he run hand in hand with Kurt through the corridors of our minds, in slow motion, forever more.'

Cory blinked. 'To Blaine!'

One shot turned into two which turned into three and then Darren lost count. He soon found himself with an arm around Cory, partly because he was a clingy drunk but mainly for balance. Cory didn't seem to mind.

'Do ya... do ya want to know a secret Cory?' Darren asked, fingers edging towards another shot.

'Only always' Cory humoured him. 'What is it?'

'I think I may be in love' Darren stage whispered.

'Well then I'm sure the lovely lady is very lucky to have you.'

'Alas not, young Corbett,' (Cory just rolled his eyes), 'for love is a cruel mistress, a cruel mistress indeed!'

'Why's that, Darren?' Cory asked distractedly while frantically motioning to the bartender _not_ to give Darren any more to drink.

'Is it not said that it is better to love an oblivious idiot than... not to?'

'I don't think that is said, no' Cory laughed. 'So you're saying she doesn't feel the same.'

Darren looked quite outraged for a moment. 'That is not what I am saying' he said, flailing wildly, almost falling and he probably would have if not for Cory's firm grip.

'OK Darren, I think you've had enough' Cory said gently.

'Well I think _you've_ had enough' Darren countered childishly.

He glanced up at Chris again and this time he met Chris' eye. He didn't look away and watched as Chris' expression turned from something indefinable which Darren may have recognised as guilty if he was sober, to steely. Chris turned away and... _oh_. That was something Darren didn't need to see. Great, now he had the image of Smarmy McDoucherton with his tongue stuck down Chris' throat burned across his retinas. He was sure for one dizzying moment that he was going to throw up and he clutched the bar hard for a moment until the feeling passed.

'Darren?' Cory said.

'You know what? I think you're right' Darren said shakily. 'I've had enough. I'm just gonna go home.'

'Oh. Well I'll come with you then.'

'Don't be silly. You stay and have fun. I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself' Darren assured him.

'Well... if you're sure' Cory said uncertainly.

'I'm sure.'

Cory watched worriedly as Darren toppled from the stool and started to weave his way unsteadily through the crowd. He had drunk a _lot_ for a little dude and he wasn't sure that letting him go off on his own was such a good idea. He was just in half a mind to get one of the more sober people like Harry or Amber to at _least_ see him to a cab when Chris appeared before him.

'Hey Cory,' he said. 'Me and...' Chris gestured to the guy he had been dancing with and seemed to verbally flail for a moment. 'Well we're heading out anyway' he said a bit awkwardly. 'Um... where's Darren?'

'Oh he is _drunk_' Cory said, looking far too pleased with himself. 'So he's going home.'

'By _himself_?' Chris demanded.

'Well er...' Cory started.

'For God's sake Cory!' Chris snapped. It was silly. Darren was an adult, Chris was pretty sure he was capable of finding a cab on his own. But he was worried. He knew just how drunk 'the new guy' always got on these events. They had taken Chord to a Mexican night and by the end of it he had consumed enough tequila to strip off his top, drape a Mexican flag around himself and declare himself King of Mexico. So if Darren was anywhere _near_ that state of drunkenness, Chris really didn't want him to go off on his own.

Without checking to see if Adam was following him, Chris started shouldering his way towards the entrance. Luckily Darren, intoxicated as he was, had only made it as far as just outside the entrance and was leaning on a wall a little unsteadily.

'Darren!' Chris called, about to hurry to his side.

'Chris?' chorused two voices. The first was Darren, turning and peering at him blearily. The second was of course...

'Aiden' Chris tried after a moment's thought, 'listen. The thing is...'

But the other man's eyebrows had drawn together and he fixed Chris with a stony glare. 'My name is Phil' Aiden, or rather _Phil_ said cooly.

Chris sucked in a breath through his teeth. _Wow... awkward_. 'Yeah Phil... that's what I... anyway. Listen, my friend is really drunk so I'm just gonna see that he gets home safely alright? Um... another time maybe?'

Phil raised a completely unimpressed eyebrow. 'I _don't_ think so' he spat and span and stalked off in a storm off that Rachel Berry would be proud of, muttering something that sounded distinctly like _asshole_ under his breath. Chris just shook his head and turned back to Darren who was observing him with an odd look on his face.

'Come on mister, let's get you home' Chris said, adopting a gentler tone than he normally would have and stepping forward to wrap an arm around Darren's waist. Darren looked conflicted, like he was considering pulling out of the grasp but after a moment he relaxed into it.

Chris was glad that the main road was not far from the club entrance because Darren was apparently finding basic things like walking quite a challenge in his current state. It was with relief that Chris managed to flag down a cab and shove Darren into it, head first.

'You can... I'll be OK from here' Darren muttered, face down on the seat. Chris rolled his eyes.

'Don't be ridiculous' he said. 'I'm coming with you.'

Chris got into the car and gave the address, hoping he remembered it correctly from before as Darren was not really in a fit state to tell anyone anything.

They sat in silence for a while and then Darren shuffled over until he was nestled in Chris' side, nuzzling his face into Chris' shoulder and throwing an arm around his waist.

'Should have known you'd be a needy drunk' Chris laughed softly, automatically reaching up to run his fingers through Darren's curls.

There was another brief, comfortable silence and then,

'What are you doing?' Darren mumbled into Chris' neck.

Chris let his hand drop immediately, mortified. 'Sorry... I thought...'

'Not that' Darren interrupted. 'I like that. Feels nice.' Chris allowed his hand to cautiously return to Darren's hair while he waited for Darren to explain himself. 'I mean what are you doing _here_?'

'I'm making sure you get home safely, idiot' Chris said, with no sting in the insult. 'And seeing as you can't even sit up properly that's probably a good thing don't you think?'

'But... that guy.'

'There'll be other guys' Chris shrugged and he thought he felt Darren tense slightly.

'You shouldn't' Darren muttered.

'What? Make sure you don't die? You're right. There are so many more valuable things I could be doing with my time.'

'You shouldn't... I mean you deserve more than throwing yourself away on one night stands. On men that just want you for sex. You're beautiful and hilarious and smart and you deserve to have someone love you.'

Chris' breath hitched for a moment. Darren was only saying all that because he was drunk though, no other reason. But even so, the words left him feeling oddly off balance. So he did what he always did when he was feeling unsure and cracked a joke. 'Well, when I've finally managed to pick someone from that long nonexistent queue of men lining up to be with me, maybe I won't have to anymore.'

'Not nonexistent' Darren said. He might well of said more, Chris didn't know, but with that little nugget of wisdom Darren's head fell onto Chris' shoulder and he fell asleep with a particularly obnoxious snore.

For the rest of the journey Chris was painfully aware of Darren wrapped around him and his familiar, musky scent and had to keep up a steady mantra of _offlimitsofflimitsofflimits _in his head. He didn't know if Darren was suggesting what he _thought _he was suggesting and anyway he was drunk so it would be foolish to take anything he said _too_ seriously.

Love was overrated anyway as far as he was concerned. Not that he loved Darren or anything. And he had no idea how Darren felt. They were probably overdue for another conversation about this. But what could he say?

'_Darren it was a one night stand. Don't make it more that it is. I was horny, you were horny. That's it.'_

It was not only sort of mean but Chris knew very well from firsthand experience of his first relationship that it was impossible to just turn off your feelings once they were already there, no matter what anyone said.

Chris mused along in that vein until the cab finally pulled outside Darren's building, Chris pleased to see that he had indeed remembered the address properly.

'Twenty five dollars' the cabbie said, studying the two men curled around each other in the back seat with undisguised disgust. Chris just rolled his eyes. _Prick_.

'Darren' he murmured softly, shaking him. 'Come on hon...' Chris bit down on the endearment. '...Dare. Time to wake up.' Darren whined incomprehensibly and attempted to snuggle back in but Chris laughed and shoved him away. 'Come on Dare. The quicker you get out of the cab, the quicker you can go to bed.'

Darren blinked blearily, like he hadn't even realised he was _in_ a cab. He yawned and grumbled but did as he was bid, unsteadily clambering out of the car. He waited sleepily on the sidewalk while Chris paid and grinned dopily when Chris came back over to him to put a steadying arm back around his waist.

'Come on then' he said and half supported, half dragged Darren to his front door. 'Keys?' he asked.

'Keys' Darren echoed him. 'They unlock things.' And he giggled.

Chris was torn between being frustrated and finding it totally endearing. 'Yes they do' he said patiently. 'Now where are the keys that unlock _this_ door?'

Darren stared at the door like he had never seen it before. 'Pocket' he decided eventually.

Chris held out a hand, ready to receive the keys but Darren just held on tighter and burrowed his head into Chris' shoulder. 'Pocket' he repeated. 'Back left.'

Chris sighed. _Of course_. He managed to get the keys out with minimum inappropriate touching though and from there it was fairly straight forward getting Darren into his apartment minus trying to stop Darren pressing _all _the buttons in the elevator and a brief scramble with the lock to his front door. It was surprisingly hard to do _anything_ when you had a person clinging to you.

'OK you, bedroom' Chris insisted, steering Darren in the right direction.

'Knew you couldn't wait to get me into bed Colfer.'

'Uh huh' Chris said with a truly impressive eye roll. He pushed Darren down onto the bed and pulled off his shoes for him and, after a few seconds hesitation, his shirt, leaving him with just his undershirt and jeans on. He figured jeans weren't that comfortable to sleep in but there was honestly no way he was going there. Darren made a small noise of distress and Chris immediately found himself by his side with a comforting hand in his hair.

'Hush it's alright. Just go to sleep now, OK?'

'Stay.' The word was quiet, breathed into the pillow but Chris heard it all the same. 'Please.'

Chris dithered for a few seconds and then Darren's hand was in his, pulling him down with surprising strength considering his current state. Chris could have resisted if he wanted but he found himself going willingly and the moment he was laying down Darren burrowed into his side.

'Needy. Fucking. Drunk' Chris muttered, only mildly annoyed and managed to shift himself into a more comfortable position, kicking off his shoes and moving so that Darren's head was tucked into the space between his neck and shoulder.

'Night Chris' Darren sighed.

'Goodnight Darren.'

* * *

><p>It was the second time that Darren woke up expecting Chris to be there only to find a note instead, and this time with a screaming headache to boot. The note was propped up beside a glass of water and some painkillers which Darren immediately grabbed and dry swallowed before picking up the paper.<p>

_D_

_I don't know how much of last night you remember, you were pretty out of it! So in case you're so hungover you can't remember what day it is, it's Saturday and we don't have work. _

_Text you later._

_C_

Darren groaned and rolled onto his stomach, burying his head in the pillow. Brief flashes of last night swam under his closed eyelids. Heather. Dianna. Cory. And Chris. Chris with a stranger's hands on him. And then Chris holding him and feeling safe in his arms even though the room wouldn't stop spinning. Darren groaned again. He was really fucked. And not in a good way.


	4. In Which Chris Has An 'Angry Demeanour'

**A/N: Hello, hello. Yeah this took a little while, sorry about that. Once again thank you so much for your alerts and reviews, I really do appreciate them. This chapter is a tad angsty. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 4 – In Which Chris has an 'angry demeanour'<strong>

'Murphy called a meeting' Amber said, hurrying up to where the two boys were sat, side by side, practically propping each other up and half asleep. Chris groaned.

'Oh God. What kind of ridiculous plot twist has he dreamed up this time? Let me guess, it turns out Brittany and Quinn are long lost sisters.'

'What?' Darren said. 'That makes no sense.'

'Welcome to _Glee_' Chris said and Amber snorted.

'Come on. It can't be as bad as that time he suggested we all stay in character for a week.' Amber pointed out. 'I was ready to stab Lea by the end of it'

Chris got to his feet and turned, absently holding a hand out for Darren who took it and allowed Chris to pull him to his feet. 'Don't remind me. That girl is way too good at channelling Rachel Berry' Chris shuddered.

They set off across the studio lot, Chris only realising that he was still holding Darren's hand when Amber cast a curious glance at their entwined fingers. He released it immediately, trying to excuse the sudden movement by reaching into his bag. After a moment's rummaging he pulled out a bottle of diet coke.

'OK, seriously?' Darren asked.

'What?' Chris took a long drink. 'I'm tired.'

'You have a problem' Darren said sincerely. 'I don't think I've seen a day go by without you drinking some diet coke.'

'And that's a problem, why?' Chris demanded.

'Because it's not even that nice! And it's really bad for you.'

Chris gasped and clutched the bottle to his chest like he was trying to protect it. 'You know what you are? A hater.'

'Yeah well... you know what you are?'

'What?'

'Um... an addict!' Darren said and nodded. 'Uh huh.'

'An addict? Oh come on. It's hardly drugs and cigarettes is it?'

'Caffeine is a gateway drug' Darren said sagely. 'Next thing you know, you're on crack.'

'I think _you're_ on crack' Chris muttered.

'What was that?' Darren demanded, swatting Chris playfully.

'I _said_ I think...'

'Geez! You two bicker like an old married couple' Amber interrupted with a laugh. The boys both jumped a little, having momentarily forgotten she was there. And then Darren laughed too and Chris muttered something resentful sounding under his breath but his smile was warm.

They were among some of the last to arrive on the choir room set, the preferred place for full cast meetings, but Ryan still wasn't there yet.

'I don't even know why I'm here' Darren said tiredly. The minute they were both seated his head found Chris' shoulder again. 'I don't even have any scenes this episode. And I haven't had a new script through yet.' He swallowed nervously and he felt Chris' body tense a little against him. He wondered if they were thinking the same thing. Maybe his time on _Glee_ was up already. Judging by the way Chris spoke, it wasn't uncommon for Ryan to have dramatic and seemingly nonsensical mind changes.

'Don't be ridiculous' Chris said, even though neither of them had actually voiced the thought aloud. 'Everyone loves you. Mind you if he starts this meeting with the words "I've had a bit of an idea", we're all fucked.'

'I'm putting ten dollars on Beth's return' Ashley said, leaning back in her chair to better talk to Chris.

Chris scoffed. 'You're on. I doubt he even remembers who Beth is.'

'Ian and Brad might' Ashley pointed out.

Similar conversations had broken out all across the room with some rather fanciful (in Darren's opinion) storylines being betted on. Dianna reckoned that Kurt and Sam were on after all whereas Lea was championing the return of Jesse. He was half listening to Jenna's rather convoluted theory on a Tina storyline when he was pulled back into the conversation by Ashley.

'What do you think, hobbit?'

'Er...' he said and he felt Chris' laugh rather than heard it. He sat up quickly. 'I... what?'

'Got a theory for a storyline? I can give you excellent odds' Ashley grinned.

'Oh well...'

'Don't get taken in, Dare!' Chris said. 'She'll rob you blind.'

Ashley pouted but before she could argue Ryan and Brad swept into the room with a quick apology and she turned back around to face the front.

'OK thank you all for coming' Ryan addressed the group. 'I've gathered you here because I've had a bit of an idea.'

Chris groaned quite audibly but luckily his voice was lost in the general outbreak of muttering brought about by this statement. Darren thought he heard Cory and Mark make one last bet behind him before Ryan cleared his throat to regain their attention.

'First of all Darren... congratulations. Teenage Dream has just become the most successful _Glee _song ever, making number one on Billboard.'

There was a pause as this piece of news was digested but then Darren had hands on his backs and congratulations thrown at him and claps and whistles and he nodded and smiled a bit nervously, unsure how to react. He almost reached out for Chris but felt Chris wouldn't appreciate the gesture in front of all his friends. He saw Chord grudgingly hand over what looked like twenty dollars to Harry who looked smug.

'So we've reworked the ending of _Furt_ slightly, which is why we've gathered you here. We've done some script revisions and need to do some pickups. Darren we would like to keep you on for longer than we initially thought. We're rewriting your contract and we'll probably want you for at least ten more episodes, probably more.'

Ryan kept talking, mainly about having to get a meeting with his agent and agreeing terms but Darren's head was buzzing. He was on _Glee_. For as long as he stayed in Ryan Murphy's good books, he had a job. He couldn't believe it. He looked over at Chris excitedly but Chris didn't quite meet his eye and _oh yeah_. But surely Chris wasn't mad? Darren knew that they had both only expected to be working together for a little while but... they were friends now. Weren't they?

'... OK, Darren?'

Darren started and figured he really needed to start listening to Ryan when he was discussing important things like his future rather than thinking about Chris. Again.

'Yeah that's... wow. Awesome. Thank you' he stuttered and Ryan seemed pleased enough with the response.

'So Chris, as we discussed previously we're going to have Kurt transferring' Ryan continued.

'Right' Chris acknowledged dully.

Ryan didn't seem to notice Chris' complete lack of enthusiasm or if he did, he didn't care. 'OK so get your new scripts from Brad. Max I just need to have a word with you please. The rest of you I'll see tomorrow for a choir room pick up OK?'

The others murmured their ascent and went to grab their scripts, grumbling a little bit at the script change. They already worked long enough hours without Murphy's idiotic mind changes. Ashley looked at Chris sadly.

'I guess that means we won't be seeing you as much, boo?'

'I guess' Chris said tightly. Ashley gave his hand a quick squeeze and then went to get her script, leaving Chris with Darren.

'Chris...' Darren said quietly and made to place a hand on his shoulder. But Chris flinched away. 'Chris please...' he pitched his voice low so it wouldn't be heard over the chatter and exchanging of money that was going on around them.

'Told ya it wouldn't have anything to do with Beth!' Mark crowed, holding out his hand and a disgruntled Ashley handed over ten dollars. Darren would have laughed if he wasn't so worried, because Chris was doing everything he could do avoid Darren's gaze.

'My trailer' Chris murmured eventually.

'What?'

'Meet me in my trailer in about ten minutes, alright?'

'But...' Darren said.

'Ten minutes' Chris insisted. And finally _finally_ glanced up to look at Darren. His face was completely expressionless and Darren just about knew Chris well enough to know that this was a danger sign.

'Alright' he said despondently. He had gone from being absolutely ecstatic about his sudden extended role to miserable about Chris' reaction so fast, that he had given himself some sort of emotional whiplash.

'Darren...' Chris said and Darren's head jerked up. Chris smiled, looking a little more relaxed. 'Congratulations on the number one.'

* * *

><p>'You're mad at me' Darren said quietly staring at Chris' back. Chris was turned away from him, posture tense and arms folded.<p>

'No I'm not' Chris responded.

'_What_?' Darren said incredulously. 'Yes you _are_.'

Chris sighed. 'And why is that?'

'Well this... thing that happened between us. It was OK when we only had to deal with it for a few weeks right? And now we're going to be together all the time. Because you're becoming a Warbler and... God this is a mess. I'll just... I'll tell Ryan I don't want the job. I mean...'

'Are you crazy?' Now Chris turned to look at him and Darren actually took a faltering step back at the look on his face. 'This is your chance, Darren. Are you an idiot? Of course you're taking the job.'

'But... then why are you so angry?'

'I'm... I'm not' Chris said hesitantly.

'And you call yourself an actor' Darren scoffed. When Chris just wrapped his arms more securely around himself, Darren softened slightly. 'Come on Chris, it's just me. What is it?'

'I'm not mad at _you_' Chris repeated. 'I'm mad at Ryan.'

Darren blinked. 'Same difference, surely? You're still mad that I'm around but you realise it's not entirely my fault so are choosing to blame Ryan instead?'

'Darren this isn't _about_ you' Chris yelled suddenly and Darren flinched. 'Sorry' Chris said, a lot more softly and he edged a little closer. 'What I mean is, I'm not mad that you're sticking around. I'm proud of you and... I feel like we're friends now, aren't we?' he sounded a little uncertain.

Darren nodded way too enthusiastically. 'Yeah. Yeah we are. But then why...?'

'I'm just gonna miss everyone. Those guys... they've been my friends, practically my _family_ for a long time now. And being out in Pasadena with you and the Warblers will mean that I hardly see them.'

'Oh.' Darren felt a little foolish and self centred but also... hurt. Because he wasn't enough. 'Well then.'

Chris seemed to catch some of what he was thinking from his expression because next thing Darren knew, he had his arms full of Chris Colfer. This was surprising in itself because Chris very rarely initiated any affection between them but they had certainly never hugged the way they were now without copious amounts of alcohol in their bloodstreams.

'Sorry sorry' Chris mumbled into Darren's shoulder. 'You're great. So are the Warbler guys. But... you understand, don't you?'

'Of course I do' Darren muttered, rubbing random patterns into Chris' back, feeling a sudden surge of affection for him. 'Are we... actually having a heart to heart?' he asked.

Chris laughed and pushed him away and just like that Chris was back. 'And you had to ruin it, didn't you, Dare?'

Darren grinned. 'I just thought you had got sick of me, and couldn't bear the thought of having me around any longer.'

'Well that's definitely true. But I am a professional so I will do what has been asked of me.' Chris heaved a weary sigh like it was all some great burden and then laughed at Darren's pout.

'Yeah well... you're no great shakes either, Colfer' Darren retorted childishly.

'Great shakes? What era are you from?'

'The same one as Blaine by the sounds of it.'

'You know I've just been flicking through this script and a bird, Darren. Really?'

'He's a Warbler. He's a symbol for all your hopes and dreams. Probably' Darren said defensively. God knows why, _he_ didn't write it.

'Do you wanna go for dinner?' Chris smiled, totally changing the subject.

Darren grabbed his coat. 'Oh God, yes.'

* * *

><p>'So you're playing school boy, Blaine Anderson?' the interviewer asked and Darren swallowed nervously. This was his first major interview and his publicist had sat with him for over two hours schooling him on things he was and wasn't allowed to say. This seemed a fairly safe question though.<p>

'Yes' he said eventually.

'And you're gay, correct?'

'Oh uhm. Well my character is gay' Darren said.

'But you're not?' the interviewer pressed and wow this just awkward extremely fast. Before Chris, Darren would have just said 'nope, I'm straight' and moved on but now he wasn't so sure.

'Oh well I don't really think it's really relevant to the role whether _I'm _gay or not, is it?'

The interviewer's eyes bore into Darren's and he could guess exactly what she was thinking. _Closeted_.

'I mean, OK...' Darren hesitated. Well Chris had made it very clear that nothing was going to happen between them anyway so what was the point? 'Yeah I am straight. But I am incredibly comfortable with my sexuality. And I think it's important, you know, for the straight man to be seen so comfortable in a gay role. Because there's so much stigma attached to it. In an ideal world it wouldn't matter but I'm not delusional. I know this isn't the ideal world. So yes, I am straight.'

'And can you give us any hints as to what is coming up for your character?'

'I'm afraid I don't really know. Your guess is as good as mine at this point' Darren smiled warmly.

'But it's true that your character and Chris Colfer's character are going to be together?'

'Oh well certainly not anytime soon' Darren said. He was allowed to say that, he knew. 'And I have no idea in the future. I think if it happens it has to be an organic process where they grow together as people. But I think right now Kurt is at that stage where he needs some support and someone who understands him and not a boyfriend. And I think Blaine, as the older one, can fulfil that mentor role for sure.'

'And I understand that your song, _Teenage Dream_ made it to number one on itunes. That must have been a really big deal for you?'

'Oh gosh, of course yes. I still think they're gonna realise they've made this massive mistake you know? Realise that they've just hired a total bum. But I'm totally living the dream while I have the chance. I just... the response has really been phenomenal. I'm so proud to be part of this entire process.' Cheesy smile to camera and interview over.

* * *

><p>'Are you mad at me?' Darren asked.<p>

'Oh my God, Darren. Why do you always think I'm angry at you?' Chris said, somewhat angrily in Darren's opinion.

'You have a very angry demeanour about you.'

'No, I don't. I'm charming' Chris said grumpily. 'You're just paranoid.'

'Here' Darren said suddenly holding out his hand to take Chris' sandwich. 'You won't like that. It's got that weird mayo you hate in it. I'll switch.'

'How the fuck do you know that?' Chris gaped at him, handing over the offending sandwich.

'See! Angry demeanour' Darren insisted, waving his water bottle.

'No, I'm not angry. I'm stunned. How do you know I don't like that mayonnaise?'

Darren frowned. 'I've been eating lunch with you for weeks now. I picked up a few things.'

'Right' Chris said weakly and then cleared his throat. 'Why did you think I was mad at you?'

'Oh yeah. My interview?' Darren said. Chris still looked confused. 'Where I said I was straight.'

'So?' Chris said, taking a bite of the sandwich too quickly for Darren to really take in his expression.

'It doesn't bother you?'

'Should it? It's not like you're my boyfriend, Darren' Chris said casually.

Darren was silent for a long moment. 'No. I guess you're right. I am just paranoid. Our relationship is a little weird though. With sex comes complications.'

Chris scoffed. 'Oh come on, you must have slept with your friends at some point in the past' he said, arching an eyebrow.

'Well yeah but... the sex doesn't usually come _before_ the friendship. It's usually the other way around. Or it's an ex that I remain friends with after we've done the whole dating thing. We never dated, we just went straight from sex to friends which is... a little weird for me.'

'Yeah well. I don't play by the rules' Chris teased. 'I'm not your typical guy.'

Darren smiled. 'You can say that again.'

'I'm not your typical guy.'

Darren threw his sandwich at him. After a moment's pause he looked at Chris consideringly for a moment. Now seemed a good moment to bring up something he had been thinking about. 'Do you know what we should do?'

'Go and get some Diet Coke? Because I'm having withdrawal symptoms. Look, I'm practically shaking.'

Darren rolled his eyes but chose not to comment. 'No. We should have sex again.'

'Hahaha that's very funny Darren. You're not laughing. Why aren't you laughing?'

'Because I'm serious!' Darren said.

'OK' Chris said and Darren brightened slightly before he realised that that wasn't an agreement OK, that was a bad OK. A very bad OK.

'OK, you're a dick' Chris said.

'What? I...'

'You literally just said that with sex comes complications...'

'Yeah but...'

'And that you were straight.'

'I know I said that but...'

'You know what, Darren?' Chris snapped.

'What?' Darren said apprehensively.

'_Now_ I'm mad at you.'

'But you didn't let me finish' Darren said but it was too late. Chris had already grabbed his bag and stalked away, clearly channelling his inner Kurt. Darren watched him go. Clearly the moment hadn't been quite as good as he thought. 'Well shit.'


	5. In Which The Cake Is A Euphemism

**A/N: So hey this got done a lot quicker than expected. This is just sort of a silly chapter really. Next one may not be for a little while, I'll have to see how my work schedule pans out. As always, much thanks for the reviews. I honestly never expect to get any :)**

**Also massive thanks to my beta who didn't want to be credited but she deserves it for making sense out of my drivel. So, thank you Sal.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five - In Which The Cake Is A Euphemism <strong>

Darren wasn't going to lie, he had a tendency to blurt. Which is why his proposal had perhaps not gone down entirely as he wanted it too. Now he thought about it, he's not entirely sure whether there was ever any chance that it was going to end up well at all. But he was a straight forward sort of person and you never got anything unless you asked.

So when he had oh so casually mentioned to Chris that he thought they should have sex, it had been a culmination of things he had been thinking about for a long time condensed into one stupid, _thoughtless_ sentence.

It all came back to that first night and Chris' face. Chris' face when he had slid himself down onto Darren's cock. A look of pleasure so intense that it had momentarily taken Darren's breath away. Darren could still see it, every time he closed his eyes and allowed his mind to wander. Chris' face all flushed, thrown back, his chest heaving. He wanted to know what that was like. Which presented a problem. Because Darren was a curious sort and once his brain latched onto something he found it hard to let go.

He had tried. Oh boy had he tried. In the month following that night and finding out he was going to be on _Glee_ he had thrown himself into his work and he had tried to forget about it. This turned out to be impossible when he made the stomach lurching realisation that 'Hey wait a minute. That guy I fucked. He's on _Glee _too.'

This realisation had bred another drunken night out and a rather awkward conversation with Chuck as Darren tried to describe his problem without mentioning Chris, _Glee_ or sex in some sort of bizarre, self inflicted version of Taboo. Darren had hung up feeling none the wiser and just left Chuck extremely confused.

When he realised this wasn't something he could just forget about, he had tried himself. But angles were wrong or he got uncomfortable and he just didn't really know what he was doing. Besides, his own fingers were not the same thing. He couldn't find that spot that had turned Chris into a trembling wreck and sex was just never the same when flying solo, no matter what you did.

The week that followed proved to be one of the more shameful of Darren's life. If Joe knew about it he probably would have described it as 'trolling for ass' which Darren didn't want to think about too closely and not just because the thought of Joe knowing made him want to curl up into a ball of embarrassment. It was an unmitigated failure though. His main problem was his inherent dislike of the concept of one night stands. He genuinely felt that sex should be something intimate to be shared between two people that loved each other. Chris had blindsided him completely. He had been drunk, yes. But he had also felt that connection with him, a spark that he so rarely felt, especially with strangers.

He didn't exactly have trouble picking up men. If you knew where to go, willing partners were in abundance. But he didn't get very far with any of them. They didn't feel right, he just wasn't really attracted to them and they weren't sweet and gentle and patient like Chris. They just wanted to get off. And Darren was repulsed by the whole thing.

When he started working on _Glee_ he had managed to put it partly from his mind, mainly because seeing Chris every day meant that that face was replaced with other expressions. His scrunchy smile, his look of perfect disdain when Darren did something particularly dumb, the face he pulled when they put that weird mayonnaise in the sandwiches and Darren's favorite: his laugh.

But the more time he spent with Chris, the more he realised his new found attraction to cock was not to men, as he had first assumed, but to Chris only and he wasn't sure how to feel about that. He figured that he just had to find a nice girl and put it from his mind because Chris didn't want a relationship with him; that was clear. But as _Glee_ so succinctly put it, sex wasn't dating.

And then to complicate his life further, Darren found out about Charlie. A name that was said in hushed voice's around set so that Chris wouldn't hear it. Charlie who was handsome and tall and charismatic. Chris' first boyfriend. Chris' first a lot of things by the sound of it. And Darren now had to contend with Chris' 'no dating colleagues' policy, a shitty ex boyfriend and his general defensiveness.

Darren thought he could handle it until that night out. But all he could think about when Chris had curled up beside him was Chris' lips and his hands and... other things. And it wasn't until he found himself spilling over his own fist and pretending the fingers up his ass were Chris' that he knew he had to do something.

It was eventually Lauren he decided to spill everything too. They were close and he definitely couldn't quite bring himself to talk to one of his male friends about it.

'Do you know what you should do?' she had asked after listening to him pour out every mortifying detail and apparently not giving a fuck that he was having sex with guys now.

'What?'

'Have sex with him.'

'Lauren weren't you listening? This is exactly how this whole problem started' Darren snapped.

'No... what I mean is. You should get him to fuck you. Because you keep thinking about it don't you? I think you like the idea of it more than the thing itself, right? So if you just do it, you'll stop thinking about it. You won't have to keep wondering what it's like. You'll _know_ what it's like. And it probably won't be as good as you're imagining. Trust me.'

'Sounds like there's a story in there somewhere' Darren said curiously.

'Quit deflecting. We're talking about _your_ sex life not mine.'

'Well I'm sorry Lauren, but I really think there's about zero chance that he'll go for it. He's an enigma, that Chris Colfer, but one thing I know for sure. He doesn't get involved with his co-workers.'

'You never know until you try, Dare. And I've never known you to give up on anything.'

'It worries me that we're talking about my sex life right now.'

'...Me too.'

Darren had finished that conversation feeling no closer to a solution but at least a lot better that he had finally told someone about what had been bothering him for over two months now. But the problem with his brain was, once something was planted in there, it was hard to get it out. So when Chris was sat there looking all perfect with his scrunchy smile because Darren had done something as simple as remember what sandwich he liked, and pretty much acknowledged that their relationship was quite a lot different from the norm, the words had just tripped off his tongue before he could get a proper hold on them. He was a blurter. It was what he did.

* * *

><p>'Chris' Ashley said sternly, looking down at him. He had his head in her lap, had his hands twisted together and had a frown on his face. 'I'm afraid that if you want any sort of constructive advice from me, you're going to have to give me more than "Why are all guys such dicks?" Because as much as I agree with you and could probably rant at great length in that area, that doesn't exactly help you does it?'<p>

Chris made a noise halfway between a grumble and a snort.

'Chris' Ashley wheedled and ran a hand through his hair. 'Come on, boo. What's bothering you?'

'Fine' Chris leaned into the touch slightly while still trying to appear reluctant and stoic. In reality, he wanted to blurt out the whole fucked up story but thought it would be best to avoid mentioning Darren by name at this point. 'OK. So there's this guy...'

'Of course.'

'And well... we had sex. I met him in a bar and he was cute, we got talking and it was basically all meant to be a one night stand. But, such is my life, I bumped into him again a little while after it happened.'

'Awkward' Ashley noted.

'You have no idea' Chris muttered. 'But... I don't know. Despite the odds that would appear stacked against us, we've somehow become quite good friends. I feel like I can tell him things, like talk to him how I talk to you. Sometimes.'

He saw Ashley raise an eyebrow and he knew why. He generally didn't really open up to people very much.

'And he's sweet and funny and I like him but I think I made it quite clear that I only wanted to be friends, nothing more. To be honest, at first, I wasn't even sure if friends was realistic. I just wanted us to be able to coexist peacefully.'

'Why?'

'Huh?'

'I mean why don't you want to be more than friends?' Ashley asked. 'It sounds like you really like him so why not?'

'There are... certain factors' Chris said carefully. 'For one, I am the only man he has ever slept with. He's straight. Or at least,' Chris added, remembering Darren's discomfort while talking about it, 'he says he is.'

Ashley snorted in clear disbelief and Chris couldn't help but nod his agreement. 'But that's not all...'

_Now I have to work with him for some time into the foreseeable future and seriously _fuck_ Ryan because maybe after Darren moved on we could have... But there's no point even thinking about that because he _is_ your colleague now whether you like it or not._

Chris didn't voice that thought out loud. 'You know how I feel about relationships' he said instead, wrinkling his nose.

'Mmm' Ashley grumbled disapprovingly. They had had a few arguments already about Chris' total aversion to anything approaching commitment. 'So what did he actually do that pissed you off so much?'

'He said he wanted to have sex with me. Literally he handed me a sandwich and was like "We should have sex"' Chris said, sounding so affronted that Ashley had to fight down a smile. 'And the way I see it, he either literally just wanted sex in some sort of gay experiment which I'm not sure I'm down with or he wants a relationship after I specifically said I didn't want that.'

'Well what did he say?' Ashley asked.

'Er... I kinda got mad and stormed off' Chris admitted sheepishly.

Ashley's hand stilled in his hair and she let out a long suffering sigh. 'Chris.'

'I know, I know. I... lost my temper. I shouldn't have.'

'You, Colfer, are an idiot. You should have at least heard him out. Sometimes your defence system kicks in and you don't give people a proper chance.'

'I know' Chris repeated more softly. It was the reason Charlie had fucked off, after all. It was Chris' complete inability to be properly vulnerable with another human being. His total avoidance of ever saying the words 'I love you' no matter how many times Charlie said it. Because once you said those words, the other person had the power.

'But I like him' Chris continued. 'And whatever his reasoning, it's going to affect our relationship. And I don't want that. I like having a close male friend. The _Glee_ guys are great but it's not the same. There's just... something different about him.'

'What about Darren?' Ashley asked and _oh yeah _she didn't know it was him.

'Mmm' Chris hummed noncommittally. 'He's cool I guess. Urgh why do things have to be so complicated?'

'Because that's life' Ashley said unsympathetically. 'You know what you need to do?'

'You're gonna say talk to him, aren't you?' Chris groaned.

'I'm afraid so Chris, I'm afraid so.'

* * *

><p>'Peace offering' Darren said, next day. He held up a Diet Coke and he had even tied a little bow around it. Chris couldn't help but smile as he reached out for it.<p>

'Thanks.'

They were silent for a while, both just watching the world go by from their little corner of the set until they both started to talk at once.

'So listen, I feel I should...' Chris said at the same time as Darren said,

'Chris I am so sorry about yesterday.'

'Explain, please' Chris said, the words softened by the look on his face.

Darren took a breath, gathering his thoughts.

'Do you know like when you see someone that has a chocolate cake that they're gonna eat all by themselves and not share? And you may not even like chocolate cake that much but knowing that someone else has the cake and you can't have any of the cake really makes you want it. And you can't stop thinking about the cake, about how delicious and moist it looks and wondering what it tastes like. And it becomes an obsession. You get obsessed with the cake.'

It was taking everything Chris had not to interrupt but he sincerely hoped this was going somewhere because now he was absolutely craving chocolate cake.

'Well that's sort of what I'm feeling right now' Darren said.

'You... want cake?' Chris said, uncertainly, totally confused.

'No! I want... I want you. And I know what you're thinking. We already had sex so how can it be like the cake thing. Because I've already had the cake, I've already eaten the cake. But there was one slice of the cake that I didn't get to try. And I can't stop thinking about that slice of cake, you know?'

'I really don't, Darren. Are you saying you want a blowjob?'

'No!' _Okay, now yes_. 'I'm saying...' he bit his lip. 'I want you to fuck me.'

Chris frowned. 'So let me get this straight. Ever since we had sex you haven't been able to stop thinking about what it would be like to have a cock up your ass?'

Darren flinched at the crude way of putting it. 'Essentially, yes. And the cake,' Darren was determined to keep up this extended metaphor, 'is haunting me. And a good friend of mine told me that the best way to stop thinking about the cake was to actually have some cake and see if it lives up to its reputation.'

Chris seemed to think about that for a moment. 'But you know, there are lots of... bakeries in this world. Why do you specifically want cake from my bakery?'

'Because I went to other bakeries. Believe me I tried. But none of the other bakeries felt right. I guess generally I'm just not really that into cake, just the cake I saw in your bakery.' Darren was pretty sure that this had stopped making sense a long time ago but he ploughed on regardless.

'Who's not that into cake?' Riker's voice said suddenly, plonking himself down in a chair next to Darren. 'Are you crazy, Darren?'

'Oh...er' Darren flushed scarlet and Chris coughed hard to cover up his laugh.

'I love cake!' Riker cried.

'I bet you do' Chris muttered and Darren glared at him. Chris shrugged innocently. 'What, Dare? Riker's right. Everyone loves cake.'

'I'm just saying. That your cake is the specific cake I want' Darren said, widening his eyes significantly.

'Oh did you make a cake, Chris?' Riker asked curiously.

'Er something like that. I have a special sauce' Chris grinned and Darren had to resist the urge to bury his face in his hands. 'Er... Darren. You're not like... in love with the bakery are you?'

Darren's eyebrows shot up because it seemed a pretty serious question to be disguising behind cake analogies. 'Of course not!' he said and Riker looked confused because who the hell was in love with a bakery? About as many people as didn't love cake. 'Geez some bakeries are a bit full of themselves, aren't they? I do _like_ the bakery but the main point is I feel comfortable with that bakery. I've sampled treats from that bakery before. And I feel if I'm gonna take the plunge and try some new cake, it should be from a bakery I already trust, you see?'

'Are you two on crack?' Riker asked. It seemed a reasonable question.

'It's all that Diet Coke' Curt said, joining them. 'Caffeine is a gateway drug.'

'Darren!' Chris snapped, knowing Darren must have put him up to it.

Darren blinked innocently. 'What?'

Chris just shook his head. 'Ok let's just say for one minute that the bakery was prepared to sell you the cake. Would it just be a onetime transaction? To help a brother out or whatever. So you can try the cake? Or would you be expecting repeat business? 'Cause I'm not sure I'm OK with that.'

'Does Chris own a bakery?' Curt muttered to Riker, who shrugged.

'Sounds that way' he whispered back.

'This isn't really about the bakery honestly' Darren said, thinking he knew what was worrying Chris. Chris didn't want a relationship, that was fine. And he wanted to know what Darren's expectations were if they had sex. 'I just can't stop thinking about this cake. And the quicker I try the cake, the quicker I can move on with my life, you know?'

'This is all a bit weird' Chris said, very much voicing what Curt and Riker were thinking. 'So you're saying you want my cake but after you've had the cake you're not looking for anything else, not even like a jam tart or whatever.'

Darren had no idea what a jam tart was supposed to symbolise but he nodded anyway. 'That's right. No cookies, no more cake, no jam tarts.'

Riker gasped. 'No cookies?'

'No cookies' Darren affirmed.

'I... I think we need to talk about this later' Chris said, rubbing his head.

'Chris, come on, it's just some cake' Curt said. 'Just give it to him.'

Chris' mouth twitched and Darren just _knew_ whatever he was thinking was _not_ PG. 'Darren certainly is desperate for my cake' he muttered. 'And my special sauce.'

Telly wandered up at that point. 'Are you guys talking about sex?'

* * *

><p>'You can't just spring cake... I mean <em>sex<em> on someone' Chris hissed. They were both sitting in his car, the only place they could be sure of actually having a private conversation.

'I didn't. There was no _springing_. That makes it sound like I physically assaulted you. I blurted. I blurt. It was an accident, I'm sorry.'

Chris was silent for a long time and Darren started to fidget. 'Chris..?'

'Hush for a minute, I'm thinking.'

Darren let him think but he was impatient for an answer. The way he saw it this could go one of two ways. Chris could say no and things would be awkward between them forever and Darren would pretty much not stop thinking about Chris' cock to the point that it became an unhealthy obsession and he would probably turn to alcohol to dull the pain and become an alcoholic and die in a gutter somewhere and that would all be on Chris. At least as far as Darren was concerned. _Or_ Chris could say yes. They would get rid of all this weird tension between them, Darren would find out what the big deal with the cake was (or not) and everything would be sunshine and rainbows. So really the choice was obvious in Darren's mind. He could see absolutely no flaws in this plan.

'Alright, look Darren. Listen carefully so I know this is going through that sparkly little brain of yours. What do you think will happen after we have sex again? Think carefully now, because see, there are these things called consequences...'

'Fuck you! No need to be so patronising. Your cock is starting to seem less and less appealing.'

'Oh please. You're practically begging me for my cock.'

'Shamefully that is true. But you make it sound seedy when you put it like that' Darren mumbled.

'How is this _not_ seedy?'

'Oh come on. This is just one friend expanding the horizons of another friend.'

'I'll be expanding something alri...'

Darren slapped a hand over his mouth. 'Let me just stop you there.'

Chris shoved him away impatiently. 'But seriously, Darren. Do this for me please.'

'Alright. The way I see it, we're friends right? So it won't be weird. We're free to just have fun and know that afterwards we can still go out for dinner or take the piss out of Riker or sing loudly along to the songs on the radio. We're in that perfect stage. We're not friends that spend every waking minute together... er apart from at work, but we're comfortable around each other. We've done this before so it should be no more awkward than it was. I mean if I hadn't already had sex with you, I would no way be suggesting this. I'm still a little weirded out by it actually, because I'm kind of an old romantic and sex is sort of a _deal_ for me I guess but... I need to taste the cake.'

'So you promise there are no... attachments to me or anything like that?'

'Now who thinks a lot of themselves, Mr Ego?' Darren laughed, echoing Chris' words from the day they met. Chris laughed too and this is why Darren knew this was a good idea. Because things were generally easy with them. Admittedly things had been weird lately but that was all down to Ryan and Chris' cock. And wow Darren didn't need to think about those two things in the same sentence ever again.

'OK' Chris said eventually.

Darren waited. 'Like... OK, OK?'

'Yeah OK. Let's do it. If it means you'll stop being weird and paranoid all the time, I'll give you some fucking cake.'

'Yes' Darren fist pumped the air, which perhaps was an odd thing to do but he wasn't sure Chris would appreciate being glomped. 'I didn't want to die of alcohol poisoning.'

'Wait, what?'

'Er.. long story. So... right now? Can we go back to your place?'

'No! If I'm devirginising you, I want to make it a Kodak moment.'

'Seriously?' Darren frowned.

'No, not seriously. I just got shit to do tonight so get out of my car.'

'But Chris...' Darren whined, pouting and tilting his head in what he knew to be his most endearing look.

Chris examined his nails with an air of affected boredom. 'Just so you know, kicked puppy not a massive turn on for me.' He reached out and gently patted Darren's cheek. For one moment Darren thought Chris was going to pull him in for a kiss but then Chris pulled back and grinned. 'Car. Leave. Now.'

'You're mean' Darren said, scrambling for the door handle.

'Hey, if we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it on my terms, alright? See you tomorrow.'

'Fine. See ya.'

Chris waited for Darren to be out of sight before grabbing his phone.

**To: Ashley Fink**

_It was option A_

**To: Chris Colfer**

_What?_

**To: Ashley Fink**

_Gay experimentation sex_

**To: Chris Colfer**

_So?_

**To: Ashley Fink**

_So what?_

**To: Chris Colfer**

_Are you going to do it?_

Chris' pause in answering her was enough information for Ashley and it was only a minute later that she sent him a simple _Chris..._

It was amazing what she could pack into that one worded text message. But they knew each other well and Chris knew she was worried.

**To: Ashley Fink**

_It's not really a big deal. I would rather he's doing it with me than some stranger to be honest. It's OK. It's just a bit of fun. I can handle it. _

**To: Chris Colfer**

_Are you trying to convince me or you?_

...

**To: Chris Colfer**

_I'm here if you ever need to talk. _


	6. In Which Darren Gets His Cake

**A/N: So hey. It's Christmas Eve for those of us who celebrate Christmas so who knows how many people will actually read this. But I wanted to get this written while I had some time off. And it's a long 'un.**

**Credit to midlifecrisses for not not only being my unofficial beta but for giving me the chapter name :) Go follow her on tumblr guys!  
><strong>

**Warnings for smut and very light bondage if you're not into that sort of thing. **

**Happy Holidays!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 6 – In Which Darren Gets His Cake (And A Whole Lot More)<strong>

Darren is pretty sure that Chris is trying to kill him. For a few days after their conversation in the car, Chris acted completely like nothing ever happened, to the extent that Darren started to wonder whether it all just wasn't some sort of bizarre hallucination brought about by thinking about it so much. Either way, he followed Chris' lead and acted normally because experience had taught him that blurting out about sex in Chris' presence didn't exactly go down well.

Then they didn't see each other for a while because they finished all their scenes for the Sectionals episode long before the others and they had a lot more time off until they had to come in to film the Christmas episode. Chris _hated_ it, Darren could tell. He was used to working sixteen hour days and six day weeks. He was _not_ used to all this spare time he's suddenly been presented with. Darren is not a fan of it either but he's always had plenty to keep him busy. He spent his days trying to write songs for _Starship_, the latest Starkid project, and catching up with his old friends.

'Are you going crazy yet?' he asked when he called Chris after they had been off for just over a week.

'Crazy?' Chris laughed, loud and high pitched and well... crazy. 'No, why would I be going crazy? I have plenty to do. Plenty. Working on my screenplay you know. Went to see my family for a few days...'

Darren didn't say anything and after a few beats of silence Chris groaned. 'A little bit, yeah.'

'That bad, huh?' Darren said sympathetically.

'It's just so strange. I've forgotten what free time is since I started _Glee_ and now here I am with a lot of it. It is a good thing though because I have really been meaning to sit down and work on this screenplay for a while now. And I always love seeing my family so...'

'Tell me about them' Darren asked on a whim, suddenly realising how little he really knew about Chris. He had rambled on at considerable length about _his_ parents and especially Chuck and Chris had listened and asked questions but hadn't volunteered any information about his own family.

'...Not much to tell' Chris said after a moment of hesitation.

'Aww come on Chris. One little tiny speck of information. Then I promise I'll leave you alone.'

'You're persistent aren't you?' Chris said but his voice was fond, not irritated so Darren chalked it up as a win.

'Yup. Tell me tell me tell me.'

'Ok ok. Um... oh. You'll appreciate this. My sister Hannah, she loves Disney, as do I. I took her to Disney Land and we both basically became toddlers on a sugar high. She calls me Pumbaa. Her favorite characters are Timon and Pumbaa see, because they are both outcasts but they're happy and they both remain as themselves. They don't change to fit in, they go out and find people that appreciate them just as they are. And they have each other so they're not really lonely but they probably yearn for something more. And then at the end they find a place that they truly belong. They don't have to be alone anymore.' Chris' voice grew soft and almost sad as he reached the end of his explanation and Darren felt something clench uncomfortably in his chest.

'Chris...' he started gently but Chris interrupted him.

'She says that out of the two of us she's Timon because she got all the looks in the family and clearly also has the superior intellect as well' he laughed but it didn't quite hold its usual warmth.

'She sounds fantastic' Darren said.

'She is' Chris said quietly before he hurriedly changed the subject. 'What have you been up to?'

Darren didn't push it and he rambled on about Starkid and was happy when he got Chris laughing again with his impression of Nick harassing him for the songs that 'I still haven't written. I swear to God, I have the world's worst writer's block right now. So I just threw him off with a load of vague excuses that he saw through immediately.'

They said their farewells and hung up and Darren filed away this new little piece of Chris he had discovered. He took every new piece of information greedily because he loved learning about people. He loved hearing people's stories, learning all the little quirks that made people who they were. He never forgot anyone he met even if it took him a moment to place a face and he remembered the tiniest, most bizarre little details about them. And Chris was the trickiest person he had ever come across. Every learned fact about him was like a victory. Because as much as Darren generally loved learning about people, he really loved learning about Chris.

* * *

><p>When they got back to film <em>Baby It's Cold Outside,<em> Darren had almost forgotten about the whole cake/sex thing. OK, he totally hadn't, but he figured Chris _had_ so he had tried put it from his mind. That is until he walked onto set and saw Chris sitting in his usual chair and eating a piece of chocolate cake. It could have been written off as a coincidence if it wasn't for the way Chris was eating it which Darren could only describe as like watching something from porn.

Darren watched as Chris wrapped his tongue around the spoon in a totally unnecessary gesture, closing his eyes and moaning in a completely obscene way. Darren strode over to him in a couple of large steps.

'What are you _doing_?' he choked out.

'Oh hello Darren' Chris said, licking the spoon again, slow and thorough. 'I am merely enjoying some nice chocolate cake here.'

Darren was extremely glad that none of the other Warblers were here today because it was taking quite a lot of self control to not just jump Chris then and there. He sat down heavily in the chair next to Chris and could merely watch, dry mouthed, as Chris continued to eat.

'Mmm' Chris moaned. 'This is fucking good cake and I get to eat it all by myself.' His tone was mocking.

'You are a bastard' Darren said without thinking and Chris smirked.

'Well it just so happens that I was gonna let you have some. But I'm not sure you deserve it now' he smiled smugly and went back to eating the cake.

'Please, Chris' Darren whispered and he was asking for so much more than cake at this point. But Chris just grinned and passed him a spoon.

'We're making a deal' he said.

'What?' Darren said. He was way too turned on to be dealing with anything but the simplest notions right now. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as Chris licked a stray bit of chocolate off his fingers. _Fuck_.

'A cake deal. When we make a deal, we have cake.'

'And we can't just shake hands like normal people?' Darren asked.

'Normal people?' Chris repeated like it was a drastically foreign concept.

Darren laughed. 'OK, fair point.'

'Besides it's hardly a normal situation is it?'

'I suppose not. Er what is the deal _exactly_?'

'The deal is this. We're going to have sex and we're not going to let it get weird afterwards.'

Darren waited. 'That's it?'

'That's it.'

'In that case, deal! Er do we just eat at the same time or...?'

'To be honest, I haven't really thought this through' Chris admitted. 'So how about this?' He scooped a small piece of cake onto his spoon and held it up level with Darren's lips, looking at Darren expectantly. Darren understood immediately and mirrored the action. Without taking their eyes off each other, they both leant forward to eat off the others spoon. Chris was the first to break eye contact, shutting his eyes in apparent pleasure and up close Darren could see his eyelashes against his pale skin. He made another entirely indecent noise and Darren knew the whole thing was completely deliberate, especially when Chris sat back with a self satisfied smirk on his face.

He examined Darren for a moment and his expression turned to fond amusement which made Darren immediately feel self conscious.

'What?' he asked, almost shyly.

'You've got a bit of...' Chris gestured to his lip. 'Chocolate. Here, let me.' He reached forward, clearly intending to brush it away with his thumb, when they were interrupted.

'Hey guys!'

Darren suppressed a squeak and flinched slightly in his seat and Chris whipped his hand back like he had been stung. Darren almost felt sorry for Matt and might have done if he wasn't such an insufferable cock block at that particular moment. Darren didn't really know him of course, they had met briefly once or twice but he was pretty sure that Chris at least had a civil working relationship with him, but now they were both staring at him in something close to horror, as if he had moseyed on up wearing human skin as a cape.

Chris composed himself first of course. 'Oh, hi Matt!'

'Yeah hi' Darren said as smoothly as he could. Truthfully he had forgotten that Matt was even joining them today. But they were doing Will and Kurt's little exchange first and Darren had to be there to walk past Matt and set off the scene because they wanted it all in one take without 'clunky editing.' That was the explanation Darren had been given anyway and he wasn't about to question anything. He loved this job and intended to stay in it for some time.

'You guys alright?' Matt asked a bit dubiously.

'Yeah we were just... cake!' Chris said, a little nonsensically. 'Do you like cake, Matt?'

'Of course! Who doesn't love cake? Did you make this?'

'Yeah I did' Chris said simply and Darren was really glad that he had refrained from saying anything about 'special sauce.'

'Well I have to say I would love to try a slice of your cake' Matt said and Darren saw Chris' eyes crinkle a tiny little bit at the corners like he was fighting a smile.

'Yeah I've had a lot of people begging me for a taste of my cake lately' Chris said. His tone was casual enough but Darren heard the innuendo like it had been screamed at him and really he was dying. This was horrible. He didn't want to think about Matt... and Chris and... urgh.

He was saved by an angel. Or rather one of the sweet girls from makeup.

'Matt, Chris, come along' she chivvied them with a good natured smile. 'Darren I'll be back for you. Pause here a second, OK?'

'Sure' he said agreeably. Matt followed her straight away but Chris lingered for a moment. He stood, but leaned down, into Darren's space.

'You're coming out with me tonight' Chris said. It wasn't a question.

'Ok' Darren said immediately. He wasn't sure if he had plans but if he did he would cancel them.

Chris smiled warmly and leaned in closer and once again Darren was almost sure that Chris was about to kiss him. But Chris just laughed softly and whispered, 'You've still got chocolate on you' and then he was gone.

* * *

><p><em>Baby it's Cold Outside<em> went relatively smoothly. Even Darren couldn't fuck up the choreography, although he tried hard, tripping and flailing wildly during one take and almost taking out a whole load of decorations. But Ryan seemed very pleased with their interaction.

'Brilliant, Chris' he said after take number five. 'You've got just the right mix of coy and seductive there. Darren... you've really got Blaine's look down but take the edge off it a little. At the moment it's a little too 'I'm going to tear your clothes off and have my way with you' and while the song has that element, I want it a little more innocent. Remember Blaine doesn't like Kurt at this point.'

Darren wasn't sure how Blaine could _fail_ to like Kurt, the way Chris looked during this number but he took the note and by the time they were done it was slightly less 'I'm gonna tear your clothes off' and slightly more 'quiet sexual frustration and desire' which Darren found remarkably easy to tap into.

It still took hours though and evening was most definitely drawing in when they were finally allowed to go home, sent off with a cheerful 'Merry Christmas. We won't see you now until the new year.' He approached Chris after they had left costume, intending to check that they were still on for tonight and maybe say something about how their voices together were pretty much ear porn but Chris beat him to the punch.

'Meet me here,' Chris pressed a piece of paper into his hand which presumably had an address on it, 'at eight. No need to dress up too much. And wash your hair. I'm not having sex with you while it's like that.'

Darren blinked at the casual way Chris mentioned it, but then that was why he thought this was such a good idea. Because he knew Chris wouldn't make a big deal of it. In his mind he knew it was because Chris didn't hold the same views on sex as he did, but he pushed that away for now.

'OK. Yes. Tonight. It's happening tonight' he babbled, sounding nervous to his own ears.

Chris raised an eyebrow. 'Are you having second thoughts? Because you're free to back out at any time.'

'No no' Darren said quickly but a part of him was glad that Chris was so understanding. 'We made a deal with _cake,_ man.'

Chris laughed. 'It's hardly a binding contract, Darren. I think I can let it pass if you change your mind.'

'But I haven't. I won't. I'll see you tonight.'

Chris nodded carefully and once again Darren found himself wishing Chris was easier to read. 'Ok, stud' he smirked. 'I'll see you later.'

This time Darren managed to tear his eyes away before Chris was out of sight. He called that progress.

* * *

><p>'Sorry I'm late! LA traffic, you know how it is. Also I'm slightly insulted you told me to wash my hair, did you not think I would shower before...' Darren ground to a halt as he finally stopped a moment to take in his surroundings. If he had actually had time to stop and think about where Chris was taking him he probably would have assumed it would be a nice dinner or something. Something sweet and intimate, just the two of them. Chris had asked him to meet at <em>The Green Dragon<em> which could easily be the name of a restaurant.

It wasn't. It was what Darren could only describe as a total dive, much like the place he and Chris had first met.

'We prefer places that people would not expect celebrities to be' Jenna scrambled to explain and yeah... Jenna. Because it wasn't just the two of them. No. Looking around, Darren was pretty sure the majority of the cast were sat around the three large tables.

So Darren found himself slap bang in the middle of another _Glee _night out. And Chris was even keeping an eye on his drinking, because when Darren grumpily tipped the first bottle of beer to his lips, Chris had leaned over and whispered into his ear.

'Don't drink too much. I know you want some cake later and I don't want you throwing up.'

An innocuous enough statement to anyone that overheard it but it made Darren's ears go red and he rather sulkily wondered why Chris had bought him to a bar to begin with if he didn't want him getting drunk.

Chris had his reasons of course. Chris had reasons for everything he did. He knew that for this thing to work out between them at all, they both had to be relaxed. That was why he wanted Darren to drink a little bit, just enough to take the edge off his nerves. And _he_ wasn't exactly feeling epically confident about the whole thing either, not that he was going to let Darren know that.

He remembered his first time. It was with Charlie. And Charlie was older and more experienced and patient and that should have been a formula for a good first time. But it wasn't. Chris had been ready, he had been willing and eager. And Charlie had been gentle and loving. But it had been weird. It hadn't been overly painful and it hadn't put Chris off for life or anything like that. But there was always that moment between two people having sex for the first time. Learning what worked for the other person, getting comfortable with each other's bodies and for some reason it just hadn't worked out and Chris' first time had fallen considerably flat. They had practised a lot after that though and they had worked it out but he didn't have that luxury with Darren.

If Chris had any sense he probably would have realised it would be better if it was just as underwhelming for Darren as it had been for him, but instead he found himself wanting it to be incredible. Like he had some sort of point to prove. So he was going to do everything he could to make that happen.

It only took a little while for Darren to warm up to the idea. He was anxious at first because the cast was clearly a family but it turned out they were like those families that seemed to adopt all the neighbourhood kids and they welcomed him with open arms.

Jenna and Heather offered to teach him Single Ladies and he laughed and asked for a demonstration. They willingly gave him a small snippet of it right there in the pub but nothing could persuade Chris to join them. Lea enthusiastically talked to Darren about his musicals and her own love of musical theatre, leading to a long debate about what the best musical ever was, with an uneasy truce decided on West Side Story. Mark tentatively engaged Darren in Sports talk and seemed a lot more enthusiastic when Darren admitted his affection for his Michigan team.

'We do Sport Night sometimes during football season' Cory said, gesturing to himself, Mark and Harry. 'You should totally join us! Chord is.'

Darren smiled and nodded but he cast a curious glance at Chris, wondering why he wasn't involved. Chris seemed to catch his look and he laughed. 'I go along sometimes. But I don't really get the big deal with football to be honest. I can only think of one reason why it's worth watching.' He smirked dirtily, raising a suggestive eyebrow and Naya laughed and high fived him.

'I'm not really a fan either' Kevin confided. 'I'm more a hockey man.'

The conversation turned away then and Darren found himself instead listening to Ashley and Chris talk quietly about this and that. He sort of understood Chris' plan now. He had never seen him looking so relaxed and happy and with a few beers buzzing through his veins, he was starting to feel that way himself.

'So how was filming today?' Ashley asked.

'Yeah it was great... when Darren stopped trying to break the set!' Chris threw a grin Darren's way.

'That was one time!' Darren protested. 'I tripped!'

'Don't worry, hobbit' Ashley said kindly and Darren briefly wondered when that had become her permanent nickname for him. 'Chris is a major klutz. He'll slip up eventually.'

'Really?' Darren asked, surprised. Chris seemed so graceful and put together it was hard to imagine he was clumsy.

'Afraid so' Chris admitted. 'I broke my toe in the first episode of _Glee_. I'm literally damaging myself for this job.'

Darren smiled vaguely and quietly savoured the new fact. He felt he was starting to get a clearer picture of Chris every day.

It was nearly eleven thirty when the first people started to drift away and Darren blinked at how quickly the time had passed. Chris evidently just hadn't wanted to be the first to leave because as soon as a few people had said their goodbyes, he followed suit.

'Bye guys! Come on Dare, I'll drive you home.'

'Oh thanks, Chris' Darren said, playing along. 'I guess I'll see you at some point' he waved to the others.

Chris hadn't been drinking so he had bought his car. Darren was glad. He wasn't sure he wanted to suffer through another awkward taxi journey.

'Are we going to yours?' Darren asked after a little while of driving in silence. Now he was alone with Chris he suddenly felt incredibly nervous.

Chris shook his head. 'Yours' he said without elaboration.

Darren pouted a little. He had never been to Chris' place before and had been looking forward to the opportunity to poke around. 'Why's that?'

Chris glanced briefly over at him, frowning slightly as if he thought the answer was obvious. 'Just thought it should be in a place you are familiar and comfortable with. Besides' he added with a smirk, 'your bed is comfier.'

Darren knew Chris was joking around in an effort to calm him but it had the opposite effect. Because at the mention of his bed and remembering what had gone on there before, he felt another sudden flurry of nerves mixed with anticipation. Now he realised why Chris hadn't done something with just the two of them. The tension would have been unbearable.

'How much have you had to drink?' Chris asked.

Darren shrugged. 'Not much. I'm not really feeling it.'

Chris nodded. 'Good,' he smiled slow and dirty, 'because I want you to be able to feel_ me_.'

Darren swallowed hard.

* * *

><p>The door had barely shut behind them before Chris had Darren pressed against it, their lips only millimetres apart.<p>

'You're sure about this?' Chris asked. Darren was about to nod when Chris gently pressed their lips together, silencing him briefly before pulling back. 'Think about it please. What if it isn't as good as you imagine? Reality can never hope to live up to expectation you know and I feel like this sort of stuff is a bigger deal for you than it is for me.'

'And that is why I am sure' Darren said, matching Chris' soft tone.

'What?'

'You. You're so anxious for this to be OK for me. I can't imagine another person I would want to do this with.' Darren felt Chris tense slightly against him and he hurried to add, 'Not because I love you or anything. But because I trust you to... to take care of me I guess.'

'Oh I'll take care of you alright.' The smirk was back and then Chris leaned in to press their lips together properly. Darren sighed contentedly, wondering whether it was possible to miss something that had only happened once before. He figured it was because he had definitely missed this. The insistent pressure of Chris' lips, the deep, slow slide of Chris tongue against his and the press of their bodies together. Chris Colfer was a fucking amazing kisser.

Chris made to pull away a few times but Darren eagerly chased his lips and caught them again until Chris gently pushed him away, laughing.

'Come on, Dare. I'm not going to fuck you against a door.'

Darren was surprised to realise he found that idea oddly compelling and was about to say something along the lines of _maybe next time_ when he remembered this was a onetime deal and he nodded instead.

'Go get naked' Chris said, pushing Darren in the right direction.

'Where are you going?' Darren asked curiously even as he pulled his shirt over his head.

'I left my supplies in the car. I'll be right back.'

Darren was left wondering exactly what 'supplies' Chris was talking about and walked into his bedroom, shucking his clothes as he went. He lay down on the bed, already half hard just from Chris' extremely talented tongue.

He slowly traced a hand down his body and tried to imagine what it would feel like with Chris' hands on him. With a jolt he realised that he soon wouldn't have to imagine, that the fantasy he had been having for weeks was about to become a reality. He curled his fingers around his cock with a small gasp, quickly stroking himself to full hardness and keeping up the lazy action while he waited for Chris to come back.

'Starting without me?' Chris asked, entering the room and dumping a bag next to the bed before unceremoniously pulling off his clothes.

'Well if you've got better things to do...' Darren teased, not stopping and oddly not really feeling embarrassed.

'I can see I'm going to have to teach you a lesson in patience' Chris grinned and Darren swallowed at the dark look in his eyes. Chris crawled onto the bed, settling himself comfortably on top of Darren, batting his hand away and replacing it with his own.

His hand was perhaps a little too dry and rough but Darren didn't seem to mind and Chris just watched as Darren's head fell back and his eyes fluttered shut. Chris slid his thumb over the head of Darren's cock to gather some precome and soothe the way a little and Darren arched his hips upwards and let out a gasp. Jesus he was so fucking _responsive_.

'You are so gorgeous' Chris muttered without thinking and Darren's eyes opened again, examining Chris through his lashes.

He smiled sweetly. 'So are you.'

Chris made a small derisive noise. 'You don't have to say that just because I'm wanking you off, you know. I already have my hand on your cock, no need to sweet talk me.'

Darren laughed a little breathlessly. 'Mmm I would say it even if you weren't. You're...' The rest of the sentence was lost in a small choked off moan as Chris twisted his wrist slightly, changing the pressure.

'God I love the noises you make' Chris said. He leaned forward until his mouth was level with Darren's ear. 'I am going to fuck you so hard that all you'll be able to do is beg for me to let you come' he whispered and Darren shuddered, arching up into Chris' hand.

'God, _Chris_. '

'Mmm like that' Chris growled and he pressed his lips to Darren's. Darren tried to kiss back but he was breathing too hard for it to be any good and it was more a damp press of their lips together and Darren moaning into Chris' mouth.

'Chris. _More_. Please' Darren panted. Chris sped up the movement of his hand and pressed a trail of kisses down Darren's neck, sucking at the spot below Darren's ear that, he remembered from last time, was particularly sensitive. Chris felt Darren tense slightly beneath him and he abruptly paused in his ministrations, removing his hand and pulling his mouth away from Darren's skin. Darren's eyes blinked open again, hazy with arousal and confusion and he made a noise that might have been a word if Chris had any idea what he was saying.

'Mmm not yet, Darren' Chris smiled. 'How about I suck you off?'

'Ngh' was all Darren managed.

'Use your words Darren' Chris teased.

'Asshole' Darren said lazily, without any real heat.

'Yeah that's for later. But right now I'm going to suck your cock if you don't mind.'

'Yes. I mean no. I don't mind. Please suck my cock, Chris' Darren gasped.

'Now Darren, what have we said about being patient?' Chris said smugly and before Darren could protest he kissed him again, slow and deep. Darren sighed happily and pulled Chris' hips in so they were fitted more snugly together and relishing the feel of Chris' skin so completely against his own.

'I just really like kissing you' Darren said a little stupidly, against Chris' lips. Chris hummed in something that might have been agreement and claimed his mouth again, sucking hard on his bottom lip. The kiss turned messy, a heated slide of their tongues and Darren's hands found themselves firmly wrapped into Chris' hair, angling his head, pulling him in deeper. Chris allowed the small moment of control only briefly before pulling away. Darren made a noise of protest before Chris' lips found his throat and started kissing a path downward, over his collar bone and to his chest.

He paused a moment and then licked over one of Darren's nipples, causing him to cry out. Chris looked up at Darren's face to see him looking down at Chris with hazy, beautiful eyes and a slack jawed expression of pleasure.

'You like that, huh?' Chris asked, less sexily and more curiously than he imagined. He kissed over it again before very gently digging in his teeth. Darren gasped loudly, his hips jerking but trapped under Chris' weight.

'Well that's new' he gasped and Chris smiled, licking over the sensitive area and enjoying the twitches and gasps it caused.

'_So_ gorgeous' he whispered into Darren's skin, figuring Darren wouldn't hear over the noises he was making. He kissed across and devoted the same attention to the other nipple, kissing and sucking until the skin was red and sensitive.

'Chris' Darren choked out, a small desperate sound.

'Yes, Darren?' Chris teased, sitting up and looking at him.

'_Please_' Darren whispered.

Chris shifted his weight, moving backwards so he was more comfortably settled on the bed and his head was exactly where Darren wanted it. He pressed his hands to Darren's hips and, without further preamble, sunk his mouth down over Darren's cock, deep and unexpected.

'Holy shit!' Darren yelled, his hands fisting into the sheets. 'Give a guy some warning.'

It was amazing how Chris managed to give him a bitch glare with a cock in his mouth but he managed it somehow and then Darren stopped caring because Chris bobbed his head, his lips dragging obscenely over Darren's cock, causing him to squirm against Chris' firm grip.

'Fuck fuck fuck' is all he could think of to say as Chris took him deeper than anyone ever had before and hummed around him happily. '_Fuck_.'

Chris looked up at Darren through heavily lidded eyes as he let Darren's cock slip over his lips and Darren made a noise that was a mixture of pleasure and frustration. No one had the right to look that fucking good.

'Hair' Chris said hoarsely and it was an incredible turn on to know that he had done that to his voice.

'What?' Darren asked hazily.

Chris took Darren's hand that was clenched desperately in the covers and put it in his hair, releasing it when Darren caught on and threaded his fingers through it. 'I like it rough' Chris whispered and smirked before putting that talented mouth back to a much better use.

Darren knew he wasn't going to last long. Chris took him so deep and moaned softly whenever Darren gave his hair a particularly violent tug that sent shots of pleasure through Darren's entire body. Darren briefly wondered whether it would be weird to write the person who taught Chris to suck cock like that a thank you letter and then his brain was just mush because Chris was doing this _thing_ with his tongue and _oh God oh God oh God_.

'_Chris_' Darren gasped desperately, his thrusting hips barely restrained by Chris' strong hold. He tugged at Chris' hair trying to pull him off. 'I'm gonna come.'

'Mmm' is all Chris said, his mouth was kind of full after all and he merely redoubled his efforts, flicking his tongue over a particularly sensitive spot and _oh_. Darren came hard down Chris' throat, Chris' name a mere gasp on his lips. Chris swallowed easily and then released Darren's cock from his mouth.

Darren was a boneless heap on the bed all loose and relaxed just how Chris wanted him. Without wasting any time he reached over and grabbed the lube from his bag and slicked up his fingers.

'Darren' Chris said quietly and Darren made a vague noise to show he was listening. 'This shouldn't hurt too much, OK? It may sting a little at first and ache a bit but if it hurts a _lot_ tell me and I'll stop, alright?'

'M'k' Darren said lazily, still too blissed out to care about much of anything right now.

Chris gently stroked over the puckered skin of Darren's entrance for a moment before slowly pushing in one slicked up finger. Darren hissed.

'What's wrong?' Chris asked urgently, starting to retract the finger before Darren grabbed his wrist and smiled lazily up at him.

'It's just a little cold' he said.

'Mmm sorry, baby' Chris said, relieved that he hadn't hurt Darren. The endearment had slipped out of his mouth so easily that he hadn't even noticed it but Darren had. He didn't mention it though, just concentrated on the feel of Chris' finger. He had done this himself so it wasn't much different but he had just come so his whole body was more sensitive, a little more raw and he could feel every small movement of Chris' finger inside him.

Chris shifted so his body was more comfortably rested over Darren's again and Darren didn't realise how much he loved the feel of Chris' solid weight on top of him until it was back. He felt unbelievably safe in Chris' hands and made a small noise of contentment as Chris slid the finger in and out a few times, letting Darren get used to the sensation.

'Another' he whispered.

'Sure?' Chris checked as he withdrew his finger and poured on more lube.

'Come here' Darren said abruptly, tugging Chris in and kissing him softly. Chris responded with surprising gentleness and while Darren was caught in the heady rush of kissing Chris he felt the second finger added next to the first. There was a slight burn but nothing too unpleasant and he smiled into the kiss.

'OK?' Chris asked and Darren rolled his eyes fondly. Chris' concern would be frustrating if it wasn't so sweet.

'Chris?' Darren whispered.

'Yeah?'

'Stop worrying about it and fuck me will you?'

Chris swallowed hard and Darren briefly enjoyed the fact that he had been the one to get Chris off balance for once but then Chris moved his fingers, pulling them apart and stretching and it felt strange to his sensitive body. Chris moved his fingers, crooking up and searching until they brushed against the spot he was looking for.

Darren groaned as a shot of hot pleasure went straight to his cock and he knew that if he hadn't just come he would be hard again.

'Too much?' Chris asked.

'A little' Darren admitted. 'But it feels amazing.'

'Getting fucked when it's all a little bit too much is the best thing' Chris whispered hotly and he moved his fingers again, repeatedly brushing over his prostate and watching as Darren moaned and gasped beneath him at the pleasure that was almost too intense for his sated body. Chris pressed some gentling kisses to his lips but didn't pause in the movement of his fingers, brushing that spot again until Darren didn't know whether to beg him for more or beg him to stop. What came out of his mouth was a moan and Chris seemed to take that as a green light because the next time his fingers left Darren's body there was a third finger added.

Chris pushed the fingers in slowly, always watching Darren's face. He was extremely hard himself at this point and he couldn't wait to sink into that tight heat but he knew he had to be patient a little longer. He wanted Darren _begging _for it.

'How does it feel?' he asked, spreading the fingers, pulling Darren open. Darren made a choked sound.

'So good. Oh my God. I couldn't...' he stopped with a gasp as Chris twisted his fingers. 'By myself. I couldn't... do this.'

Chris' eyes went dark with arousal. 'You did this to yourself?' he asked huskily.

'Mmm' Darren breathed, squirming.

'God you are so hot Darren' Chris said and he claimed Darren's mouth. He kissed him hard and rough, speeding up his fingers to match the pace and soon Darren was melting into the mattress, hands on Chris' ass, pulling him closer and Chris felt the hardness against his hip. 'Impressive' he mumbled but Darren just kissed him some more, making small desperate sounds against Chris' lips.

'Please, Chris. Please. Need you' Darren panted.

'Need what, Dare?' Chris said, brushing up hard against his prostate.

'Ngh. Need you inside me. Need your cock. Chris please now' Darren was an absolute gabbling mess, lips sloppy against Chris' throat, nails digging into skin, rutting upwards uncontrollably. Wanting more, needing more.

'Ok, shh I've got you.' Chris removed his fingers and Darren whined his protest, lifting his hips uselessly against air as Chris moved. Chris grabbed the condoms from his bag and then hesitated. 'Do you trust me?'

Always such a dangerous question but Darren nodded unhesitatingly. 'Of course.'

'Ok.' Chris pulled some scarves from his bag and took Darren's hand. 'Arms up.' He pulled Darren's arms up over his head and tied his hands securely to the headboard using the scarves.

'You kinky bastard' Darren said thoughtfully, testing the bonds. They held firm.

'Hey if we've only got one time, better make it a good time huh?' Chris said as he rolled the condom onto his cock and slicked it with lube, unable to suppress a small noise at the much needed contact.

'My thoughts exactly' Darren agreed, looking up at Chris with eyes so sweet and warm that Chris had to look away.

'Alright, bring your legs up here' he said positioning them. 'It will be more comfortable.'

Darren widened his legs to accommodate Chris lying between them and bought them up around his waist.

'Ready?' Chris asked, keeping his own voice steady. Any trace of nerves on his part would not help Darren.

Darren just nodded, still smiling that trusting smile that made Chris' stomach flip over. Chris positioned his cock and pushed in. Darren gasped at the sudden blunt intrusion, maybe not so much wider than three fingers but just filling him so much more effectively. It ached slightly but Chris' hand on his hip, warm and reassuring, kept him grounded and made him forget about the pain. Chris was slow and gentle, edging in so slowly that Darren wanted to scream. Once he was fully inside, Chris just stayed there, letting Darren get used to it. They just stared into each other's eyes for a moment, Darren's wide and warm and Chris biting his lip in pleasure and the effort not to rush. Chris opened his mouth and Darren just knew that he was going to check he was OK so he crushed their lips together quickly before Chris could ask the aggravating question and jerked his hips to give him a hint.

Chris took it, slowly pulling out almost all the way before thrusting back in again a little more quickly. It felt incredibly intimate, Darren realised. Being with someone like this. As Chris upped the tempo slightly but keeping it at quite a relaxed pace he couldn't stop staring at Chris' face. Chris eyes were closed tight in pleasure but every now and then he would look down at Darren and smile and press a few sweet, absentminded kisses to his lips.

'You feel really good' Chris whispered and Darren could only whimper his agreement.

Chris shifted slightly, thrusting more upwards and found Darren's prostate and now Darren realised why people did this, why they loved it. Having Chris just fuck him had been pleasant but now he was getting that mind blowing, limb shaking pleasure that he had seen on Chris' face. He let out a stream of curses as Chris continued at that exact angle, hitting that spot with every single thrust.

'Oh my God' Darren gasped and Chris laughed a little and kissed him sweetly in complete contrast to his sinful hips. He pulled back a little and pressed their foreheads together, holding Darren's gaze, loving to see the way he looked as he fucked into him. They just rocked together for a few long moments, the only sound their breaths and the occasional whisper of a name, eyes locked.

'Fuck Chris I lov-'

Chris crashed his lips into Darren's so hard, he almost head butted him. _Shit shit shit_. Chris was panicking a little but he didn't show it, just kissed Darren hard. No one meant what they said while having sex anyway. That was like sex 101. But Darren was kind of right, they weren't fucking. They were almost (and Chris despised the term) _making_ _love_. Well he would have to fix that.

His grip became bruising on Darren's hip and he started to slam into him, hard and fast, lifting Darren to meet each punishing jerk of his hips. Darren returned to the babbling mess he was before, unable to string anything coherent together just gasping and saying _Fuck _and _Chris _and _Please_ at random intervals. He strained against his bonds, torn between wanting to hold onto Chris and wanting to touch himself. He was so lost in sensation, the slick drag of Chris' cock inside him, the feel of Chris' lips and teeth now firm and biting against his neck and his weight and the way he smelled.

'Chris please. Oh... I need. Please.' Darren was gasping with need, writing against the bed, absolutely desperate to get off but unable to get adequate friction against his dick. 'Please let me' he moaned and abruptly remembered Chris' promise.

'_I am going to fuck you so hard that all you'll be able to do is beg for me to let you come.'_

He made a sound of frustration mixed with want and Chris eventually took pity on him. He reached down and clasped his hand around Darren's cock. A few strokes was all it took before Darren spilled over Chris's hand with a, 'Holy shitting fuck.'

Chris slowly fucked him through his orgasm and then pulled out, knowing Darren would be too sensitive for him to continue. He palmed his own dick hard and fast, already so close to the edge.

'You are fucking incredible' Darren gasped, staring up at Chris through hooded eyes, wanting to help but still bound tightly. But that was all it took. Chris spilled over his own fist with an almost inaudible gasp of Darren's name.

He lay slumped over Darren's body for a moment, both of them breathing hard before he slowly reached up and undid Darren's bonds. He took off the condom and tied it off, chucking it into the bin, which was within easy reach.

'Chris... fuck.' Darren still seemed a little speechless. 'That was amazing.'

'Well I aim to please' Chris said quietly. He had rolled to the side but was still half on Darren, his nose buried into his shoulder. He wanted to demand that Darren answer for his slip up. For his almost 'I love you' but decided it was safer just to ignore it.

'You'll stay?' Darren murmured drowsily, already half way asleep.

'Go to sleep, Dare' Chris said, not answering the question.

* * *

><p>It wasn't a surprise for Darren when he woke up in the morning to the usual note on the bedside table.<p>

_D_

_Hope the cake was everything you dreamed it would be. Happy Holidays and I'll see you when _Glee_ resumes next year, I guess. _

_C_

Darren sighed and crumpled up the note angrily. Chris was fucking delusional if he thought he wasn't going to see Chris until January. Because Darren had a plan.


	7. In Which It's Not Weird At All

**A/N: First thank you as always to all the beautiful people that review on here or message me on Tumblr. You are all awesome like awesome things. I broke 100 reviews which, for me, is incredible. So seriously, thank you. **

**So I'm not 100% sure of this chapter. Both the boys got very chatty but I guess it is kinda important to see their headspaces a bit. **

**Also question time: Would you guys prefer shorter chapters and quicker updates or are you happy with the long (usually 4,000-5,000 words) chapters and slightly longer between updates?**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 7 – In Which It's Not Weird At All (Except When It Is)<br>**

That day, Darren could see and feel the evidence of Chris all over his body. There were finger shaped bruises branded into his hips that, when he tentatively pressed them, sent a hot, unexpected spike of arousal up his spine. His chest was covered in tiny hickeys, especially around his nipples and his lips were bruised and swollen. And of course his ass hurt a little, mainly a low, ignorable ache but with the occasional jolt of pain as if to remind him exactly what had happened. He found himself wishing he had been more aggressive, that he had marked Chris in some way so that he would be forced to relive it over and over again like he was.

All day he couldn't stop thinking about Chris' face. The warm, adoring look in his eye when he and Darren were rocking together, hot and needy. And the way he had chanted Darren's name in a whisper, the word falling off his tongue like a prayer. The way he had been so careful and gentle and patient.

It was late afternoon by the time he crumbled and called the first person that made sense. Lauren.

'Hello?'

Darren felt a wave of relief at her voice. 'I think I'm having a sexual identity crisis.'

'Oh hi, Dare. Yeah I'm great, thanks for asking. How are you?' Lauren said drily.

'Seriously?' Darren demanded. 'You're mocking me _now_.' But he was secretly a little bit comforted by the familiar sarcasm.

'Sorry, I was stalling. I'm googling Sexual Identity Crisis.'

'Wow' Darren said because yeah... new lows.

'Yeah you're right, this isn't helping. Maybe I need to be more specific' she mused. 'Extremely metrosexual male thinks he might be gay. Shock to no one but himself.'

'Lauren!'

'Ok ok, I'm sorry. Really. Come on then. Tell me about it. When did you realise this?'

Darren paused a moment but he didn't hear the tell tale clack of keys at her end so he took a deep breath. 'Well. You know you told me that the best way to stop thinking about having sex with Chris was to have sex with Chris?'

'Yeah.'

'Hasn't worked.'

'Huh' Lauren said thoughtfully. 'So I'm guessing your anal adventure was considerably more pleasurable than my own.'

Darren actually flinched at the term 'anal adventure.'

'Are you ever gonna tell me about that, by the way?' Darren asked curiously.

'No' Lauren said. 'This is about you.'

Darren sighed. 'OK, yeah. It was... very good.' Understatement of the year. 'And now... I don't know. I really like him. But I've never even had vague leanings towards another guy before. So why Chris? I'm wondering whether I just think I like him because we've had sex and typically I only have sex with people I genuinely care for so now I'm having trouble separating it out? That must be it, right? I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I don't feel gay and...'

'Darren hush' Lauren soothed. 'I sense you are freaking out slightly.'

'You _sense_ that do you?' Darren scoffed.

'The way your voice was getting all high pitched and babbly was giving you away' Lauren said seriously.

Darren rolled his eyes but before he could make any sort of rejoinder, Lauren was speaking again.

'Ok let's start from the beginning. I don't think you want to hear this now but it's not a case of not being able to separate sex and emotion is it? You're not that guy. And besides, you already felt something before you had sex with him the first time. So what was it? What drew you to him?'

'Well...' Darren tried to order his thoughts. 'He came up to me and he was sweet and funny. And he understood my lame Harry Potter references. And we talked for hours before I even took him home. And I never once felt awkward. I felt like I was with one of you guys.'

'What about... physically' Lauren ventured. 'Because your description could just be of a really good drinking buddy.'

'Stunning' Darren breathed without any thought whatsoever. It was the only word that came close to doing Chris justice. 'His eyes... wow. He's beautiful.'

'Does he... erm...' Lauren coughed awkwardly. 'Doeshelooklikeagirl?'

'What?'

'Does he... does he maybe look a bit like a girl?' Lauren said, sounding uncomfortable.

'_What_?' Darren repeated, aghast. 'No! That's a horrible thing to say.'

'Look I just thought... maybe there was enough features... that maybe helped _ease_ the... oh Darren you know what I'm trying to say. I just wondered if he sort of looked unthreatening enough that you were able to...'

'He's _all_ man' Darren spat defiantly and he knew Lauren was trying to help but he was completely offended on Chris' behalf right now. Chris had dealt with that kind of shit all his life and now he had complete strangers saying it, even if he didn't know about it.

'Sorry, Dare. You know I'm not trying to be offensive. I'm trying to help you understand.'

Darren softened considerably at her sincerity. 'I know. But unfortunately I think this is one of those things that are never going to be understood. I thought I was straight but this guy comes along and suddenly I feel like everything I thought about myself has been tilted and blurred until I'm not sure what's real anymore.'

'A tad melodramatic' Lauren teased gently, because that's just how they operated. 'You still know you're a goofy Michigan kid with a penchant for brightly colored sunglasses and musical theatre, a strange obsession with apple juice and soup and hair that is currently a lie. Anyway you're the one who always says that sexuality is flexible and that you don't like labels.'

'I know... it's just kinda different when you're applying it yourself' Darren admitted. He was the most open minded person in the world. He loved everyone just as they were. In fact he particularly loved those that were different in some way. The misfits. It's why he had been so happy to earn a role on _Glee_. But now he felt lost. Like the path he had been on his whole life which he thought was straight (if a little pink and fluffy) had suddenly veered off, making him feel distinctly off balance. 'Finding this stuff out... it's not something you just get over you know? It's not like getting up and deciding "Oh I guess I'm bisexual now. Well that's cool. On with my day."'

'You didn't seem to be having a crisis when he was fucking you' Lauren said bluntly. 'What's changed?'

'I guess I was kidding myself before. I just thought I like him because he's a nice guy and my friend and that the sex was just sex, even though I don't really believe that. And I could ignore all that when I wasn't thinking about it too closely. But now...'

'You love him' Lauren said gently.

Darren paused. 'I don't know' he said eventually. 'We haven't known each other that long. I just know that I don't see any other guy this way. Just him. I want to know him and share things with him and laugh with him but also kiss him and hold his hand and tell him he's beautiful.'

'Sounds like love to me' Lauren said and Darren sighed deeply. He was considerably more fucked than he had originally thought.

'What do I do?' he asked eventually.

There was a pause so long that Darren felt the need to ask. 'You're not googling it are you?'

'No!' she sounded affronted. 'Well from what you're telling me, this sounds like it's more than a bit of bi-curiosity. You sound like you have genuine feelings for this guy and if I know anything about love it's that it's hard, complicated and makes no sense but is ultimately worth all of those things. I'm sorry but there's no easy solution. You can either accept this new part of yourself, accept that you love him and try to win him over with your considerable charm and good looks or you can pretend it's not happening, go out and find a nice girl and move on with your life. But you and I both know you're not the sort that runs, Darren.'

'I'm not' Darren conceded softly. 'I already have a plan anyway. I guess I just wanted to get the freaking out over with first.'

Another long pause. 'I guess I should wish you luck then' Lauren said.

'I'm gonna need it.'

* * *

><p>'I hope this isn't going to become a habit' Ashley said semi-sternly looking down at Chris whose head was once again in her lap.<p>

'What? The sex, or me coming here to complain about this guy that you don't even know the name of?'

'Both.'

'Well I can't promise anything about the latter' Chris said seriously. 'But the sex part was definitely a onetime only offer, come now (pun not intended) or forever hold your peace.'

'I see' Ashley said, amused. 'So, what's the problem?'

'_He's_ the problem. He's just so...' Chris _almost_ said 'he's just so Darren' and that probably would have been a mistake. 'He's just so him.'

'Which means?' Ashley asked patiently.

'He's one of these people where everything he's thinking is on his face. He's one of the most expressive people I've ever met, he wears his heart on his sleeve and it's something I really admire about him, that he has the courage to just be who he is without fear of judgement.'

'But..?'

'It can cause problems when I don't like what I see' Chris admitted.

'Chris, you're gonna have to be a little more specific, honey.'

'It's...' Chris scrunched up his face, trying to think how to phrase the next thing he wanted to say. 'Ok. Well when we were... you know. It was amazing. Because he was so fucking responsive to everything I was doing. He's not afraid to let go... it was a real turn on.' Chris paused for a moment as if reliving it.

Ashley cleared her throat.

'Um yes. But also I could see how he was looking at me. It's not arrogance, Ash.'

'I know' she soothed.

'He was looking at me all... soft and sweet. Like... Charlie used to. Before he got fed up with me.'

'Charlie loved you, Chris' Ashley said quietly. 'That was why he left you. Because it hurt him too much, knowing you weren't as committed as he was.'

Chris swallowed. It wasn't exactly a sore subject with him anymore but there was still there residual pang of hurt and uncertainty whenever he thought about it. 'I just needed a bit more time' he said.

'Chris please' Ashley said as gently as she could. 'Charlie wasn't the one for you. You just desperately wished that he was. You were fooling yourself.'

'He said he loved me and he left me' Chris repeated plainly. 'If that's love then I want no part of it.'

Ashley frowned, wanted to _shake_ him for being so damn stubborn and close minded and letting things that happened in the past ruin his present. But she voiced none of this.

'So he loves you?' she said, trying to get the conversation back on track and away from something that would just lead to another argument.

'Who?' Chris said vaguely, clearly caught up in remembering.

'This mystery guy?' she prompted.

'Oh! Well... I don't know. He nearly he said he did.'

'Nearly?'

'Um... well it was during sex so it doesn't really count does it?' Chris sounded almost desperate for her to agree with him.

Ashley shrugged. Usually she _would_ agree. Sex rule 101. But there seemed to be something much deeper going on here. So she tried a different tack. 'And how do _you_ feel about _him_?'

Chris was silent for so long that Ashley thought he wasn't going to answer but then he spoke. 'Scared' he whispered and Ashley drew in a quick breath. Chris never admitted to that sort of thing.

'Why?' Her hands found his hair and she brushed through it in a soothing motion.

'I... I don't want to lose him. But I can't date him. I _can't_. I can't be what he wants me to be. I don't think I love him. And at least if he's my friend, I can have him for a little while longer. Is that selfish? It was stupid definitely. To lead him on, have sex with him, put him in an intimate situation that I knew he couldn't handle. But then I thought of him doing it with someone else and I... couldn't let him do that. I don't know.'

Ashley was silent for a moment. She had never heard Chris talk about anyone like this before. This required delicacy. 'It sounds like you care about him a lot' she said carefully.

'Maybe' Chris said evasively. He was shutting down.

Ashley sighed. 'It _was_ stupid. But _he _asked _you_ so it's not like you exploited his feelings for you or anything. But he's probably in a very vulnerable place right now. I mean if you're the only guy he's ever been with and he really has fallen for you then you need to try and not...' she trailed off.

'Be me?' Chris said with a small smile.

'... be so abrasive' Ashley settled for. 'I know you're scared. But so is he, I expect. Maybe you can work this out together?'

'I really hope so.'

* * *

><p>'Do you know what we should do?' Darren asked down the phone nearly a week later. He still wasn't quite past the freaking out stage but figured that actually seeing Chris might help him make more sense of everything.<p>

'What?' Chris asked, a bit warily. After all, the last time Darren had said those words it had been followed up with 'we should have sex.'

'Go ice-skating.'

'Go ice-skating' Chris repeated slowly as if trying to work out Darren's angle. 'OK no, you've lost me.'

'It doesn't seem like it's that hard of a concept to grasp' Darren said reasonably.

'It's just a little out of left field, that's all. I wasn't sure if it was another convoluted metaphor like the cake thing.'

Darren flushed. That was something he didn't need to be thinking about at that exact minute. 'No. It's not a metaphor I mean. I just thought it would be nice if we hung out.'

There was a long pause from Chris' end. 'I just can't work you out, Darren Criss' he said eventually.

'Is that necessarily a bad thing? You need to let go every now and then, Colfer.'

Chris hummed. 'Ice skating you say? You know, putting a man of my considerable clumsiness on ice can only end badly for everyone involved, right?'

Darren chuckled. 'Why do you think I picked ice skating? But I promise I won't let you fall. Don't you trust me?'

'Yet to be decided' Chris said. His tone was teasing but Darren sensed that it was a lot truer that he really wanted to think about. 'But I suppose I can try and put a little faith in my fellow man.'

'That's the spirit!' Darren said cheerfully. 'I know a little place. Hopefully we won't be too mobbed.'

'Just tell me when and where. In fact, text me in a minute. I don't have a pen to hand right this second.'

'Excellent. It's a date!' Darren said and then wanted to punch himself in the face. Because that was possibly the worst thing he could have said at that particular moment. 'Er... a date between friends. Because that's all we are. Friends. Friends go ice-skating you know.'

'I know' Chris said, sounding faintly amused. 'You're not following the rules of the cake deal.'

'What?'

'You promised it wouldn't get weird.'

'I'm not getting weird. Who's getting weird? _You're _weird' Darren spluttered and then hung up. He had to take a second to shut his eyes and absorb the horror of the situation until his phone buzzed in his hand.

**From: Chris Colfer**

_Not weird at all ;)_

* * *

><p>This was almost definitely a bad idea. Chris was almost one hundred per cent sure of that. If sex hadn't been enough of a lead on, what was a date? Apart from this wasn't a date according to Darren. Friends went ice-skating apparently. Chris wouldn't really know. He didn't have any close male friends that he would hang out with one on one. It had been years since he had been ice-skating and the last time had been with Hannah and they had both spent a considerable amount of time flat on the ice if he remembered correctly.<p>

Maybe he should have run this past Ashley first. Or even Lea without giving any of the major details. But no. He was a grown man. He could make his own decisions.

Which didn't explain why he had been pacing up and down on the street outside the rink for the last fifteen minutes.

'For God's sake, Colfer. Man the fuck up!' he said aloud, earning a scandalized look from a woman passing by with a pram. He sent her an apologetic look, squared his shoulders and walked into the rink.

He saw Darren first and felt his face break into a reluctant smile at the sight of him in his beanie and actual mittens, slouched against the wall and glancing a little agitatedly at his watch.

'Hey, Dare!' he called. 'Sorry I'm late.'

Darren glanced up and his face spit into an absolutely blinding grin, warmth flooding his features and making his eyes light up. Chris caught his breath.

'It's ok! You're here now' Darren approached him and looked a second away from pulling him into a hug. He changed his mind last minute and sort of gave him a gentle shoulder bump instead which Chris was stupidly grateful for. He wasn't sure he could deal with physically affectionate Darren right now.

'That I am. I feel like it's my duty to inform you that I haven't skated in about four years and any injuries you or I incur as a result of this are entirely your fault because I did try and warn you.'

Darren laughed, a bright delighted sound. 'Chris, relax. I've got you, man.'

Chris' brain chose that exact moment to flash back to Darren writhing and naked beneath him and begging for his cock.

'_Chris, please now.'_

_'Ok, shh I've got you. Do you trust me?'_

'_Of course.'_

Chris swallowed nervously and it seemed Darren was having a similar thought because his eyes had darkened slightly and his voice was a little shaky when he said, 'Let's go get some skates, OK?'

It took twenty minutes before Darren could even persuade Chris to get on the ice. Sweet talking and cajoling seemed to fall on deaf ears so eventually he resorted to shaming him.

'Look, Chris' he said, pointing to a group of small children skating around like they were born for it. 'There are _actual_ toddlers who are showing you up right now. Are you gonna take that?'

Chris stuck his nose in the air in a haughty look that was so Kurt it made Darren laugh. 'Don't think I don't see what you're doing with your underhand tactics' Chris said. 'As it is, I _am_ ready to get on the ice now but I want it known that it was my decision and I was not swayed by your petty school boy schemes.'

'Understood' Darren said, with a smile and for a single unguarded moment Chris grinned back before he composed himself again.

'Ok' he groaned. 'Let's do this thing.'

Darren skated out onto the ice first, with an ease that Chris wouldn't have believed from the utter goofball who had trouble with simple side stepping dance routines. That, more than anything, made him determined to do this.

Darren just watched, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing as Chris edged onto the ice, trying to gain purchase, looking so much like Bambi from the movie that it wasn't good for Darren's sanity. After a moment of watching him scramble and holding on to the edge like it was a life line, Darren took pity on him and skated over to him.

'You weren't kidding, huh?' he said.

'I hate you, Darren' Chris said miserably.

'No you don't' Darren sing-songed smugly. 'Can I offer some advice?'

'Can I stop you?'

Darren glared. 'First of all, you need to relax. Where's your ninja skill and sense of balance?'

'I left it at home. With my sanity and peace of mind.'

'Second thing' Darren said loudly as if Chris hadn't spoken at all, 'is to remember that the worst that can happen is you fall, which isn't that bad.' Darren gestured to where someone was spread-eagled on the ice trying to glare at a friend who was trying to help them but was laughing too hard, and failing miserably, laughing themselves. 'See?'

'You said you wouldn't let me fall' Chris said quietly. 'You _promised_.'

'I did, didn't I?' Darren agreed, cocking his head. 'And I intend to keep that promise. Now come here.'

He took one of Chris' hands and pulled him gently away from the wall. Chris let out a little squawk of surprise and grabbed tightly onto Darren's arm with his other hand.

'Relax' Darren reminded him and let go, skating a little way away.

'Darren!' Chris hissed, looking so reproachful that Darren had left him that Darren almost went directly back over to him.

'Come on, Chris. Don't make me pull the toddler card again. Because I'll do it.'

Chris gritted his teeth. 'Right. I can do this.'

'Of course you can!' Darren said encouragingly, holding out his hands. 'Now bend your knees a little. Feet turned out, that's it. Now take little steps, and try and glide the rest of the way to me.'

Chris literally had no idea what Darren had just said so he allowed instinct to take over for the most part, shuffling forward on the ice. It wasn't graceful but it got the job done, closing the gap between him and Darren until he was a hair's breadth from Darren's reaching hands. But apparently Darren was a bastard because when Chris got close, he smiled smugly and skated backwards, away from him. Backwards.

'What the f...' Chris trailed off, aware that there were little kids around. 'You can skate _backwards_? I should have known! Darren Criss, master of all. Darren freaking perfect Criss who can skate freaking backwards. Is there anything you can't do?'

'Roll my tongue.'

'Wait, what?'

'I can't roll my tongue' Darren repeated. He poked it out and went cross eyed looking at it, contorting it oddly and twisting from side to side as he clearly tried to roll it.

'Can you just... not?' Chris asked weakly. He didn't need reminders of what Darren's tongue could do.

Darren laughed but thankfully stopped with the tongue thing, much to Chris' relief. 'Come on, Colfer. Catch up. Does it not bother you that I can skate faster backwards than you can forwards?'

It was with a mixture of fond teasing and encouragement that Darren managed to bully Chris across the entire width of the rink. He finally came to a stop with his back to the rink wall and Chris, who had finally built up some steam, crashed straight into him.

'Oops, sorry!' Chris said, scrambling slightly for balance.

Darren looped his arms around Chris' waist, steadying him and laughing slightly.

'I did it though!' Chris said excitedly, not seeming to mind the close physical proximity. 'I did it.'

'That you did' Darren smiled affectionately.

'So what's my reward?' Chris asked coyly, cocking his head and he was far too close, far too warm and solid against Darren, and Darren only had a certain amount of self control.

'I'm sure I can think of something' Darren breathed, his eyes flicking to Chris' lips. He shifted slightly, leaning in, making his intention as obvious as he could. Chris' eyes were a little guarded but he didn't move but whether it was because he literally couldn't or because he didn't want to, Darren wasn't entirely sure. He hesitated too long.

'Oh my God, you're Kurt!' squealed a voice suddenly.

'Crap!' Chris yelled, jumping so hard that he lost his balance and, despite Darren trying to keep a hold on him, went crashing to the ground.

'Oh no!' A little girl of about six peered down at Chris anxiously. 'Sorry, Kurt. Did I hurt you?'

Chris groaned and Darren stifled a laugh. 'No no, he's fine. Don't worry' he assured her and held out a hand to Chris, hauling him to his feet.

The girl stared at Darren, wide eyed. 'You sang Teenage Dream. You were very good. But Kurt is my favorite' she said matter-of-factly. 'Are you two boyfriends?'

'What? Er no. No we're not' Chris said hastily. 'Just friends. Darren here is just giving me a skating lesson. He's not a very good teacher' he stage whispered as if confiding a great secret and the girl giggled.

'Can I have an autograph?' she asked shyly.

'Um... sure' Chris said, noticing the girl didn't have paper or pen. He frisked himself, knowing full well he had neither.

'I have a pen' Darren offered, holding it out.

'Thanks, Dare' Chris said gratefully, still rifling. His hand closed around an old bus ticket. Perfect. 'What's your name, sweetie?' he asked her.

'Lizzie' she mumbled. 'Can you put "Love and kisses, Kurt." My friends will be so jealous.'

'Sure can' Chris said easily.

_Dear Lizzie_

_It was lovely to meet you. Best wishes for the future._

_Love and kisses,_

_Kurt_

_(Chris Colfer)_

'Thank you!' Lizzie cried, beaming widely. She looked set to skate away but then she stopped. 'Kurt, can I tell you something?'

'Sure.'

'I think Darren wants to be your boyfriend. He looks at you like my Mommy looks at my Daddy. Maybe you should let him. He seems nice.'

Chris flushed. 'I'll er bear that in mind. Thank you, Lizzie.'

She just smiled serenely and skated off with a wave.

They both stood for a moment side by side, avoiding each other's gaze and letting the silence stretch uncomfortably.

'So this is weird' Darren said just for something to say. Maybe he should have denied what Lizzie had said but he felt if he was going to do that he should have jumped straight in and the moment had definitely passed.

'Yeah' Chris forced a smile. 'We're definitely breaking the terms of the cake deal now.'

'Tell you what' Darren said, determined to get things back on to a normal footing and for once it seemed Chris wasn't going to diffuse the awkwardness with some fond snark or an inappropriate comment, 'if you can do one lap of this rink completely unaided you'll get your reward. Which will be a drink of your choice in the cafe there.'

Chris seemed to almost physically pull himself together, shoulders going back, chin lifting and face smoothing over to hide what he was thinking. Then he smirked. 'Wow. You sure know how to treat a guy. A drink of my choice!'

'You know it' Darren grinned back. 'Come on, Colfer.' He skated a short way away and held out his hands again. 'Get to.'

* * *

><p>'I have <em>earned<em> this Diet Coke' Chris said tiredly, flopping down into a chair. Darren just shook his head fondly, clutching his own can of soda, a Fanta.

'You're a natural!' he lied kindly. 'Once you got past the Bambi, scrambling and flailing stage.'

'So never then?'

Darren laughed. 'OK so maybe ice skating isn't your thing. Next time you can pick what we do.'

'Hmm well you haven't lived until you've been to a _Glee_ bowling tournament. It's a bloodbath.'

'I can imagine' Darren said drily but he had to wonder if Chris had deliberately picked something that was a group activity. Like he was looking for separation. He tried not to let it bother him. 'Chris, about what Lizzie said. I know it... worried you. But it shouldn't.'

He reached over the table and put his hand on Chris' who only let it stay there for a few seconds before pulling away and wrapping his hands around his drink. Darren flinched. Ok, _that_ one hurt and he had to grab the ketchup bottle in the middle of the table just for something to do with his hand.

'It's not worrying me' Chris said and Darren was sure he was lying even though his voice was even and he met Darren's eye. 'I'll tell you what bothered me. You let me fall!' Chris' tone was sufficiently playful but Darren had the horrible feeling he had failed a test he didn't know he was taking. That somehow Chris was talking about a lot more than the fact that Darren had literally let him fall down on the ice. But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? Darren hadn't done _anything_. Maybe Chris was right and he was just totally paranoid.

'One time! And that was only 'cause you got scared by a _little girl_.'

'Terrifying creatures, little girls' Chris said sagely.

'Of course they are' Darren said patronisingly and Chris just rolled his eyes.

'You'll be sorry when some twin girls go all "The Shining" on your ass.'

'I think we need to have a little conversation about the differences between reality and pretend' Darren said seriously and Chris laughed.

The conversation eased then, the two of them arguing furiously over which horror movies were the best with Darren a strong supporter of the old classics like the old Dracula movie and scoffing at Chris' defence of the Saw movies.

And it was nice but Darren was exhausted. Because Chris was all over the place. Darren never knew whether he was coming or going and even if Chris' unpredictability was one of the many things Darren loved about him, it would be nice to have some sort of ground to stand on rather than just vague snippets of nothing.

Darren's plan had been to take Chris out a little bit, show that he was going to be sticking around, hopefully that he was a 'good guy' and let their relationship grow naturally more intimate over time. Admittedly they had done things in a weird order but Darren was nothing if not a little old fashioned and he was determined to actually date Chris properly, but now he wasn't sure if Chris would even allow him to do that. Chris was already putting walls up, drawing back, despite what he said about things not getting weird.

'What are you doing over the Christmas break?' Darren asked suddenly.

'Going to Clovis to see my family. Why?'

'I'd like to see you again before we come back for _Glee_... er if that's cool with you?'

Chris hesitated but then he heard Ashley's voice in his head telling him not to be an ass. Which she hadn't said in so many words but she had implied it. 'I'm sure that can be arranged' he said finally and he smiled.

'Can we make a deal on it?'

'We have no cake' Chris pointed out.

'Then we'll have to improvise. With soda. A soda deal. Agreed?'

Chris picked up his Diet Coke and clunked it against Darren's Fanta can.

'Deal.'


	8. In Which They Find Their Rooftop

**A/N: Happy New Year everybody! Have some fluffy fluff to celebrate. Thank you as always for the kind words!**

**Also there's a fair bit of Mario talk. I apologise to anyone not familiar with it.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 8 - In Which Chris And Darren Find Their Rooftop<br>**

Darren only waited the mandatory minimum three days before calling Chris up again. He didn't want to give Chris time to over think things again. And besides, he genuinely wanted to see him.

'Darren.' Chris sounded fondly irritated. 'To what do I owe the pleasure?'

'Did you miss me?' Darren chirped.

'You know,' Chris said, not answering the question. 'There is a direct correlation between time spent apart and how affectionate people feel towards each other.'

'You mean distance makes the heart grow fonder?'

'If you want to put it into layman's terms then yes' Chris said.

'We should hang out!' Darren said.

'Do you have any other friends or...?'

'None as awesome as you' Darren grinned.

'Poor you' Chris said and that sounded entirely too heartfelt for Darren's liking.

'Hang out!' Darren insisted and then when he realised that didn't mean anything he added, 'We should.'

'Are you doing a Yoda impression or have you just lost what little sanity you had left?'

'I feel like you're evading' Darren said grumpily.

'I never would' Chris said without much sincerity. 'Ok. What do you want to do?'

'Say, have I ever told you about my brother's band?'

'It's come up' Chris said drily.

Darren laughed. 'Well how about we go see them? They're doing a little gig on Thursday down at the Ventura. Sold out but I think I can get us in. I know a guy.'

Chris snorted. 'Do I have any say in the matter?' he asked, sounding amused.

'Not really' Darren said seriously.

'Well then I guess I have no choice.'

'A sense of obligation is all I ask for.'

Chris laughed and Darren beamed at the sound. 'I'll text you the deets yeah? I have to go.'

'You did not just say deets.' Chris sounded genuinely offended.

'Bye, Chris!' Darren trilled, ignoring him.

Another small laugh, softer and somehow more intimate. 'Bye, Darren.'

* * *

><p>It had been way too long since Chris had done this. There was something about the experience of being squished into a small pub or club with only one hundred or so other fans, battling bad acoustics and often not even having a real stage that made the connection to the band more raw and powerful, an experience you just didn't get with the massive concert shows he had done with Glee. It was at gigs like these that friendships were made, fans meeting other people that loved this important thing in their life as much as they did. At gigs like these the band would talk to the audience, engage in banter, their only little way of saying thank you. And the dizzying swirl of cheap booze and the low throb of the music mixed together making Chris feel lighter than he had in weeks.<p>

And he genuinely liked the _Freelance Whales_, having checked them out the first time Darren mentioned them, which was very early on in their friendship.

A girl next to him squealed excitedly and grabbed his hand, squeezing it.

'I love this one!' she cried happily and Chris didn't pull away like he normally would have. He just squeezed back and grinned.

'Me too!'

She laughed for no particular reason it seemed, she was just happy, and released him. Chris glanced over at Darren, possibly to shout something pointless into his ear but he forgot what it was and just caught his breath when he looked at him.

He looked radiant, there was no other word to describe it. His whole face was alive with obvious joy and pride at seeing his brother up there. He was swaying a little, dancing in a Darren kind of way but not singing along, even though he clearly knew every word, just savouring the sound, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. Chris followed the curve of his throat with his eyes and his mouth went dry.

Without any conscious decision on his part he moved closer, gently nudging into Darren's side. Darren threw an arm around his waist, tugging him close and briefly nuzzling into his neck.

'Good, aren't they?' Darren mumbled into his skin. Chris nodded, looking down at Darren.

'Amazing.'

* * *

><p>'I want to show you somewhere' Darren said abruptly. He was still buzzing from the gig, it was only 10.30 and besides he wasn't ready to let Chris go just yet. To his surprise Chris just smiled and shrugged.<p>

'OK. Lead on, Macduff.'

'Shakespeare reference. Classy.'

'I aim to please.'

So after a quick text to Chuck to apologise for not hanging around afterwards as he normally did, he took Chris to _The Cup and Saucer_ which was a coffee shop that was far less cheesy than its name lead people to believe. It was small and cosy and had that miss matched, thrown together kind of look that seemed effortless but actually took a lot of patience and money to perfect. But the big selling point to Darren was the fact that it had live music a lot of the time. Even at this time in the evening there was a young woman sat on the raised platform that counted for a stage and singing softly along to her acoustic guitar.

'It's my rooftop' Darren explained when they were sat down with their coffees and Chris had examined Darren curiously, asking the question as to why they were there with his expression.

'Your rooftop?'

'You know how in movies people always have that place they go to get it away from it all, somewhere they can be alone and think and breathe? Well more often than not it's a rooftop. But this is my rooftop. When it's all a bit too much I just come here to unwind.'

Chris looked around again with a fresh perspective. He had to see Darren's point. He didn't think he'd ever seen a place that was more warm and bright and friendly, from the cheerfully humming barista to the squishy sofas and calming orange lighting.

'It's very you' he said. 'I like it.'

Darren beamed like Chris had just bestowed the greatest of compliments on him and Chris flushed a little but then he smiled back, just as warmly.

'So, Colfer' Darren said, deciding a subject change was in order. 'When I am ever going to get to see your apartment? I feel like you're hiding something. You don't do something really weird like collect hair do you? Or toe nail clippings?'

Chris pulled a face. 'Eww. No. No I do not.'

'Oh oh oh I know!' Darren said, warming to his theme. 'You're secretly a superhero and if I saw where you live I would be privy to your secret identity and then you'd have to get me killed.'

'That _would_ be a shame' Chris said drily and Darren laughed.

'Hmm you've got a shrine to someone embarrassing? Is it Taylor Lautner?'

'No it is not!' Chris said hotly. 'I mean, I don't have a shrine.'

'Oh God, you do, don't you? It's me, isn't it? That's why I'm not allowed over. You've just got a cupboard of pictures of me in' Darren teased.

Chris flushed deeply, looking almost caught out and Darren stopped short.

'You don't really have a cupboard full of my face do you?' he asked gently.

Chris took a deep breath and then suddenly started talking fast. 'I've got _one_ picture of you and it's A Very Potter Musical picture and it's not even a big deal, it's mixed up with loads of other stuff and I hardly ever look at it and I didn't even recognise you so it's not like I'm a psycho fan is it? I mean...'

'Chris, woah! Calm down. I was only kidding. I don't find that odd at all.'

'Is that because you're a particularly good finder?' Chris asked a little shyly, feeling a bit more confident now he knew Darren wasn't freaked out. 'Because you're definitely a Hufflepuff.'

'Hey! Gryffindor all the way, man. Anyway I think you need to update that picture.'

'Huh?'

Darren just smiled and pulled his camera out of his pocket. 'Come here.' He leaned over the table and stretched his arm out. Chris made a noise of protest but did it anyway, pressing their cheeks together so they would both fit in the frame. 'Smile.'

Darren had to laugh when he looked at the picture. Neither of them had smiled, choosing instead to pull stupid faces. Chris had scrunched his face up in a way that was probably more adorable than he was aiming for and Darren had quirked an eyebrow, and twisted his mouth to one side.

'Ok' he said happily. 'Now a nice one.'

They had to take a few more until Darren was satisfied.

'That's not the reason you know' Chris said when they were both seated again.

'Eh?' Darren had totally forgotten what they had been talking about.

'That's not the reason you can't come to my home. There is no reason. You just haven't yet.'

'Well why didn't you say so? Let's go now.'

'Once again I must ask: do I have any say in this?'

Darren smiled sweetly. 'No.'

* * *

><p>Several hours later and they were embroiled in the fiercest Mario Kart tournament Darren has ever been in. They were both pretty equally skilled and it wasn't long before jokey accusations of cheating were flying around.<p>

'I am a bit disappointed in you though' Darren said before sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth to navigate around a particularly tricky bend.

'Why's that? Oh fuck! Banana. I think that was one of mine as well. That's embarrassing.'

Darren laughed. 'Because you have a wii. The wii is not a true console.'

'What do you mean, it's not a real console?'

'Fuck! Yoshi what are you doing man? Me and you are a team.'

'I would guess he was doing what you're telling him to do, Darren' Chris said drily.

'Ha ha. Anyway the wii... the wii is like for mothers. Or children under six. People that don't really game. This isn't a real controller. You don't get the same _connection_ to the game. It's not as...'

'You're not going to use the word "organic" are you?'

Darren pointedly ignored him and continued like he hadn't been interrupted. 'It's all just a load of arm flapping. It doesn't require any skill.'

'Oh my God. You're a _hipster_' Chris said in mock disgust. 'Anyway I feel like you're just saying that because you're losing.'

'I am _not_. And if I am, it's because you're cheating.'

'We've been through this. How do you cheat the wii?'

'I'm sure you'd find a way' Darren muttered darkly as he got hit by a green shell.

There was a moment of brief silence as they struggled for first until Chris threw his arms into the air in triumph. 'Yeeees!'

Darren groaned. 'Alright you win, Colfer. Although _how_ you managed with that fat bastard I will never know.'

Chris gasped. 'Take that back! Bowser is not fat. He's misunderstood. He just wants to be loved! That's why he steals Peach all the time.'

'Peach is a bitch' Darren said bluntly.

'Right? I mean come on. You get to the point where you think enough is enough. How many times has she been "kidnapped" now?'

'Too many. You'd think she'd at _least_ go to some self defence classes or something. But no. It's all "Come save me Mario. Again. Because I am incapable of doing anything for myself and am a royal hoe."'

'Wow you really hate Peach, don't you?' Chris sounded mildly impressed.

'To an irrational level' Darren admitted. 'I'm pretty sure she single-handedly set back the feminist movement at least twenty years. And I mean Mario is a _plumber_. What's he going to do?'

'It's not just Peach! Luigi gets himself in some pretty contrived situations as well.'

'Yeah but... oh shit!'

'What?'

An errant glance at his watch had shown Darren the time. 'It's nearly three. I should go' he said guiltily.

'Oh I see. You get me all jacked up on caffeine and then you fuck off. Classy' Chris grumbled.

'You mean... you want me to stay?'

Chris looked suddenly uncertain. 'Well I mean only if you want to. Maybe we could just watch a movie until we're tired?'

Darren disguised his surprise.

'Sure. I'd like that.'

* * *

><p>Chris woke up first, blearily wondering why the hell he was on his couch and why the title screen music on the Batman DVD was playing on a loop. He reached out and slapped a hand on the remote control, hitting the power button only by coincidence and then sat up to stretch, groaning when his muscles screamed in protest at the position he had been sleeping in.<p>

The next thing his eyes settled on was Darren who looked even more uncomfortable than he felt, curled up in an armchair but somehow sleeping peacefully. He got up and walked to Darren's side, shaking his shoulder gently.

'Darren. Darren, wake up. It's nearly...' Chris looked at the clock. 'Shit. Eleven. It's nearly eleven.'

Darren stirred and opened his eyes, smiling soft and sleepy when he fixed on Chris. 'Morning' he said drowsily, his voice rough and Chris swallowed audibly.

'Hey' he all but whispered back. He was saved from having to say something else by Darren.

'God. I definitely need some caffeine.' He sat up, stretching and wincing in much the same way Chris had.

'Yeah but we drank the last of the coffee last night. I actually have a coffee hangover. Is that possible?'

'We did drink a shit load' Darren said thoughtfully.

'Thank you for that diagnosis.'

'Coffee, Chris!' Darren whined, burrowing his head into the cushion.

'Ok, I have a plan.'

'Sounds ominous.'

'I...' Chris hesitated and Darren glanced up at him, surprised to see Chris anxiously chewing his lip. 'I was wondering if you would like to see _my_ rooftop.'

'If you want to show it to me, I would love to see it' Darren said honestly. If he was going to be completely truthful with himself he had shared last night with Chris – his brother's band and his coffee shop – in the hope that Chris would share something in return, no matter how small. And it seemed it had actually worked.

'And we can get you some coffee on the way.'

'In that case I am most definitely in.'

* * *

><p>'Wow Chris. This is... incredible.' Darren was pretty sure he was gawking. He tried to stop.<p>

'Yeah' Chris said simply.

It wasn't just that it was a library. It was the largest freaking library Darren had ever seen. It was bright and airy but it still seemed to have that musty, secret feeling that came from cramming lots of books together in one place. The librarian on the desk had greeted Chris fondly and Darren sensed this was somewhere he came often.

Chris was giving him that look again. That sweet, warm smile that made Darren's stomach turn over.

'Come with me' Chris said quietly. 'I'll show you my favorite part.'

He grabbed Darren's hand and Darren's breath stuttered. He didn't mention it, tried not to even acknowledge it in his own _brain_ because he was scared that this delicate thing that he and Chris had built would come crashing down. He spent the whole walk fretting over how to hold his hand and it was almost a relief when Chris arrived at his destination.

'I've never seen anyone in this aisle' he said. 'Maybe no one cares about taxidermy. Or at least they don't want to learn it from a book.' He grinned. And then he was pulling Darren down until they were lying side by side in the aisle, staring up at the books around them. 'It's probably silly' Chris said, suddenly bashful. 'But I find them comforting. I just like to look at them and I like the way the pages smell. I'll come here sometimes and just... breathe them in.'

'It's not silly' Darren said softly, not wanting to break the spell.

'It was an escape' Chris blurted suddenly, almost like he was stealing himself. 'Books. Heroes and monsters and adventures. I didn't have to face my own demons when I was helping Hercules face down the Hydra or Frodo take the ring to Mordor. I used to read to my sister a lot. And we would make up our own stories. Long epic fantasy's with fairies and elves and there was always a happy ending. It helped her sometimes. She found them calming.' He paused for a long time and then added, even more quietly, 'I'm going to write her a book someday. It's all up here' he tapped his head. 'Now I've just got to get it on paper.'

'You will' Darren said, of that he was certain. He reached across and took Chris' hand again and they lay there for a long time just quietly breathing together and staring at the books.

* * *

><p>They took their coffee, bought in the little library cafe, onto the roof. It seemed appropriate.<p>

'I come up here sometimes' Chris said, the wind almost stealing his words away as he leaned on the parapet. 'But the library itself is my real rooftop.'

'I can see why' Darren said and, remembering what Chris had said about his coffee shop, he added, 'It's very you.'

Chris smiled softly. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah. But I like this. I'm all for a good cliché every now and then.'

'You're anything but a cliché' Chris said sincerely. 'You're something else.'

'I choose to take that as a compliment.'

Chris laughed. 'You should.'

They stared out over the city for a while, sipping their coffee and watching the hustle and bustle of a city at lunch until Darren sighed audibly.

'What are you thinking?' Chris asked.

'I'm going back to San Fran in a few days.'

'Isn't that a good thing?'

'Of course! Only...' Darren wondered if he could push, whether it would be too much. He hated this uncertainty. But Chris had shown him his rooftop. It had to mean something. 'I'm going to miss you' he mumbled.

'Nonsense!' Chris cried. 'All those relatives around. You'll hardly notice I'm not there.'

It was a dismissal but a gentle one and Darren could live with that for now. Chris wasn't going to change overnight. It would take time. 'And we'll be back for _Glee_ soon enough' Darren said, reassuring himself.

'And until then we have our rooftops.'

'Indeed' Darren said, neither of them mentioning that for Christmas they would be as far away from their rooftops as they would be each other. 'To rooftops' he held out his coffee.

Chris tapped his own cup against it and echoed him softly.

'To rooftops.'

* * *

><p>Darren didn't realise how much he had needed this, to be surrounded by his family and loved ones, until he was finally home for Christmas. LA would always be the city that made his dreams come true, a city of promise, a city of adventure. But San Francisco would always be the warm and familiar place that welcomed him home.<p>

His dad's famous Goose evening was just as fun as always, feeding the entire neighbourhood with just three geese or so it seemed and Darren suffered the gentle ribbing about his new found success with good grace even when Joey rang him just after _Baby It's Cold Outside_ aired and laughed for about half an hour before Darren even knew what he was laughing about. It felt good to know that his friends were actually watching it and supporting him.

Being home was a mixed blessing though. Chris was like a constant ache in the pit of his stomach. Knowing that it wasn't just a case of hopping in a cab to go see him was making him feel restless and tense. He called him and they talked a few times and Chris seemed so much more relaxed and somehow sweeter when at home with his family, even finishing one phone call with a shy, 'I miss you' that Darren returned way too quickly. But Chris had just laughed and promised to see him soon.

Cora noticed the way he was somehow both brighter and more miserable after these phone calls, picking up on his agitation in the way that only mothers can.

She waited until they were both cutting up vegetables for dinner and Darren let out a small distracted sigh, lost in thought.

'So come on then' she smiled. 'Who are you hiding from me?'

Darren's head jerked up, wide eyed. 'Wh-what?'

'A mother always knows, honey. I think that you are in love. You certainly spend a lot of time sighing like a love sick teenager. Who is it that you are spending so much time talking too?'

And that suddenly presented Darren with a fresh set of problems that he hadn't even considered at first. If anything happened between Chris and himself he would have to come out to his family. To his friends. To his fans. The color must have drained from his face because his mom looked worried.

'It's alright, Darren. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to' she said gently.

'There is someone' he said haltingly.

'Yes?' She looked expectant.

'We're not dating' Darren said slowly. 'I'm not even sure if they feel the way about me that I feel about them. But...' Darren hesitated. He wanted to go on about how funny Chris was, how witty and dorky and oddly sweet at times. He wanted to try and describe Chris' laugh even though words could never hope to do it justice. He wanted to say how hard it was loving this difficult, stubborn man but how the occasional vulnerability that Chris allowed himself to show, the bright, warm way he looked at Darren sometimes made it all worth it. He wanted to day all these things and more but he just wasn't ready yet. '...well they're awesome, anyway' he finished lamely and turned back to the carrots.

'Do they make you happy?' Cora asked.

Darren thought carefully about that, knowing his mom would want an honest answer. But Chris did make him happy. Despite the uncertainty and the anxiety and the confusion. The other stuff made all those things more than worth it.

'Yeah they do' he smiled softly, remembering the previous morning when he and Chris had spent an indecent amount of time arguing about Transformer vs Power Rangers. And he had lain back on his bed just listening to Chris laugh and talk and feeling like there was nothing else he needed except for Chris to actually be there with him, sides pressed together, warm against each other.

Cora noted the look on her son's face and almost felt like she was intruding on something private. 'Well you know what I always tell you, Darren' she said. 'I don't care who you date as long as they make you happy and they treat you right.'

Darren sighed. 'But like I said. We're not dating.'

Cora paused thoughtfully for a moment. 'Do you remember the advice I always give you, Darren? About how to live life.'

Darren looked surprised by the sudden subject change but he nodded. He knew which advice she was referring to, it was something she used to tell him almost every night as a child before going to sleep. 'Of course' he said. 'You can tell a good man from five important qualities. First, he has good family values and knows when he must put his family first. Second, he has loyalty and affection to those he counts as friends. Thirdly, he has a good sense of self worth but tempers it with humility. Forth, he has a healthy respect for his fellow man, even strangers and especially those he disagrees with. And last, he has a warm and giving heart, open to give love and receive love in return.' He recited it word for word, the familiar lines somewhat comforting.

'You are a good man, Darren' his mother said warmly and Darren flushed. 'And let me tell you no one can resist the Criss charm for long.' She glanced out the window at Darren's father who was trying to start a bonfire on the frosty ground and swearing colorfully. She smiled fondly. 'I know I didn't. Just keep your heart open and you are sure to win over those that keep their hearts more carefully guarded.'

There was a short silence and then Darren surged forward, pulling his mom into a hug and giving her a kiss on the cheek. 'Thanks, mom.'

'That's quite alright. You know you can talk to me about anything don't you?' Cora gave her son a searching look.

'Of course' Darren said.

It wasn't until later, lying in bed and reliving the conversation, that he realised that his mom hadn't used a female pronoun once. She knew. He didn't know how but she knew. And it was like a sudden, unexpected weight off his chest. He would still have to tell her officially but it was nice knowing that he had her support, not that he ever considered otherwise.

The rest of the days passed pleasantly enough, catching up his high school friends, playing and writing music with Chuck and then New Years spent with his Starkids. He knew the _Glee_ guys were doing something because Chris had mentioned it and invited him along but Darren still didn't quite feel he belonged there just yet and opted to spend it with his college friends instead.

He was almost reluctant to leave after the calm Winter break but his mom cheerfully sent him off with a new guitar and more Christmas cake than he could possibly hope to eat. Back to LA and back to Chris.


	9. In Which Fifty Can't Outweigh The Three

**A/N**: **Heyy guys. I am very sorry for the delay but I must pull the invalid card at this point because I was in a rather nasty car accident which resulted in me breaking two of my ribs. Or maybe fractured is the word you would say in English, I'm not really sure. So you might think that I now have more time to write. Sadly not the case :P I find it epically hard to concentrate when I've taken my pain killers.**

**Something I was going to mention is that a few people have been sending me songs and things that remind them of this story which I love and I wanted to share the song that actually gave me the idea of the plot. It's a little bit embarrassing but ah well. **

**Love You Anyway by Boyzone. You can look it up in youtube but the important lyrics are:**

_I'm delirious, are you serious?  
>What goes on in your head, I'm just curious.<br>'Cos I'm hanging here, got me danglin' here.  
>Think your love, oh your love has got off my head.<em>

_It's unbelievably hard to love you, but I love you anyway._  
><em>I've been trying too hard not to love you, but I love you anyway.<em>

**OK Bean is shutting up now. Enjoy! **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 9 - In Which The Fifty Can't Outweigh The Three<strong>

'Chris has a very generous spirit. He's been extremely warm and gracious since I arrived, completely set me at ease and given me everything I needed' Darren paused and blushed slightly. 'He's a good guy.'

'Wonderful. And I would like to talk about your character now if I may. Blaine Anderson.' The interviewer prompted.

'I think Blaine is everything that Kurt really wishes he could be at this point. He's openly gay but he's not victimised for it, he appears confident and self assured although Chris and I were...' Darren hesitated again. Should he be mentioning Chris this much? But it was too late to backtrack now. '...talking about how we thought he had a darker past than is let on. But above all he is recognised for his talent as the head of the Warblers.'

'But you're straight aren't you, Darren?' the interviewer asked and Darren sighed.

'Yes it's been said before' he said but with a charming smile that took any irritation out of the words. 'But I don't really believe in labels' he shrugged.

'And what can you hint at for your character in this year's episodes of _Glee_? Will we be seeing some lovin' for a certain Kurt Hummel at last?'

'I honestly couldn't tell you even if I wanted to because I don't know' Darren grinned. He was under the impression that not even Ryan, Ian and Brad really knew what was happening until the very last second. The most recent Super Bowl episode, in which Ryan had written he and Chris in extremely last minute, being a case in point. 'But I can reveal that the Warblers tackle a big girl group number. I think there's something very wonderful about all these dapper private school kids letting loose and having a bit of fun.'

'Oh, and what song is that?'

'Ahh no' Darren laughed. 'You'll have to wait and see!'

Chris sighed and flicked off the TV. _Straight. _The first time Darren had said that he had pretty much shot any hope of the two of them dating in the foot. But that was unfair, Chris mused. Because there was still the whole colleague thing. He had seen people fired over that, seen shows fall apart when relationships grew sour. _Glee_ and the friends, practically the family, he had made there were worth more than a relationship that would undoubtedly one day fail.

Chris was well aware of his own flaws, knew he wasn't exactly prime dating material. He was irrational and stubborn, closed off, distrustful and, while he tried to see the good in everyone, he always expected the worse so it was easier when they inevitably let him down. Darren was wonderful. He had got past Chris' defensive wall of snark and wit and he was sweet and dorky and his eyes fucking lit up whenever Chris entered the room but he wasn't perfect. And Chris was sure that if they ever got together Darren would eventually get tired of all his emotional baggage, the outcry they would face if Darren came out and the pressures of being with each other every hour of the day. It would just be too hard.

All these very sensible thoughts hadn't stopped Chris writing a pros list in Darren's favour with fifty odd items that were so sappy and sentimental he almost ripped up the whole thing. He didn't though, he just pushed it to one side and lay his head on his desk.

Because even those fifty things that Chris really liked about Darren could not outweigh the obvious three.

* * *

><p>'Why is it that whenever you say "we're going out" it always involves alcohol?' Darren asked good naturedly. 'How do you even get away with it? You're underage!'<p>

'I guess most people are prepared to turn a blind eye for the "stars" of _Glee._' Chris made an expansive gesture that encompassed the whole cast who were in various stages of inebriation. He and Darren were leaning against the bar, neither of them too far gone just yet.

'Mmm. So... do you fancy a dance?' Darren smiled at him.

Chris' head snapped round, his eyes suddenly wary and Darren wondered what it was he had done. It had been a little while since he had seen Chris looking so guarded.

'What?' he asked tentatively.

'I saw your most recent interview' Chris said apparently apropos of nothing.

Darren wracked his brains, trying to remember the latest one. As the new kid he had been getting more than his fair share recently. 'The one about the broken fridge?' he tried eventually.

Chris shrugged. 'Maybe. I was more interested in the fact that you were introduced as the "straight voice for LGBT youth."'

Darren winced as if Chris had yelled at him. 'Chris...'

'I'm proud of you' Chris interrupted. 'You've come so far.' He smiled genuinely. 'You're a role model now.'

Darren scrambled to understand what the hell was going on right now. 'Well I don't know about...'

But suddenly Chris was wrapping his arms around him and he forgot what he was going to say. Darren breathed him in for a moment, holding him close. He would never stop being taken aback when Chris instigated affection like this.

'Go and dance with Lea or someone' Chris breathed into his ear and then drew back.

'_What?' _Darren demanded, confused and reached out for him again. But Chris shook his head with a small smile and stumbled away into the crowd.

Darren just stared at the point where he had been swallowed up by bodies for a long moment. He felt like Chris had just broken up with him which was ridiculous for a whole bunch of reasons. But...was that it then? Was that Chris' answer to the question that Darren hadn't quite plucked up the courage to ask yet?

'Well I feel like an idiot' said a voice at his shoulder. Darren almost said _me too_ but he stopped himself and turned to see Ashley examining him curiously. He attempted a smile.

'Why's that?'

'You' Ashley said cryptically.

Darren blinked. 'I'm sorry to hear that I make you feel like an idiot' he said.

Ashley laughed and it was the sort of laugh that was so infectious that Darren couldn't help but grin.

'I can see why he likes you' Ashley said, slapping him on the back. She turned to the bartender, motioning for two shots.

'Who? Who does?' Darren demanded urgently.

'Bottom's up' is all Ashley said, pushing one of the shots towards Darren. Darren sensed that, at this point, obedience was the path of least resistance so he picked up the shot and knocked it back, wincing as the liquid burned down his throat.

'You're Chris' mystery man' Ashley said bluntly and Darren spluttered for a moment.

'Wh-what? Mystery man?'

'You like him' Ashley said.

'You know,' Darren said, once he had got his breath back, 'typically in conversations you actually react to what the other person is saying. Not just say whatever you want.'

Ashley just smiled. 'Snarky. I like it. You do though, don't you?'

'What's it to you?' Darren asked defensively which was pretty much a 'yes.'

'Tricky business, loving Chris Colfer' Ashley said seriously.

'Are you going to tell me to give up now? Because Chris doesn't _do_ relationships, he certainly doesn't do relationships with colleagues and he wouldn't know a good thing if it hit him in the face?'

'Now that's not fair' Ashley chided gently. 'He knows a good thing when he sees it. Why do you think he won't risk _Glee _for anything?'

'Even me' Darren murmured so quietly he wasn't sure Ashley would hear. For a moment she said nothing, just gestured for another two shots. Darren downed his quickly, relishing the kick.

'I wish I could say something to make things OK' Ashley said, sounding surprisingly sincere about that. 'But one, that's not really my style,' she smirked, 'and two, you know I could never tell you anything Chris has told me. But I will say this. Don't give up on him just yet.'

Darren's eyes sought Chris in the crowded room, finding him surprisingly quickly and sighing when he saw some random guy's arms wrapped around him. 'And when _am_ I allowed to give up?' he asked, only half joking.

'Er... nothing easy is worth having?' she tried after a moment.

'And something that's _not_ just a platitude?'

Ashley was silent for a moment while she thought. She probably couldn't tell Darren she was mainly going off a lot of gut instinct. After all, hadn't Chris said _I don't think I love him_? But it was the 'I don't think' that Ashley kept getting stuck on. And the way Chris had softened when he was talking about Darren. And the way he had evaded saying whether he cared about him or not. Ashley knew her friend and she knew that whatever _this_ was it was a big deal.

'Ashley?' Darren prompted quietly.

'Just trust me' she said, almost pleadingly.

Darren just looked at her for a moment. And then he nodded.

* * *

><p>Darren did as he had been told. After downing another two shots of something that burned he went to dance with Lea. She was pretty and nice and had a bright smile and Darren thought they could be friends but he wasn't really listening to her because his eyes were constantly on Chris. Chris and that guy.<p>

'...Fallen for the old Colfer charm, huh?' Lea shouted suddenly.

Darren's head snapped around to find Lea looking at him kindly. For God's sake if he went on like this there wouldn't be a single person in the fucking cast who didn't know about his sad unrequited love of Chris Colfer. He decided to play it safe. 'Huh?'

'I said that guy seems to have fallen for the old Colfer charm, huh?' Lea repeated more loudly and gestured at the man Chris was dancing with.

'Ohh' Darren said, unspeakably relieved. 'The Colfer charm?'

'Yeah. It's Chris. I don't think he even realises he has it but everyone than talks to him for longer than ten minutes falls in love with him. He's just so sweet and genuine.'

'So wait, this is like a thing?' Darren asked, trying to appear casual.

'Oh yeah. I spent the first month of filming scribbling _Mrs Chris Colfer_ in my script margins.'

Darren laughed. 'You did not.'

'I'm afraid so. Of course my dreams of a Spring wedding were cruelly dashed when Chris came out. I suppose I should have known. All the good ones are gay or taken right?'

'So they say' Darren agreed and cast another quick glance Chris' way. He immediately wished he hadn't. He idly wondered how many times he was going to have to watch Chris making out with random guys before it stopped making him feel like this.

'So which are you?' Lea asked and it took Darren a second to actually remember what they were talking about.

'You think I'm one of the good ones?' he asked, surprised.

'You seem a perfectly charming guy to me.'

Darren laughed. 'Just wait. It's all just an elaborate cover for the complete goofball idiot I am.'

'Hmm' Lea just smiled.

'What?'

'There's going to be a lot of girls with broken hearts over you' she said seriously. 'If I wasn't taken I would snap you up myself. Alas...' she trailed off with a mock sigh and Darren just shook his head in amusement. He knew Lea loved her boyfriend.

'Maybe a little bit of both' he said abruptly. He hoped she would understand. He didn't really want to try and explain that he was both a little bit gay and a little bit taken. It didn't really make sense even to him.

But Lea just cocked her head and smiled at him as if she did understand. 'We're going to be friends, you and I' she declared suddenly. 'And to make this friendship official we're going to need...'

'Do I have no say in this?' Darren laughed.

Lea looked at him like he was an idiot. 'Of course not!'

Darren smiled again. She actually reminded him of Chris in a way. 'Just checking.'

'As I was saying. We're going to need alcohol.' She held out her hand. 'To the bar!'

'To the bar!' Darren echoed and took her hand.

* * *

><p>It was wrong, Chris thought. Was it the angle? He tilted his head, deepening the kiss. The guy, Liam, moaned into his mouth and pulled him closer. But no. It still felt weird. He tried nipping a bit at Liam's lips, prompting the kiss to get rougher which is normally what he liked. But it was doing nothing for him now. Was it the height difference then? Liam was too tall. Definitely too tall. Chris preferred his men to be a little shorter. A bit like...<p>

Chris stumbled back abruptly. 'Shit shit shit' he muttered almost without realising.

'What?' Liam said, fisting his hands into Chris' shirt and pulling him in again.

'Nothing.' Chris shook his head and leaned back in, letting their lips meet. Certainly nothing to do with a certain curly haired, hazel eyed asshole who seemed intent on making Chris' life miserable even if he wasn't there and was probably off dancing with Lea or holding her hand or whatever. Not that Chris cared.

No it was probably more to do with the fact that Liam seemed keen for them to have sex in a public restroom and yeah maybe Chris took the occasional guy home or to their home or wherever but he had never quite got to the point that he was having sex in actual toilets. That just didn't seem sanitary. He was standing in a puddle of... something. Definitely something that he didn't want to examine too closely. How could anyone get in the mood in here?

Liam's hands were inching down and Chris knew he would have to probably put a stop to this before the only thing Liam found was just exactly how uninterested he was. He sighed and stepped back.

'Sorry, man' he said. 'Not happening.'

Liam's face soured when he realised what Chris meant. 'Why the hell not? What kind of cock tease gets a guy all worked up and then doesn't deliver?'

'This kind of cock tease' Chris shrugged, uncaring and made to leave. Liam slammed a hand against the door.

'_Seriously_?' he demanded. 'Why would you come in here with me then?'

Chris assessed the situation. He wasn't scared. Not yet anyway. Liam was irritated but Chris was fairly confident that he wasn't yet dangerous or too threatening. But he still felt a lie was probably the best way to get out of this.

'Well you were so hot that you made me forget my doctor's orders. No sex for two weeks or at least until the discoloration and pus has gone away. Still contagious, see? But you're right. I wouldn't want to leave you high and dry so we can risk it if you like?'

Liam recoiled so fast he almost smacked his head against the cubicle wall. It took all of Chris' self control to keep his face carefully open and innocent and not let himself laugh.

'No er... I mean I suppose under the circumstances...' Liam mumbled. 'Just go.'

'If you insist' Chris trilled and practically skipped out of the cubicle, grinning like an idiot and almost smacked straight into Darren.

'Oh, hey Dare' he said a little awkwardly.

'Chris' Darren said and his face remained carefully expressionless as he watched Liam slip out of the cubicle Chris had just exited. 'Having fun?'

Chris shrugged. 'Probably going to head home actually. Want to share a cab?' Chris was sort of keen to show Darren exactly how much he didn't care about what this looked like. He could just put Darren straight but what would be the point? Chris had had the intention of doing it which much amounted to the same thing. And what was he going to say? _Oh I didn't actually fuck that guy because he wasn't you_. Yeah, couldn't even really foresee how that would go down.

'No I'm going back to Lea's' Darren said stiffly.

'Oh' Chris said. 'Well ok then. Have fun.'

'I will.'

'Good.'

'Good.'

'OK then.'

Abruptly Darren grinned and Chris breathed a sigh of relief at the sight of it.

'Chris Colfer, what am I going to do with you?'

'Nothing that other people haven't already tried, I'm sure.'

Darren hesitated. 'We've got the studio tomorrow right? Wanna hang out afterwards?'

'_You've_ got the studio' Chris corrected gently. 'I think Kurt spends the entirety of _When I Get You Alone_ sulking.'

'I know how that goes' Darren said before he can stop himself. 'Can I come over after then?'

Chris' first instinct is to say no. No no no. His whole brain is screaming at him just to say no. But what he told Ashley was right. He _is_ selfish. He would rather keep Darren as a friend even if it wasn't good for Darren, wasn't good for _either_ of them really.

'I suppose so' is what he said eventually. 'Drop me a text when you're on your way. But now I really must go. Have fun with Lea. Don't do anything I wouldn't do' he winked.

'That leaves me with quite a few options then' Darren teased.

'Not really' Chris said, half way to the door. 'If you consider that I wouldn't sleep with a girl.' He smiled sweetly. 'Goodnight, Darren.'

* * *

><p>'Oh God, what's that?' Chris asked, eyeing the bags of shopping Darren had bought with him.<p>

'It's food! We're going to cook. Or at least we're going to try. Because I don't know about you but I am mainly limited to hot pockets.'

'So you thought the best dry run for your crazy food experiments was in _my_ kitchen?' Chris asked but couldn't quite bring himself to be mad. Darren was practically brimming over with puppy like excitement.

'I thought it was best I had supervision' Darren admitted cheerfully.

'Come on then' Chris sighed, taking some of the bags and leading the way to the kitchen.

It didn't go too badly. Either Darren was more skilled than he had let on or he was just a fast learner because under Chris' watchful eye they made a fairly simple but tasty chicken pasta dish. They moved around the kitchen like they had been doing this for years. A hand on a hip was the only signal it took to get the other to move out of their way and free up access to cupboards or drawers. They divided up the jobs without discussion. Darren taking the chicken to cut up and mutely communicating to Chris that he needed Chris to turn to tap on for him unless he wanted it covered in chicken gunk. And Darren merely had to hold out a hand before Chris put a salt shaker in it, earning that special adoring smile of Darren's that Chris both dreaded and yearned for in equal measure.

Chatter was quiet and contented, both as they cooked and when they sat down to eat.

'So how did it go today?' Chris asked.

'Wasn't the same without you there' Darren said without hesitation.

Chris ducked his head and flushed adorably. 'You can't just say things like that' he said quietly.

'Why not?' Darren asked. 'It's the truth.'

Chris just shook his head and Darren sought for a subject change.

'You know, this is pretty fucking delicious but what I have for dessert is even better.'

'Yeah?' Chris looked a little wary. Part of him was terrified it was going to be cake. Definitely not something he wanted to deal with and he sort of hated Darren for ruining cake for him forever.

'Ice cream' Darren beamed. 'Of the Ben and Jerry's variety. Also a movie. X-Men.'

'I approve' Chris said. 'Which X-Men is it?'

'It's the Wolverine one. You know? X-Men: Origins.'

Chris pulled a face. '_Wolverine_. Ah man.'

'_What?_ He's Wolverine, man. No one hates Wolverine.'

'Wolverine is overrated' Chris said dismissively. 'Geez, give a guy near immortality and some adamantium claws and he thinks he's all that.'

'He _is_ all that. The way he battles his own animal instincts that seek to come out, his fierce protectiveness of the ones he loves and he's a free agent but he always come home to the X-Men when they need him.' Darren was in full on fan boy mode. 'He loathes that part of himself that degenerates into berserker rage and has even expressed distaste for killing. He has this strong moral code that...'

'He's a gruff loner with an attitude problem' Chris interrupted. 'Although I have to admire his healthy lack of respect for authority.'

Darren looked affronted and then he smiled slyly, changing tack. 'Oh come on Chris. Everyone has a crush on Hugh Jackman. Even straight guys and lesbians. All those muscles.'

'Well that's bullshit for a start' Chris said but he was smiling.

Darren nudged him under the table with his foot. 'You do, don't you? Admit it.'

'It sounds like _you_ have more of a crush on him than I do' Chris said, refusing to be baited.

'And proud' Darren grinned. 'But OK, fine. Who's your favorite?'

'Kitty Pryde' Chris said instantly.

'Kitty Pryde?' Darren repeated incredulously. 'Her power is boring. No one thinks phasing is cool.'

'I do' Chris said stubbornly. 'Anyway it's not about that. She's... almost normal. She could be. She's just a normal person turned superhero. And she doesn't let that change her. She's wilful and creative and loyal.'

Darren gave him that soft look again that made him blush. 'Sounds like someone I know' Darren said thoughtfully.

'Does it?' Chris said vaguely, deliberately missing the point.

'Phasing is still a boring power though' Darren said.

Chris took a deep breath. 'Alright, Criss. It is so on.'

* * *

><p>It was almost two hours later when they finally abandoned Chris' vast collection of X-Men comics. Someone said something about Cyclops saying this that or the other in issue whichever, which sparked off an argument that could only be solved by digging out the comics. They forgot the argument almost immediately, getting caught up in old stories that they had loved all through their childhoods and adolescence, reading bits out to each other or otherwise sitting and reading in companionable silence until Darren got a craving for ice cream and they left the comics to watch the movie instead.<p>

Chris carefully sat himself a suitable distance from Darren on the couch. Friends didn't cuddle while watching films. Apparently Darren didn't get that memo though because he immediately scooted over and snuggled into Chris' side. Chris strongly considered shoving him away and Darren evidently felt the tension in his body because he said,

'Oh sorry. Does it bother you? I'm a theatre kid. Old habits die hard you know? Especially when I'm missing my Starkids. Which I am. Missing them that is.' He blinked up at Chris with appealing eyes.

'You're an asshole' Chris said because he would have to be heartless to push Darren away after that. But he took any sting out of his words by wrapping an arm around him and letting his fingers find their familiar place in the curls at the nape of Darren's neck, playing with them gently.

Darren only lasted about twenty minutes before he fell asleep. Chris rolled his eyes, Darren was the one that wanted to watch this stupid movie after all, but he just shifted so that Darren was settled more comfortably against him.

He found himself watching Darren more that he watched the movie. Wolverine sucked anyway but Darren was oddly compelling to watch. He was such an energetic person it was almost weird to see him almost completely still and peaceful.

Chris felt so comfortable, full and sated with a warm body pressed against him. He had the dangerous thought that it felt right, that he could get used to this.

He heaved a sigh. 'Why are you doing this?' he murmured into Darren's hair. 'You're making it so hard to not want you.' He spoke so quietly that even if Darren had been awake he would have been hard pushed to hear Chris' words.

Darren shifted slightly in his sleep, pressing his head to Chris' chest and sighing contentedly. Chris suddenly felt smothered, the desperate need to run, to get out of there, almost overwhelming him. But this was _his_ apartment. He couldn't just leave a note and fuck off like he so desperately wanted to. And if he moved he would wake Darren for sure.

So he stayed and he settled and he allowed the sound of Darren's steady breathing and the heat of his body lull him to sleep.


	10. In Which Chris Has Never Been In Love

**A/N: Heyy. Angst in this chapter. I think there will probably be maybe two more chapters. We shall see. As usual much love for the reviews. I adore you all. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 10 – In Which Chris Has Never Been In Love (And Never Wants To Be)<strong>

'Hey, sleepy head.'

Chris woke to a soft voice and a tender hand stroking his cheek, gently nudging him into wakefulness. He blinked his eyes open and saw Darren looking down at him with that warm, adoring smile that he always only seemed a second away from giving him.

'Hey' Chris muttered and was so close to just leaning up and brushing a good morning kiss to Darren's jaw that, when he realised what he was about to do, he jolted back so hard that only Darren's hold on him stopped him falling off the couch.

'Oh sorry! I didn't mean to scare you.'

'What are you doing here?' Chris demanded when his heart rate had settled slightly and he sat up, putting a decent distance between him and Darren.

Darren's face fell and Chris felt a tinge of guilt, quickly swept away.

'I... we fell asleep. Sorry. You could have just kicked me out you know?'

'Didn't want to wake you' Chris muttered. Which was partly true. He didn't want to wake Darren while he was freaking out because Darren would have caught it in his face immediately and he probably would have wanted to _talk_ about it. Because Darren was an asshole like that.

'Well er... we have to... I mean we have the Gap scene today. I let you sleep as long as possible but I figured you would want a shower and stuff so...'

'You saying I smell, Criss?' Chris grumbled playfully, mainly on autopilot.

'Fucking terrible. So go and have a shower' Darren shoved him, grinning broadly.

'What about you?'

'Oh I guess I'll just head home and grab a quick shower and a change of clothes...' Darren trailed off and looked at Chris hopefully as if he wanted Chris to tell him to stay and get a shower there and borrow some clothes. But Chris just shrugged.

'OK. See you there?'

Darren sighed. 'Sure. See ya.'

* * *

><p>Darren arrived a little on the late side but not so late that he would have to suffer Murphy's wrath. They had practised the choreography in the dance studio with Zach but Darren was uncertain how it was going to fit in around the shop floor. He figured he would check in with Zach after he found Chris.<p>

'Hey' he waved a cheery greeting to some of his fellow Warblers who were huddled next to the catering van, trying to get warm in the chill January air.

'Hey, Dare' Riker said cheerfully. 'Want some coffee?'

'Would love some' Darren said. 'It was a rough night.'

Several eyebrows went up at that statement.

'I spent it on a couch' Darren tried to explain. 'Everything hurts.'

'Why?' Curt asked.

'Because couches just weren't designed to be slept on I guess. There wasn't enough room and I was angled all weird and...'

'Not why do you hurt' Curt interrupted impatiently. 'Why did you sleep on a couch?'

'Oh... I crashed at Chris'.'

'And everything hurts?' Curt repeated with a slight laugh in his voice.

More eyebrows went up and a guy that Darren wasn't even sure of the name of made a crude gesture.

'Oh come on. I spent it on his _couch_. Surely that tells you what you need to know' Darren said defensively. The fact that they had both been on the couch wasn't important.

The guys just stared back at him.

'Oh grow up' Darren snapped, uncharacteristically grumpy. 'Where _is_ Chris anyway?'

For a moment it seemed that he was only going to be subjected to more judgemental stares but then Riker shuffled forward, handing Darren his coffee and looking almost apologetic.

'He's chatting up the new guy.' He pointed and Darren turned to see Chris laughing with Alexander, the guy who was playing Jeremiah.

'Nonsense' Darren said weakly. 'He's just being friendly.'

Although he had to admit it looked fairly intimate, especially when Alex reached out and gently tugged Chris' scarf straight for him. Chris smiled and blushed a little bit and Darren frowned.

'Thanks for the coffee' he said and then he strode off.

The Warblers waited until he was out of earshot before all reaching into their pockets.

'I'm putting ten dollars on Darren punching Alex before the day is out.'

'You're on! I reckon it would take quite a bit to make Darren lose his temper.'

'I want to put five on Chris punching one of them.'

'Why would Chris punch either of them? In fact I literally can't picture Chris punching _anyone_.'

A shrug. 'Hence why I should get excellent odds on that. But Chris is a ninja remember. In a fight I would want him on my side.'

'Well I'm putting ten on no one punching anyone.'

'What? No punching? Boring.'

'Ah damn. I only have a twenty. Ah well I'll go for it. Because I reckon Chris will take Alex home.'

'Seriously?'

'Yeah Chris is kind of a...'

'I'd be careful how I finished that sentence if I were you. And I'll take that bet. Chris is just as crazy about Darren as Darren is about Chris.'

'Really? He doesn't show it.'

'Trust me. He just hides it better.'

'Yeah well a blind man could see that Darren is in love with Chris.'

Nods all round and then they turned as one to look over at Darren who had muscled himself into the conversation. Chris seemed faintly amused and Alex just looked bemused at the clearly possessive arm that Darren slung around Chris' waist.

'Poor Darren' Riker said.

More nods and several echoes of his words.

Titus just shrugged. 'I still hope someone gets punched.'

* * *

><p>'Hey Chris!' Darren called cheerfully. He handed Chris the coffee and, without really thinking about it, he slid his arm around Chris' narrows hips and pulled him close. He wasn't quite at the angle where he could just play it off as some weird side hug so he just left his arm there, feeling like an idiot. Chris didn't return the gesture but he didn't move away either so Darren took it as a half win.<p>

'And you must be Alexander' he said politely, holding out his free hand to the other man. 'I'm Darren.'

'Alex' Alex replied warmly and took his hand. 'I was just telling Chris here I'm a bit of a fan' he flushed a little and it was so fucking endearing that Darren was tempted to punch him in the chin. His hand twitched and he let it fist into the material of Chris' coat.

'Well I hope you enjoy my serenade' he grinned. 'I am so pumped about singing some Robin Thicke.'

'Even if it _is_ wildly inappropriate for a school aged kid to be singing in a public place' Chris said drily, speaking for the first time.

'Yes as I understand it, I mainly have to exhibit horror and confusion and watch hopelessly as you out me to my entire workplace and a good dozen or so random strangers.'

'Alex. Just with the hair. I think they already knew' Chris joked and Alex laughed like it was the funniest thing he's ever heard. Darren scowled. _Asshole. And he does have stupid hair._

Alex seemed to catch something of the looks that Darren was casting him because he frowned a little.

'Are you two like... together or...?' he asked tentatively.

'No' Chris said instantly and he did move away then and Darren's arm dropped uselessly to his side. 'We're just friends and Darren is a theatre kid. Very touchy feely so I understand.'

'I see.' Alex raised his eyebrows. Darren kept his face carefully expressionless but nodded once at a prompting glare from Chris.

'Just friends' he said dully. 'Well I have to go and find Zach. I have some questions about the choreography.'

'Oh I'll come with you' Chris said and Darren brightened instantly. It was like the sun coming out on a cloudy day, his grin practically blinding. Chris seemed totally oblivious to his instant effect on Darren's mood. 'I have a few questions as well.'

'Later, _Alex_' Darren said, only just hiding his sneer.

'Bye, Darren' Alex responded, looking mildly confused. 'See you later, Chris?'

Chris threw a smile over his shoulder. 'Sure thing.'

Darren swore under his breath.

* * *

><p>Darren knew he was acting like a total idiot. And maybe knowing <em>was<em> half the battle and all that but it certainly wasn't helping _him_. Intellectually he knew that Chris was acting with Alex as he did with any new people he met. Bright and friendly, witty as fuck, always keeping the conversation on the other person which came across as interested and attentive rather than evasive. _Intellectually_ he knew that. But love was never exactly a rational thing and any time the two were even in the near vicinity of each other he felt an irrational wave of possessive jealousy. It wasn't like he had any claim on Chris whatsoever. Chris had made that clear on several occasions now and Darren was starting to wonder if he had just imagined any affection on Chris' side.

It didn't stop him from stealing Chris' attention when he could with about as much subtlety as a freight train. He felt like Chris was mainly humouring him but they did spend their lunch hour with some of the other guys putting the mannequins into completely inappropriate positions while Alex was who cared where. Their escapades did earn them a few stern, if amused words from one of their handlers but seeing Chris nearly breathless with laughter had made the whole thing more than worth it in Darren's opinion.

And luckily the same level of eye fucking didn't seem required for this song as when they had filmed _Baby It's Cold Outside_. So Darren just allowed himself to get lost in the music, he really was giddy excited to be able to sing some Robin Thicke, and messed around on the shop floor with his friends and tried to put it from his mind. But he couldn't deny how much he loved the bordering on disgusted looks that Chris gave Alex when they did their short scene in front of the shop even if he knew it was really Kurt and Jeremiah.

Evening had well and truly drawn in by the time an end was called to filming. The inner shop scene had taken a very long time to put together to the point that Darren was concerned that a second shooting day would be called. But eventually Ryan declared himself satisfied and they were sent home.

Darren turned, half intending to ask Riker, Curt and Chris if they wanted to grab a bite to eat but then he spotted Chris across the lot. He couldn't hear the quiet conversation between Chris and Alex but when Chris turned and walked to his car he heard the shout of 'You can follow me there!' that he sent over his shoulder. And Alex's answering affirmation.

Behind his back money started changing hands in a flurry but not even the people that benefited from it could be happy about their wins when looking at the dejected slump of Darren's shoulders.

'Hey Dare' Curt said tentatively, stepping forward and putting a hand on his shoulder. 'Do you want to go and get dinner?'

'Nah' Darren said without turning. 'Sorry. I have plans.'

If plans was ice cream and beer and _I Love Lucy_ reruns.

* * *

><p>Call Chris naive but he really hadn't expected to find himself pressed into the wall by a very horny Alex. His offer of giving his agent's details to Alex had been a genuine one. And as he didn't have them to hand, it made sense for Alex to just come back to his apartment to get them.<p>

Apparently Alex thought that was all just some elaborate code for sex though. One of these days Chris was going to have to talk to people about their stupid metaphors. Why couldn't people just call things what they were? Like fucking. That was something he could understand.

As Alex's lips made their way down Chris' throat, he momentarily thought about protesting. But it had been way too long since he had had sex. Not since Darren in fact, which wasn't really something he wanted to be thinking about.

He made a sound close to a growl and shoved, turning them so that Alex was pressed hard against the wall, hands pinned above his head. Despite having the weight advantage, Alex let it happen and grinned at him.

'What are you going to do to me, Colfer?'

'I'm going to make you scream' Chris promised in a filthy whisper.

Alex shuddered. 'I look forward to it.'

* * *

><p>'I am such a terrible person' Chris wailed, brushing past Ashley and into her house the moment she opened the door.<p>

'Come in' Ashley said drily to the empty porch and shut the door. 'Not that I'm disagreeing with you or anything but what have you done this time.'

She walked into the lounge to find Chris already in his customary spot, draped over the couch and looking the very picture of a tragic hero.

'Why did I do it?' Chris said nonsensically. 'I'm such a dick. In my defence I didn't know what was going to happen. Or not happen. But I should have realised what it would look like to Darren. That's twice I've literally shoved the fact that I'm having sex with men that aren't him right in his face. Or well not sex. But he doesn't know that, you know?'

'I literally do not' Ashley said and squeezed into the tiny bit of space that he had left her on the sofa. 'Is this about that Liam guy still? Why don't you just tell Darren you didn't fuck him if it's bothering you so much?'

'Wait' Chris said suddenly, sitting up and looking horrified. 'Shit. I said Darren. But... you don't seem surprised.'

Ashley shrugged. 'I worked it out.' She almost said '_Have you seen the way he looks at you?'_ but she stopped herself.

'Oh.' Chris looked like he was unsure whether he should be upset by this development or not. 'I suppose that makes things easier. And no, it's not really about Liam. It's Alexander.'

'The guy playing Jeremiah?' Ashley asked after a moment wracking her brain for the name. 'You had sex with him?' she demanded incredulously.

'Well er... we engaged in... there was um... I think he probably expected there to be sex. But I er... well I just wasn't really... I didn't really feel...'

'You couldn't get it up' Ashley said bluntly and Chris went scarlet.

'That's neither here nor there' he said weakly. 'The point is we didn't have sex.'

'But Darren thinks you did?'

'He might possibly have got that impression, yes.'

'And you care?' Ashley asked carefully. 'I thought you and Darren weren't...'

'We're not! And I don't care. Just... it's kind of heartless isn't it? I mean I know he thinks he's got a bit of a crush on me so I maybe shouldn't...' Chris trailed off, not even sure what he was saying.

'Chris that boy is crazy about you. Why can't you see...?'

'Well it doesn't really matter either way. Because it's never going to happen' Chris interrupted.

Ashley shook her head in frustration. 'You like him. Otherwise you would just have had hot remorseless gay sex with those other guys like you normally would but instead you're here on my couch calling yourself a terrible person.'

'Of course I _like_ him. Lord _Voldemort _would fucking _like_ him. He's like pure charisma wrapped up in this cheerful, goofy, good looking package. But that doesn't mean I want to marry him and have lots of sex and babies, even ignoring the fact that that is biologically impossible.'

'Colfer' Ashley said in the warning tone that Chris had come to know as trouble. And then she visibly softened, seemingly deciding to take a different tack. 'It's just me here.'

Chris sighed and drew up his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them in a clearly defensive gesture. Another time Ashley might have sniped about feet on her furniture but she let it slide for now.

'He blindsided me' Chris admitted quietly to his knees. Ashley just nodded like she knew what he was talking about. 'Darren. He came out of nowhere and I thought I would never see him again. He's not my usual type. I mean when I think about Charlie...'

Ashley's jaw tightened at the name of the idiot that had caused so much damage. But it wasn't Charlie's fault. Not really. He was a good guy who had done nothing but love Chris. Which had made things so much worse.

'...he was very solid. Thoughtful and calm and sweet. Never took risks. Almost shy.'

'He's like the anti-Darren' Ashley commented and Chris nodded.

'I mean that's not even taking their very diverse looks into account. But maybe...' Chris looked like his next sentence was physically painful for him. 'Maybe "not Charlie" is exactly what I need. And... what I _want_.'

'It's OK to want things, Chris' Ashley said.

'I know. But don't you see? It makes things worse!'

'What? How is it worse? Darren adores you and you like him so...'

'So it will hurt all the more when he leaves' Chris snapped.

Ashley blinked. 'You... How can you possibly know that he will leave, Chris? Why won't you ever give people a chance?' She was getting mad, in the way you could only get mad when people you loved were being epically frustrating.

'He will' Chris said with such deadly certainty that it broke Ashley's heart. 'And that's not even the only reason it will never work out.'

'Chris...'

'I have to go. Studio time. Thanks.' He was already halfway to the door when he half turned. 'Love you, Ashley.'

Ashley sighed and muttered her response to the already closing front door. 'I love you too, boo. But not nearly as much as Darren does.'

* * *

><p>Ashley sort of hoped that Chris would take their conversation to heart a little but she had entirely underestimated his stubbornness and overwhelming stupidity. The only difference in his behaviour that she could see was the exact opposite of what she hoped for. He spent less time with Darren than ever and seemed to end every night they went out with a drunken man attached to his face.<p>

'You have to admire that boy's ability to pull' Mark said, looking impressed. 'Mind you, if I was gay I totally would. Wouldn't you?'

Darren just groaned and reached for another drink.

Chris meanwhile, was labouring under the misapprehension that having sex with someone else would spontaneously make everything he felt about Darren go away. If he could just get past his apparent aversion to letting anyone that wasn't Darren touch him that is.

Kissing was easy. He could fake kissing. But the minute the other guy wanted any more than that he got instantly uncomfortable and had to push them away, make an excuse and get the hell out of there.

Eventually he found someone who looked enough like Darren that he could pretend if he didn't think too hard and fucked him into the mattress face down and came with Darren's name on his lips. He felt so guilty and horrible afterwards that he thought he was going to throw up.

And all the while Darren just watched him throwing himself at any guy who looked his way with wounded eyes.

* * *

><p>'Oh hey.' Darren's greeting was decidedly less enthusiastic than it normally was. And he was surprised to see that Chris looked almost edgy, nervous. A look that was almost foreign to his normally confident features.<p>

'Hi, Darren.' Chris said, barely looking at Darren and folding his arms around himself.

'Are you OK?' Darren asked, deciding to let go of his own childish resentment and give way to concern. He approached Chris carefully, like one would approach a startled horse.

It was just a touch. His hand wide and solid on the small of Chris' back but Chris relaxed immediately, the tension visibly draining from his body. 'I'm... I'm fine. Yeah. Thanks.'

'You're not fine' Darren insisted, shifting so that his arm was comfortably around Chris' waist rather than just a touch. The fact that Chris was not fine was very much confirmed when Chris practically melted into him, burrowing his face into Darren's shoulder and slipping his own arms around Darren in return.

'You never let it go, do you?' Chris mumbled but he didn't sound mad.

'Not when someone I care about is hurting' Darren said simply and he nuzzled into Chris' hair.

'You care about me' Chris said in wonder, voice pitched low and not quite a question. More like it was something he knew but couldn't believe.

'Of course' Darren said. 'You're one of my best friends.'

'Poor you' Chris said with a ghost of his usual sarcasm. 'What did you do in a past life to deserve that?'

'Something pretty good I reckon.'

They stood there for a little while just quiet and wrapped around each other until the bang of the door and the steady thrum of voices announced the arrival of the Warblers.

Chris pulled away immediately, running a distracted hand through his hair.

'Are you hungry?' Darren asked and Chris blinked at the unexpected question.

'I could eat' he said carefully.

'Come back to mine after this?' Darren's voice was tentative with a note of pleading. He expected a no. Chris always said no these days.

'And you cook? I think I'd rather go hungry.'

Darren laughed but inside he desperately didn't want Chris to slip away. 'We'll order take out. Your choice.'

Chris looked torn for a long minute, biting his lip. And then he finally nodded.

* * *

><p>'Pizza and beer is just what is needed after a hard week' Darren said contentedly, resting is head back on the couch cushion and closing his eyes.<p>

'Mmm' Chris said vaguely, taking a long gulp of his own beer.

Darren didn't mind the lack of response. Chris had been very quiet all evening but Darren was just thankful for his company.

'So do you want to talk about it?' he said.

'Not really' Chris said. 'I did something dumb that I instantly regretted. Now I hate myself. Not much more to say.'

'You're very hard on yourself' Darren said gently, briefly pressing his side against Chris'.

'I have to be' Chris said seriously. 'Sometimes I feel like the whole world is watching and waiting for me to screw up. That somehow I'm representative for all young gay people just because of my sexuality and my profile. I have to be hard on myself because I can't screw up ever. But I do. All the time. I'm fucking twenty. I don't know what people expect from me.' Chris sighed. 'Sorry.' He shook the beer bottle slightly. 'Beer makes me fretful.'

'Don't be sorry' Darren breathed. 'I can't pretend to know how you feel. Because you're like a fucking icon. But I worry too. That I can't be the same Darren that my old fans came to expect because I'm so much more in the spotlight now. It just can't ever be the same. And I don't want them to think I'm changed because I still love them just as much. Where would I be without them?'

'Any fans that give up on you because you're living your dream aren't very good fans' Chris pointed out. 'Besides you have a whole bunch of new fans now with different expectations of you. You can't fulfil them all. You'd go mad.'

'Well there you go, Colfer. Sounds like something you need to think about too.'

Chris shrugged. 'I was never good at taking my own advice.'

'So what did you do that was so horrible?'

Chris shook his head. 'More beer' he said thickly and got up to go and get them some. 'Put a movie on.'

Darren took that as 'talk time over' so he was surprised when, after Chris handed him the beer, he actually answered Darren's question.

'I had sex with someone and... I just feel like it was a mistake. I didn't feel good about it.'

Darren went cold. 'Wh-'

'Not you!' Chris rushed to reassure him, somehow reading his thoughts.

'Oh' Darren relaxed and then scowled thinking about all the men he was pretty sure Chris had slept with over the last month. It was a pretty sizeable list. 'Who then?'

Chris took a few more long swallows of his beer as if stealing himself. But his answer was disappointing.

'Just a guy.'

'But-'

'Movie' Chris insisted.

Darren sighed. 'Fine. _Shrek _one or two?'

Chris groaned.

* * *

><p>'He just loves her so much' Darren said, his eyes wide and sparkling like he was about to start sobbing.<p>

'Seriously Darren? It's _Shrek_. Come on.'

'It's the beer' Darren admitted. 'I may have had too much.'

'Me too' Chris said. His head was a little hazy.

'But it's like. She loved him even though she's a princess and he's an ogre. And he loved her even though well... he hates _everyone_. It's just so _beautiful_.'

'Oh my God! Remind me never to give you beer again.'

'Oh come on Chris. Haven't you ever been in love?' Darren sighed. It was a throwaway question. He hadn't actually expected an answer from it but Chris looked thoughtful.

'I thought I was once' Chris said quietly and Darren's head snapped around to face him. 'But I think I just wanted to be so much, you know? I liked that someone wanted me. _Me_. No one else. I didn't love him and I think he knew that. Because he did love me and he couldn't handle that I didn't feel the same. But I would quite happily have stayed in that relationship. Which just goes to show you that love is what tears relationships apart. It's wanting too much, needing another person too much. I can't see how that's helpful. I never want to fall in love.'

Darren was pretty sure he was gaping like an idiot but he couldn't stop himself. 'But... why? Being in love is...' He thought of Chris and how whenever he was with him he felt warm and content like he was slipping on an old favorite winter coat. He thought about how he would do anything to see Chris' blinding smile, how his laugh had become his favorite sound. How Chris' arms felt like the safest and most comfortable place in the world. How every touch, every soft look from Chris sent goosepumps creeping across his skin and a twist of uncontrollable heat in his stomach. 'A little messy I'll admit. But it's wonderful all the same.'

'Is it?' Chris demanded. 'Let's look at the facts shall we?'

Darren swallowed nervously. This wasn't really going the way he had envisaged. 'Ok.'

'You have to be completely vulnerable with another person. And I may not have been in love but I know that people in love will do nearly anything for the person they're in love with. I don't like the idea of someone having that much control over me. Or knowing everything about me.

'And then you get the jealousy and the mistrust. The unavoidable doubting of your own self worth. It suddenly becomes about whether you are good enough for another person and not whether you are good enough for yourself. People change themselves to fit with what they think the other person wants. Stuff like that is poison to relationships.

'And... the more you love someone the more it hurts when the relationship inevitably falls apart. Because relationships do. People get bored or angry or disillusioned and they leave.'

'I'm sorry' Darren whispered into the sudden silence.

'What? Why?' Chris asked and he didn't realise how close Darren had become until Darren's hand found his and threaded their fingers together.

'I'm sorry you feel that way. Because I _have_ been in love. And I've had my heart broken. And it fucking hurts. There's no denying it hurts. But you pick yourself up and you move on and you find someone else. Someone so wonderful and amazing that you can't understand why you were so cut up about that other person.

'And being in love is like this giddy headlong rush and even if you know you're going to hit something solid eventually you can't stop. Because it's intoxicating. You want to be with that person all the time and yeah you want to make them happy. Because seeing them smile lights up your whole fucking day.

'Being in love is more than just finding something else to be insecure about. It's a person that makes you feel like you can do anything if you have their support. It's someone you can sit and do nothing with because even silence is comfortable when they're around. It's not feeling lonely because you know that even if they are not there with you, there is someone that is thinking about you, someone that wishes they were with you. It's indescribable. Its heat and happiness and dizziness and safety.

'I think you are looking for someone perfect Chris. Someone that will never hurt you and never get it wrong. But that's impossible. People get things wrong. You just have to find someone that's worth that. Someone that will fight for you again and again. If you let me Chris...'

'No' Chris' voice was quiet and firm. 'Don't say it please.'

Darren ignored him. He was on a roll and nothing could stop him now. 'If you let me, I want to be that person for you. I can't promise that I will never hurt you. But I can promise that I will try. And I will fight for you every single time. Because I love you.'

_No you don't_ is Chris' instant defensive reaction to those words. He would do anything to go back and stop Darren saying them. Because now it's all laid out and now he's actually going to have to make a choice. How had beer and _Shrek_ gone so horribly wrong?

'You barely know me' he said instead, stalling for time.

'I know enough' Darren insisted. 'I have never felt this way about _anyone_ before. Guy _or_ girl. It was like I was just waiting for you to drunkenly stumble into my life. And I knew it meant something that we ended up together. It should have been a one night stand. That's it, no questions asked. But we found our way back to each other.'

'Darren... it just can't... I mean we work together. It would just get too messy. If things were different...'

'That is bullshit and you know it. Before, I was just some guy you met in a bar. I felt it even back then and I _know_ you felt something too. But you still didn't leave your number, you didn't stay. It's nothing about working together. You're just scared.'

Chris shook his head mutely but not like he disagreed, more just like he couldn't believe Darren had called him out on it. 'It will be hard' he muttered.

Darren almost smiled when he remembered Ashley's words to him. 'Nothing easy is worth having.'

'And you think _I'm_ worth it, do you?' Chris said, disbelief written all over his face.

Darren actually laughed. 'Chris Colfer you are the most frustrating man I have ever met. I have to just take it when you push me away and keep me at arm's length and watch as you throw yourself at guys that are nowhere near worthy of you.' Darren scowled, thinking about the men that got to see Chris the way he had. Laid out, naked and beautiful. A wave of possessiveness coiled up in his chest, tight and unwanted. He tried to shake the feeling. 'And yet whenever I am with you I can't care about any of that stuff. You are so gorgeous and I feel like you are literally a missing part of me. Everything feels wrong when you aren't there.'

Chris just stared at him, so soft and warm and open in a way he so rarely was. And Darren took a chance.

He leaned in, brushing his lips gently against Chris'. Chris sighed happily, his free hand twisting into Darren's t-shirt and pulling him close. The kiss was affectionate and warm, just a sweet, soft touch of lips and tongue. Darren felt like he was trying to tell Chris everything he was feeling in this one kiss.

'I love you so much' he breathed against Chris' lips, reaching up to cup his jaw.

And then Chris tensed, pulling back, scrambling to his feet.

'Stop it. Just stop it. I can't. It won't... I just can't, OK?'

Darren flinched at the abrupt change from the man who moments ago had been happily curled against him to the agitated one that was now pacing the floor. 'But...'

'No just... stop talking OK?'

Darren didn't. 'Chris. Please. I know it goes against all your instincts. But please give this a chance.'

Chris stopped pacing. He stood facing Darren with his arms clasped over his chest. 'It won't work, Darren' he repeated dully. 'I...' he bit his lip and hesitated for a long moment but then he looked Darren straight in the eye. 'I don't love you.'

Darren who had been half standing to go to him recoiled like Chris had dealt him a physical blow. He would have accused Chris of lying but Chris' eyes were hard and fierce and certain. 'You don't love me' Darren echoed him like saying the words out loud would help him make sense of them.

It didn't.

'I should go' Chris whispered and made an aborted half step towards Darren like he wanted to offer a touch of comfort in some way. He couldn't stand to see Darren look so devastated especially when he knew he was the one that had put the expression there.

'Fine, go' Darren spat and when he looked up again his eyes were blazing. 'You go and continue whoring yourself around in an attempt to fill that space inside you. I hope you find what you're looking for.' He looked away.

Chris blinked. He definitely deserved Darren's anger. But that one hurt. He fought not to get angry in return. But here was just the evidence of everything he knew about love. Darren was just letting him go.

'I thought you said you'd fight for me' Chris whispered. Darren's head snapped up again but he was too late. Chris had already left, the slam of his apartment door echoing in the sudden, heavy silence.


	11. In Which Darren Believes In Yesterday

**A/N: Hello my lovelies. I was inspired to do a quick update by all the threats of violence to my person. It's amazing what a few threats of violence can do. The next chapter will probably be the last!**

**The song in this is Yesterday by the Beatles. I'm sure most of you know it but if you don't it's basically just a song about wanting to go back to the way things were before. If you haven't heard it I recommend it because it really is a beautiful song. **

**Some dialogue lifted out of BIOTA (and in some places bastardised for my needs :P) – if you recognise it, it's not mine!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11 – In Which Darren Believes In Yesterday<strong>

Ashley only had the patience to bash on the door for about thirty seconds before she grew agitated and used the key Chris had cut for her.

'You're right. You _are_ a terrible person!' she yelled as she stormed into the apartment. 'What the fu-?'

The words died in her throat as she actually took Chris in. He was in the foetal position on the couch, eyes staring blankly at nothing. The room was a mess, take out containers scattered across the coffee table, a plate that appeared to be growing mould which Ashley didn't want to examine too closely and the blinds drawn, giving the room a musty and stifling air. How he had managed to get it to this level of grimy in three days was beyond her.

'Not that I'm disagreeing with you but what have I done this time?' Chris joked feebly, his expression still alarming vacant.

'Oh, Chris' Ashley said softly. She slid onto the couch next to him, pulling him until he was resting against her. He didn't resist, he just nestled into her side and buried his head into her shoulder. 'Um...' Ashley started. 'So I spoke to Darren.'

'Did you?' Chris asked dully, without a spark of curiosity. That more than anything, worried the hell out of Ashley. 'What did he say?'

'Uhm... not a lot' Ashley hedged. She had been surprised when Darren had turned up at her door the previous night looking wretched and apologising and saying he didn't know where else to go. And as Ashley thought about it, she was struck by the main difference between Darren and Chris. Because Darren _had_ cried and he _had _shouted. He had let himself feel all the pain Chris caused and he had showed it and he hadn't been ashamed about breaking down. Because he knew that showing that you were hurt wasn't a weakness.

And here was Chris. And Ashley was pretty sure he _hadn't _cried. There were no tissues on the table and his eyes weren't red or bloodshot, they were almost eerily calm. And even in the privacy of his own home, Chris hadn't allowed himself to let go. He just kept all the emotion inside and told himself that he deserved it or that he was too strong to cry. Darren would be so good for Chris if only he could see it.

'He _did _mention that you...'

'That I am an overwhelming asshole that kissed him one minute and told him I didn't love him the next?'

'That may have come up' Ashley said hesitantly. 'He was more... um,' _hurt, distraught, angry, _'surprised shall we say, about the fact that you seemed to set some kind of trap for him. Now Chris you know I love you etc but that isnot cool.'

Chris shifted in her arms and then looked up at her, looking almost confused. 'A trap?'

'Well... you told him you didn't love him and then turned around and said that he should have fought for you. You can't expect that Chris. Some things you can't fight. And the person you love telling you point blank they don't feel the same, is one of them.'

'It wasn't a trap or a test of any of that crap' Chris sighed. 'It was an observation.'

'A pretty shitty one' Ashley said. She wasn't in the mood to be forgiving. Not after she had left the devastated mess that was Darren asleep in her spare room when she came here.

'He called me a whore! Or he implied it' Chris shouted and finally he was actually showing something. 'I have slept with exactly one man since I slept with Darren the _first time_. Since early September, Ashley. It's only just February. I'm not a whore.'

Ashley caught her breath. Even she hadn't known that. 'One person?' she said weakly.

'He looked like Darren.' Chris sounded ashamed. 'It was stupid and I regretted it. But I did it and I'll admit to it.'

'But what's Darren supposed to think, Chris? You've been throwing yourself at guys for weeks. Disappearing with them. Of course he was going to think that.'

'So I deserve to be called a whore, do I?' Chris demanded.

'No. But it's not really about that, is it? Darren said something stupid in the heat of the moment because he was angry and hurt. Because you made him feel like he wasn't good enough. You looked him straight in the eye and told him you didn't love him. And we both know _that's_ not true. '

'I don't want to feel this way' Chris said suddenly, something like panic in his expression. 'Darren... he actually matters. He really cares about me. He's pretty much done nothing _but_ care about me since we've met. And I've been a total asshole. I'd mess it up, I'd screw it up. I always do. I just... he deserves better.'

'Maybe he does' Ashley said. 'But funny thing is, he wants _you_. And I think you've already messed up as bad as you're going too, Chris. You can fix this. You can.'

'I don't know that I want to. Maybe it's better this way. He'll find someone that's just as sweet and kind and open as he is and I will die alone and be eaten by my numerous cats.'

'Now you're just being melodramatic. And you're quite a catch yourself, Colfer. When you're not being a total dickhead. I think you and Darren would be very good for each other.'

Chris sighed. 'I feel like I need him more than he needs me' he admitted quietly. And there it was. He hated needing anyone. He was his own person and he had got this far by himself, driven by his love for his sister and his own ambition. And now there was Darren. And now it felt weird when he wasn't there and a simple touch from him was enough to make things OK if only for a moment.

'Well I would disagree with that' Ashley said. 'Darren is sweet and lovely to you and he never expects anything in return. Maybe you need that. Because nowadays you're used to people having motives for getting on your good side. And Darren's never had that. He does what he does because he likes to see you smile. But Darren needs you too. You have the energy and ambition and fortitude to keep up with him. Because we both know he is going places. And you are one of the people that would be able to support him through everything that is to come. Like I said, you're good for each other.'

Chris was silent and Ashley felt she had more than pushed her luck enough for one day.

'At least think about it, Chris?' she asked and was relieved when he nodded without sign of hesitation. 'Alright then. Now we best get this place cleaned up. Isn't everyone coming over tomorrow?'

'Oh fuck. The read-through-party-extravaganza. I forgot about that' Chris groaned.

'Well I'm not really surprised. Darren's going to be coming, isn't he?'

'_Everyone's_ coming' Chris snapped. 'So I would guess that Darren is included in that. Shit shit shit this place is a _mess_.'

'Look it's alright. First, please go and have a shower. I love you, honey but that love only stretches so far. I'll get started in here.'

Chris moved to do as he was told but then paused and brushed a quick kiss to Ashley's cheek.

'Thank you, Ashley.'

* * *

><p>'How do you feel about a bit of method acting?' Mark grinned the moment Chris opened the door, holding up a crate of beer. Chord and Cory, who were already doing what they could to transform Chris' kitchen into a bar, cheered loudly.<p>

'That's the spirit!' Chord yelled, slapping Mark on the back. 'Booze, this way.'

'You know, when I said a line run through, that is really what I meant' Chris protested but he laughed.

'It is a line run through. A line run through with beer. Isn't the episode called _Blame It On The Alcohol?_' Mark said.

'Ok, ok. Just try not to trash the place. Again.'

'That was a complete accident and we apologised for that _and_ paid damages' Cory protested indignantly.

Chris was about to shout something back but he was distracted by someone clearing their throat behind him where he was still standing by his open door.

'Hey, boo.' Ashley pressed an absent minded kiss into his hair and breezed past him carrying an indecent amount of tequila. Chris had barely noticed her because his eyes had locked onto Darren. Darren was staring at his shoes and had his hands in his pockets, looking like he's literally rather be anywhere than there. He looked tired and pale and Chris had the sudden wild urge to ask him if was eating enough.

'Hi' he whispered instead.

'Hey, Chris. I hope it's OK that I came along today?' Darren addressed his question to the floor.

'Of course! I mean it's a full cast read through and you're cast so er... it wouldn't be a full cast read through without you.' Chris babbled nervously. And then more quietly. 'It wouldn't be the same without you.'

Darren finally looked up and Chris almost physically flinched at the look on his face. Where he was used to seeing soft affection and warm smiles was now a hard mask that was just completely wrong on Darren's usually sweet and open features.

'Yes well. I'm a professional so...' Darren muttered. He cleared his throat awkwardly. 'I'm sorry about what I said. It was wrong of me.' His tone was purely business like, as if they were discussing dance steps or something equally dull.

'Oh. No. I mean you don't have to apologise. _I'm_ sorry. I was just... I got...' Chris scrambled to find the words and without meaning too he reached out, looking for the same comfort that Darren had always provided him with.

But Darren took a step back. 'I would appreciate it if we kept this on a strictly professional level from now on' he said stiffly.

'Fuck, Darren. I mean yes of course. Whatever you want. Just, I'm sorry. I really am.'

For a moment Darren's eyes softened almost imperceptibly.

'Chris...' he breathed but that was all he got out.

'Where's the party at?' Amber yelled, appearing with Jenna and Kevin.

Chris forced a smile. 'Right this way. Have you brought your scripts?'

'No, but we brought alcohol!' Kevin cried, showing Chris the bottles of vodka he was carrying.

'Close enough' Chris laughed.

'See you later' Darren muttered and slipped inside, immediately taking a glass of something purple that Chord handed him and knocking it back.

'Wooo nice one, Dare!' Cory yelled. 'Another?'

'Keep 'em coming my good man' Darren said.

'You shouldn't let him drink too much' Lea advised, appearing at his door too and aiming a kiss at his cheek. 'He gets handsy.'

Chris scowled. He knew Darren better than anyone and _knew_ he was a clingy drunk, which was different to being handsy anyway and he didn't need Lea telling him.

'I'll bear that in mind' he said.

After everyone had arrived and had a couple of drinks in them they did actually get down to a run through which was spontaneously kicked off by Lea yelling,

'It tastes like pink! Pink!'

As if waiting for that signal, all the others fell into character at once.

This was already slipping slightly out of Chris' control. A read through was rapidly turning into a full on re-enactment of the scene.

He had suggested the read through because it was the first time he and Darren had a big scene with the New Directions, not counting _Silly Love Songs_ because that really was mainly the song. At the time he thought it would help Darren slip into working with the others a bit better. Darren clearly didn't need any such help, judging by the way he threw an arm around Cory.

'It's so cool that you and Kurt are brothers... right? _Brothers. _Wow you're so tall.'

Cory laughed at Darren's over the top drunkenness, breaking character completely to say, 'It's not my fault you're so short.'

'Hey. Not everything about me is short. If you know what I mean.'

Cory smirked and raised an eyebrow. 'I know _exactly_ what you mean.'

And it was stupid because Chris knew Cory was straight and that Darren was well... Darren, _knew_ they were just playing around but he still felt stupidly possessive of Darren even though he had given up any rights he had to feel that way.

'Having fun, Blaine?' he interrupted anyway, hating himself.

For a moment Darren's darkened eyes locked onto his and Chris swallowed. And then whatever heat had been in Darren's gaze was gone, replaced with bright eyed Blaine, drunk teenager at a party. 'Yeaah! Best party ever!'

They both stumbled forward and Chris slid an arm around Darren's waist and for a moment it felt like everything was back to normal. They were pressed together hip to hip, shoulder to shoulder and Chris instantly felt something of the usual safety and contentment he felt whenever Darren was wrapped around him. Something about his very scent was comforting.

It couldn't last long though. Darren staged a spectacular drunken fall and Chris had to resist the urge to cling to him and not let him go. Not this time.

'Annnd scene' Amber cried. 'Nice work guys.'

Chris left Cory and Lea doing their types of drunk scene which admittedly Cory was making hilarious with his little asides and adlibs but he just wasn't in the mood. He poured himself a glass of mainly rum, only topping it off a little with Diet Coke. And that was pretty much only so he could say that it was 'Rum and Coke' if questioned.

Suddenly an arm slipped around his shoulders. He knew it wasn't Darren's. It wasn't solid or warm enough to be Darren. He turned. Jenna.

'Hey, sweetie' she smiled at him. 'You OK? Where's scrunchy Chris this evening?'

'Scrunchy Chris?'

'Oh' she laughed. 'It was something Darren said once on one of our first nights out with him. He said that he likes that when you're really happy you get all "scrunchy around the edges" I think is how he put it.'

'Did he?' Chris said quietly, looking over at Darren who was in animated conversation with Mark. To a casual observer he looked fine but Chris could see the slight stoop of his shoulders, the slight shadow in his eyes.

'He's adorable isn't he?' Jenna said happily, oblivious to what was going through his mind. 'Everyone loves him. You're a very lucky guy.'

'What?' Chris snapped, turning to stare at her.

She blinked. 'Well it's no secret that Kurt and Blaine are probably gonna end up together. You'll get to be all up on that' she laughed. 'I'm jealous.'

There was an over dramatic gasp from behind them and they both turned to see Harry. 'How could you?' he demanded. 'Am I not good enough for you anymore?'

'Oh sweetie. You know I love your abs. I mean _you_. I love _you_.'

Harry laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

'Spin the Bottle!' Lea shouted, interrupting any further conversation. 'Let's do this shit!'

Chris suppressed a groan but he reluctantly sat himself down next to Darren, figuring that's where Kurt would be. He hugged his knees to his chest, carefully not touching Darren who cast him a fleeting, questioning look before turning away.

'I'll actually spin the bottle' Heather said. 'But obviously we're just gonna pretend it lands on Chord. I mean Sam' she winked.

'Are you actually gonna make ou-?' Harry's question was cut off when Heather grabbed Chord and planted a very enthusiastic kiss on his lips that Chord returned just as enthusiastically.

'Take that as a yes' Naya teased. 'Oh I mean... No me gusta?'

'Did you actually bother learning the lines at all?' Kevin asked, nudging her with his foot.

'Not really' Naya shrugged. 'I didn't think we'd _actually_ be doing a line run through. I feel like a kid who hasn't done their homework because they were sure the teacher would forget.'

'Hey don't look at me!' Chris said. 'I had all but given up on it. Blame Lea.'

'Oh guys, you can stop now' Naya said to Heather and Chord, vaguely aware than in the script she broke up the kiss. 'Um... I can shout more angry Spanish if you like?'

'Nah it's OK' Heather said, breaking the kiss.

'Wow' Chord said. 'Awesome.'

Mark laughed and high fived him.

'It's me now, isn't it?' Lea asked. 'Even though back in my days of Spin the Bottle, the person that got spun to would take the next spin. But whatever, let's just ignore those rules. '

'Seriously?' Ashley demanded. 'Out of all the shit that _Glee_ does and this is the one you're choosing to get annoyed about.'

'This is important!' Lea insisted. 'We're teaching thousands of youngsters the wrong way to play Spin the Bottle. They need to know the proper rules. And also how,' she spun the bottle, 'to spin it so it lands where you want.' It stopped on Darren.

There was a pause and Chris felt like time was slowing around him. He couldn't watch this but at the same time he couldn't tear himself away. He didn't deliver his line as if he could delay the inevitable with pure stubbornness. Sadly that wasn't the case.

Lea grabbed the front of Darren's shirt. 'Darren Criss. I am going to Rock. Your. World!'

Darren leaned in too and his side pressed against Chris' and Chris had to watch horrified as their lips met in a kiss that was a lot more than a stage kiss, a lot more than just friendly. There were whoops and hollers from around the circle but Chris could only hear a slight roaring in his ears. All the good feelings he usually felt for Lea had soured in seconds. And it wasn't her fault. He knew that. But he couldn't watch Darren, the man he... he really... well Darren, kiss someone that wasn't him.

And suddenly he felt like a total dick because how had Darren just stood idly by and watched him with so many other men if he felt even a fraction as bad as Chris did now? And how had he put Darren through that? Fuck, he was selfish. And an asshole. And Darren had still wanted him even after all that. And Chris had pushed him away.

'Ok I think that's enough of that!' he yelled suddenly, the words bursting out of him, desperate and hurt. No one seemed to notice, or they attributed it to him being Kurt. But when Lea pulled back, laughing, Darren glanced at Chris, his expression unreadable.

'Your face tastes awesome' Lea announced, not letting go of him. 'I think I just found myself a new duet partner!'

Chris scrambled to his feet, needing to put as much distance between himself and this _mess_ as possible.

'I'll just be...' he started and then stopped. Like anyone cared where he went anyway, they were too busy trying to find an instrumental track that they could actually sing to on Kevin's ipod. He walked away and he missed Darren shouting after him.

'Chris... wait!'

'Ooh Dare, how about this one?' Lea asked, recapturing his attention for a moment. And that brief second of inattention was enough time for Chris to slip out of sight.

'Sure' he agreed blindly, not even sure what the song _was_.

* * *

><p>Chris leaned on the door and sighed deeply. He had actually left his apartment, knowing that no matter where he went <em>inside<em>, someone would find him eventually and he just needed a second to get his head straight. So he had slipped out the front and was now just sitting against the door, ignoring the odd look his neighbour had shot him when she had walked past.

This right here was the number one reason he thought relationships sucked. Because he hated feeling like this. Jealous and angry and shitty. Like his happiness now relied on someone else.

_But you could _have_ that person_ his inner voice, which sounded a lot like Ashley, said.

He sighed and tapped his head lightly against the door as if to clear the thought. In that moment of trying to force himself not to think of anything he realised that Darren was singing. His voice was sweet and yearning and captivating. He was pretty sure it was meant to be a duet but Lea just let him sing and who could blame her?

_Why she had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.  
>I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday.<em>

_Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play._  
><em>Now I need a place to hide away.<em>  
><em>Oh, I believe in yesterday.<em>

There was complete silence when the last notes of the song died away and then everyone inside exploded, clapping loudly.

'Fuck, Dare! I'm not following that!' Lea shouted and Darren laughed a little self consciously and Chris couldn't hear his response but knowing Darren it was probably something disarmingly humble and charming.

He drew a deep, shuddering breath and was shocked to feel tears on his cheeks. He brushed them away impatiently. He hadn't cried in years and he wasn't going to start now over a stupid _boy_ and a stupid song.

But he still sat there for a while longer, head buried in his arms and the Ashley voice in his head nagging at him.

_It wouldn't hurt so much if you didn't care_. _Go get him Colfer, you unbelievable idiot. _

* * *

><p>'Chris! Fuck man, we were about to send out a search party!' Cory ruffled his hair good-naturedly.<p>

'Yeah I was just...' Chris paused, he didn't actually have an excuse ready. 'Have you seen Darren?' he said instead.

'Oh yeah. He was looking for _you_! I think he went in your study.'

'Cool, thanks Cory.'

'No problem. Best party ever!' he yelled, imitating Darren and Chris forced a laugh before brushing past him.

He almost knocked when he got to his study but then told himself he was being stupid and just went in, blinking to adjust from the bright light outside to the much warmer and dimmer light being thrown by the single lamp Darren had turned on.

Darren seemed to be reading something but he looked up when Chris walked in.

'Darren...' Chris said, steeling himself but Darren interrupted.

'What is this?' Darren asked, his voice quiet, holding up the sheet of paper he had been so closely examining.

Chris peered at, wondering what the hell Darren had found in his _office_ that had made Darren look so weird. And then he felt the color drain from his face.

Held in Darren's hand was a piece of paper covered in Chris' neat handwriting. The pros list he had written and _fuck_ he knew he should have thrown that shit away.

Some of it wasn't so bad, just sweet, silly things like:

_His eyes  
>His hands<br>He switches sandwiches with me when it has the disgusting mayo in  
>He buys me Diet Coke<br>He has a favorite Transformer_

Some it was definitely creepy:

_The way he always smells inexplicably of cinnamon  
>He makes me feel safe<br>His shoulder freckles  
>The noises he makes when we fuck<em>

And the one that Darren was pointing to, at the very bottom of the list that Chris had actually scribbled through but was still clearly legible.

_I think I might be in love with him_

Chris's hand was on the door handle before he could even think about it.

'Don't you dare' Darren said quietly. 'Don't run from me, Chris. You want me to fight for you? _This _is me fighting!' He was almost yelling and Chris put up a hand, trying to quiet him, even though the music outside was more than loud enough to drown them out.

'Ok ok. Shhhh.'

'I will not shhh. You told me that you didn't...' Darren choked on the words. 'What the fuck _is_ this?' he repeated, brandishing the paper again.

'I...' the carefully prepared words had completely flown Chris' mind and he took a few stumbling steps forward. 'It's... what is says.'

'But you scribbled through it' Darren said more quietly, hurt all over his features.

'I wrote that a little while ago. Nearly a month' Chris said. 'It's not crossed out because it's not true' he whispered. 'I just... I can hardly even admit it in my own mind, Darren.'

Darren stared at him, his stance relaxing only slightly now he was sure Chris wasn't going to make a run for it. 'Why is it so hard for you?' he asked, frustration clear in his tone.

'This... you...' Chris sat down heavily on the floor by his bookcase. And then the words came in a rush, disjointed and messy but so sincere. 'This is really fucking new for me. I've never really felt this way. Even close to the way I feel for you. And it's really terrifying. It's like this thing that wants to burst out of me. And suddenly everything is about you. All I see is you, all I want is you, to be close to you, to be held by you. I'm _not_ a whore Darren. I couldn't sleep with any of those guys because they weren't you. But actually no, that's a lie. I did fuck one of them. But I felt horrible afterwards like I had betrayed you. And that's the one I told you about. I'm sorry I made you think that because it fucking sucks, I know that now and... I'm just so scared _all_ the time. Of what this means. And what it doesn't mean. Of how I feel. And how you can actually make me talk about stuff that I never tell anyone and I showed you my fucking rooftop for Christ's sake. And I'm so caught up in what _might _happen and the ways that this _might_ go wrong and so busy _what if-ing_ that I find it hard to let it happen to begin with. And now I've fucked everything up because I'm so fucking _stupid_.'

Suddenly Darren was on the floor next to him wrapping him in his arms and Chris _let go_, sobbing all the pain and frustration and fear he had been feeling for weeks into Darren's shoulder, clutching at his t-shirt and Darren just held him and nuzzled into his hair and muttered soothing phrases under his breath.

'Chris hush, it's going to be ok. It's ok baby, I'm here. I've got you. I've always got you. Even when you are being incredibly stupid.'

Chris choked out a laugh through his tears and buried his face into Darren's neck, inhaling his soothing scent and letting it relax him.

Darren didn't know how long they sat there, clinging on to each other until Chris' sobs subsided and he was just cuddling into Darren rather than desperately clutching on to him.

'Better?' Darren mumbled into his hair, as if scared raising his voice too much would spook him.

'Everything's better when you're here' Chris said simply and Darren's breath hitched at the sweet, honest statement.

Darren wanted to ask _What now? What does this mean for us? What are we?_ But he couldn't bring himself to ruin the simple peace they had found themselves here, curled together on Chris' study floor.

Chris seemed to read his mind. 'I suppose I better get back out there. But... I don't want to move. And I feel we probably have more to talk about.'

'But not today' Darren said and then taking a chance, pressed a quick, sweet kiss to Chris' nose. 'How about you sneak into your room and I'll get rid of everyone, tell them you're sick or something.' He knew that Chris probably didn't want to go out there with his red eyes and tear stained cheeks.

'You'd do that?' Chris asked.

Darren had to bite down his usual reaction of '_Anything for you'_. He was soppy and romantic, that was just him. But he felt like he might need to build up to that with Chris. And he didn't mind one bit. 'Of course' is what he said instead. He made to move but Chris tightened his hold.

'But... _you'll_ stay, won't you?' he asked, uncertain but hopeful.

Darren beamed. 'Try and stop me.'

Chris smiled and almost shyly brushed a kiss to the corner of Darren's mouth. 'Just one more minute' he begged, settling himself into Darren's arms again.

Darren just nodded, tightening his hold. He felt like he was holding something delicate and precious that could slip through his fingers any minute. The thought was terrifying but, Darren reminded himself, love _was_ terrifying. But it was also exhilarating and wonderful and magical. He just had to hope that Chris would grow to see that too.

* * *

><p>Chris was already half asleep by the time Darren entered his room, having finally gotten rid of everyone. It had been a lot harder than he had thought. The moment 'Chris is sick' had left his lips, they had all been fairly insistent on storming his room and checking on him themselves.<p>

'Was it drink? I didn't think he drank _that_ much?' Cory asked anxiously.

'No he was a bit off even early in the evening' Jenna insisted. 'I _told_ you he was less scrunchy than usual, didn't I?'

'I could make him a sweet honey tea?' Amber offered. 'My grandma swears by it.'

'No no it's _fine_, he just needs a bit of peace and quiet' Darren repeated wearily, again and again.

Ashley was the only one who didn't seem remotely worried. In fact she seemed amused. 'Well you take care of our boy then, hobbit' she had said and left with a wink, dragging Mark with her.

The others were a lot harder to convince but eventually Darren managed to usher them one by one out of the door, nodding at Lea's strict instructions for how to take care of a sick person.

'Yes Lea, I've got it under control, ok? Goodbye.'

He basically shoved her out the door and was _finally_ able to go back to Chris.

'All gone?' Chris muttered and Darren nodded exhaustedly.

'I underestimated how much those guys love you' he said.

'It's a gift' Chris yawned. Then he held out his arms. 'Come here.'

Darren hesitated. But he felt that they deserved this one night. Tomorrow there would be talking and maybe more shouting but for now he wanted nothing more than to fall asleep in Chris' arms.

'Well?' Chris inclined his head and smiled softly. 'Are you coming?'

Darren kicked off his shoes and slipped into the bed next to him, curling instinctively into Chris' body, fitting perfectly into the space like it was made for him. Chris' lips found his, sweet and lazy, not with any intention for more, just affectionate, and it was only briefly before he pulled away and sighed happily.

'I've hardly slept since...' he muttered. 'Because I am such a... I shouldn't have walked out that door, Darren. I shouldn't have said... what I said. It wasn't true, I hope you know that. I'm so sorry.'

'Shhh' Darren soothed. 'Sleep now, we'll talk tomorrow.'

'M'k' Chris slurred, closing his eyes.

'Chris?' Darren breathed before he could stop himself. '_You'll_ still be here tomorrow, won't you?' he asked, only half joking.

In answer Chris pulled him impossibly closer and nodded into his chest.

'No place I'd rather be.'


	12. There Is Perfection In The Imperfection

**A/N: Heyy. Last chapter here. Just tying up the loose ends. Mainly fluff. Oh and smut. Thank you for all the lovely reviews. I adore you all and I'm going to miss you now that this story is over *sad face*. **

**There has been a question about a sequel. I really don't think there will be one. I feel like there will be no need for it. But I do have other ideas so watch this space. **

**Oh and as a quick note: Link, who is briefly mentioned, is a video game character. He is the hero of the Zelda games. Not crucial but thought I'd let you know.**

**So that's it - Enjoy! :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 12 – In Which There's Perfection In The Imperfection<br>**

'Mmm.'

That was how Darren woke up. With a moan on his lips.

'Awake, are we?' Chris said, his voice low and teasing.

It took Darren a moment to realise why he had even woken up. Then Chris' mouth was back on his dick and he knew why.

'_Fuck_, Chris' he breathed.

'Mmm OK' Chris said lazily, pressing a kiss to the head of Darren's cock, making him shudder. 'But the question is,' he moved up Darren's body so that he was face to face with him and smiling down at him. 'Do _you_ want to fuck _me_ or,' he pressed a kiss to Darren's cheek and then leaned to talk directly into his ear, 'shall _I _fuck_ you?'_

'We should...' Darren said vaguely, pretty sure they were meant to be talking about something. But Chris was being very distracting, sucking kisses to his throat and chest. '_Chris_' he murmured.

Abruptly he pushed, turning them so that Chris was on his back underneath him. He saw the brief flicker of panic in Chris' eyes. He knew Chris liked to be in control. He also knew that this wouldn't work between them if he couldn't give up that control every once in a while.

'Do you trust me?' Darren asked, breathlessly.

Chris looked up at him and then he slowly nodded. 'I do' he said and there was no trace of uncertainty in his face.

'Then let me take care of you.'

There was kissing, soft and sweet. And the slide of bodies, heated but slow like they had all the time in the world. And Chris opened up under Darren's fingers, making the most gorgeous sounds Darren had ever heard. Gasps and sighs and bit back moans.

'Don't hold back, baby' Darren whispered. 'Let go.'

And Darren slid into Chris' waiting body, gasping himself at the sudden, welcome heat. It was the first time he had really done this. He was used to Chris taking control.

He lingered for a moment, just enjoying the feel of Chris, tight around him. He leaned down to brush his nose against Chris' and Chris smiled serenely up at him.

'Ok?' Darren asked.

'I'm perfect.'

Then Darren started to move, slow and gentle. He pressed sweet kisses all over Chris' face, any part of him he could reach. One hand stayed solid and warm on Chris' hip, a constant reassuring touch.

'You're so beautiful' Darren said when Chris arched as Darren found the right angle and nudged up against his prostate. 'So, so gorgeous.'

'Stop talking and fuck me' Chris gasped, arching more, trying to get Darren to fuck him the way he needed it.

But Darren just laughed and kissed him open mouthed and messy. 'What was it you said before? About learning some patience?'

Chris groaned but it turned into a gasp when Darren slammed into him with a bit more force. And then he just rocked, quick thrusts that found Chris' prostate with every hit, sending sparks of pleasure shooting up Chris' spine each time. Chris melted under him, pleading and moaning and writhing and his cock twitched with every thrust.

'Darren, fuck. So good. So close' he gasped. His hand inched down but Darren batted it away.

'No' he growled. 'Just like this. Come on.'

Chris whined, pushing upwards, not finding the friction he needed. He was teetering deliciously on the brink of orgasm, his whole body coiled tight and hot and ready. 'Please' he begged, a bead of sweat sliding down his neck.

'Let go' Darren insisted. 'Come on, baby.'

And Chris _did_, coming with a shout, his vision going hazy and blurring out for a second and his back arching so violently that Darren was actually worried he had hurt himself. Darren made to pull out but Chris' hands found his hips, holding him there.

'No' he panted, sounding hoarse, looking completely wrecked and as gorgeous as Darren had even seen him. 'Keep fucking me.'

'But you've just...' Darren said stupidly.

'Don't care. I can take it. Come on. Fuck me harder.'

'You want _more_' Darren checked, his brain taking a while to catch up.

Chris nodded and pushed Darren off and out of him, actually groaning at the loss of Darren's hard cock inside him.

Chris got on to all fours and then smirked over his shoulder. 'Like this' he said and Darren's jaw dropped.

He just took a moment to drink in the expanse of smooth, pale skin of Chris' back before Chris grew impatient.

'Darren' he said. 'Are you gonna just look or are you gonna fuck me, already?'

'Definitely the second one' Darren said and he edged forward, pushing back in and holding on tightly to Chris' perfect hips. 'Fuck' he said. He was deeper than before; the angle was better and somehow it felt more intimate even though he wasn't looking into Chris' face anymore. He was desperately close to coming himself but this was about Chris and he wanted Chris to come again first.

'Hard' Chris muttered. 'Fast. Give it to me. I won't break.'

Darren obeyed, using his grip on Chris' hips to pull him back hard and fast in time to his thrusts. He lost track of time for a while, just aware of the slick slide of their bodies and every pleasured gasp and moan that came out of Chris' mouth. He realised that Chris was pressing himself backwards even without his guidance, getting as much as he could and his dick twitched at the thought.

Chris moaned, deep and low and he collapsed forward, putting his head in his arms and widening his legs and just took it. Everything that Darren would give him, hard and rough and at complete odds from the gentle face to face they had just moments before.

Chris closed his eyes, losing himself in the feeling of being screwed stupid. Hard and deep and perfect. He twisted enough so that he could catch Darren's lips in a messy kiss, more teeth and tongue than anything else.

'Fuck you love this, don't you?' Darren realised and he leant forward to trail kisses down Chris' spine.

'Yeah' Chris gasped shamelessly. 'Fucking love it like this. Feels so good. Fuck.'

'_Chris_' Darren gasped because he was so close. Everything was hot and so amazing and the heat was coiling deep in his stomach.

'Not yet' Chris panted. 'A bit more Darren.'

Darren reached down and found Chris' cock with his hand. Chris moaned loudly and seemed torn for a moment between pushing into his hand or pushing back on to his cock. That was too much for Darren. He slammed in deep, biting into Chris' shoulder to muffle his shout as he came.

'Fuck, fuck, fuck' he nearly sobbed. 'You are so fucking hot.'

'Darren' Chris said tightly and Darren knew he was close. A few pumps of his fist and Chris came, almost silently this time, sagging back down onto his arms.

They both just lay there, panting for a few long minutes until Chris squirmed under Darren's body and he took the hint, pulling out and rolling to the side. To his surprise Chris snuggled into him.

'Hi' Chris said, smiling and giving him a sweet, lingering kiss.

'That was some wakeup call' Darren muttered, reaching out and pushing some errant strands of hair behind Chris' ear.

'I woke up and you were laid out next to me half naked and entirely irresistible. What's a guy to do?' Chris said.

Darren bit his lip. 'Chris. We need to talk.'

Chris sighed but didn't pull away or flinch back or close off in any of the ways Darren had expected. 'I suppose we do' he agreed. 'After a shower though, huh?'

'Alright.' Darren reluctantly let Chris go so that he could stand up. Darren watched Chris cross the room, entirely distracted by the sultry sway of his hips. When Chris got to the bathroom he turned, feigning surprise.

'Well? Aren't you coming?'

'Seriously? All ready? You're insatiable.'

'Only for you, baby' Chris smirked and disappeared into the bathroom.

Darren scrambled to follow.

* * *

><p>'So' Darren was pacing. 'We... That is to say you and I...' He stopped. Admittedly he had no fucking clue what he was trying to say. He just knew that he didn't want to ruin this. Whatever <em>this<em> currently was.

'Darren will you sit down? You're making _me_ feel nervous' Chris said. He looked almost serene in comparison to Darren's clear agitation, but Darren could see the way his fingers were picking at a loose thread in the couch and the way his eyes wouldn't quite settle on anything. He found it almost soothing to see that Chris was nervous too. Because that meant that this was important to both of them.

'Right' Darren said and sat down next to Chris, not quite touching him. 'So what is this?' he said, the question slipping out before he had a chance to get a grip on it. And then, guessing it couldn't hurt any more, he added, 'Because I don't want this to be just a sex thing.'

'I don't want that either' Chris said quietly. He sighed, scrubbing a hand across his face. 'I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. With me, I mean.'

'I have some idea' Darren said drily, and he held out a hand, smiling when Chris took it and threaded their fingers together without hesitation.

'Because it's... going to be hard. Probably. I'm not very... I mean I'll promise I'll try but I don't really... you know?'

'Chris' Darren said gently. 'I'm well aware of what I'm getting myself into. It _is_ going to be hard. All relationships are. All I ask is that you give it a chance.'

'So you want that?' Chris whispered. 'A relationship with...me?'

'Of course I want that' Darren surged forward and gave him the softest and most fleeting of kisses. 'I love you.'

'I...' Chris said and then he stopped, shaking his head almost in frustration. 'Sorry, Darren.'

'It's ok' Darren soothed. He had seen the list. He knew how Chris felt and he wasn't going to force the issue. 'You don't have to say anything you're not comfortable with.'

'It's not that I don't... just... I have trouble verbalising things sometimes.'

'I know' Darren said simply. 'So?'

'What?'

'Chris Colfer' Darren said, mock grandly. 'Will you do me the greatest of honours of becoming my boyfriend?'

Chris laughed fondly. 'Hmm... I suppose so' he smiled.

'You _suppose_ so?' Darren laughed. 'You _suppose_ so?' he dug his fingers into Chris' ribs, tickling him.

'Haha Darren, noo. I'm really ticklish' Chris giggled under Darren's hands, falling back onto the couch.

'I can see that' Darren said, grinning uncontrollably at Chris' giggles. He tickled him some more, hands becoming more gentle and sliding up under Chris' shirt and across his ribs.

'Mmm' Chris hummed, smiling and leaned up to accept Darren's kiss.

'I like you like this' Darren murmured, lying down too, chin on Chris' chest.

'Like what?' Chris asked, absently playing with Darren's hair.

'All chilled out and happy. Where's this Chris most of the time?'

'I suppose...' Chris hesitated but his body stayed relaxed so Darren knew he wasn't upset by the question. 'I suppose I spend so much time putting up a front and keeping people at arm's length that not many people get to see it, that's all.'

'And why do you do that?' Darren muttered, his voice low so that Chris could choose to ignore the question if he wanted. To his surprise, and Chris was doing that a lot lately, he laughed.

'Always asking things, aren't you?'

'It used to annoy you' Darren said. 'Me asking you things. But now you don't seem too bothered.'

'I suppose boyfriends are allowed to ask questions' Chris said quietly and Darren practically glowed at the word.

'Mmm I could get used to hearing that' he said, shifting to look into Chris' face, still beaming like an idiot.

'That used to annoy me too' Chris said distractedly, still stroking his hair.

'What did?'

'You looking at me like that.'

'What? Like I've seen you naked?' Darren teased.

'No. You always look at me like I mean something' Chris said simply.

Darren was briefly staggered. 'You _do_' he whispered. 'You do to me.'

Chris blushed and looked down shyly. 'I suppose it's something else I'll have to get used to.'

They were quiet for a long time, just curled up together, warm and content.

'You never answered my question' Darren said drowsily. 'You're so good at evading.'

Chris chuckled softly. 'I don't think I've ever got away with evading _you_. I didn't want to let people in because I didn't want to be hurt. The age old story. But you got in anyway somehow, and I guess... the way I feel for you, I knew it was too late when I walked out on you that night.' Darren tensed at the memory and Chris resumed his soothing stroking of his hair. 'Because it already hurt. I didn't want to let you in but I didn't realise you were already there. It was too late to not be hurt by you because it hurt when you _weren't_ there. You see?'

'Sort of' Darren muttered. 'I don't ever want to hurt you Chris.'

'I know. But...' _It doesn't mean you won't_ went unsaid.

'I know' Darren said too as if Chris had completed the sentence. 'But I'll try.'

'And I'll try' Chris promised. 'I will.'

'So... looks like we're really doing this then, huh?'

Chris' hand found his again in an already familiar gesture.

'Yeah... looks like we are.'

* * *

><p>The first time they walked onto set holding hands, there was something like an intake of breath. And then there were smiles and greetings and normalcy. Curt surreptitiously slipped Riker two twenties and couldn't even be too upset about it.<p>

The world didn't end like Chris had foolishly been thinking. Thinking that the moment he exposed this to scrutiny it would all fall apart because it would be too delicate to take it.

But it wasn't. It was robust and sturdy like Darren. It would last, he thought. He didn't know how long but for once that didn't seem to matter. As long as it was happening now.

* * *

><p>They weren't really living together (Darren wouldn't even dare bring up the idea) but Darren would spend a good deal of his free time in Chris' apartment. Unfortunately Chris' time, now spent working on his screenplay and his book, was <em>not<em> so free and Darren spent a good deal of time having to entertain himself.

Chris was amused to note that despite Darren's apparent hatred of the wii, he spent a good amount of time playing it and (it seemed) dying on it. He would work with his study door open, comforted by the muted sound of the TV and Darren moving around and the occasional shout of:

'For fuck's sake Link, get it together! How can you expect to live if you keep dying all the time?'

Or else Chris would come and sit on the couch with Darren, laptop on his knees and Darren would curl into his side with a book or just to doze, happy to have Chris close.

Other times Darren would bring his guitar. He had the intention to write some proper songs but he got bored easily, making up little songs on the spot:

'Ooh I'm sitting in Chris' lounge  
>Chris likes to work a lot<br>He promised we'll have dinner later  
>But I'd rather suck his co-'<p>

'Darren! That doesn't even rhyme.'

'Do I get to suck your cock if I make something up that rhymes?'

'No. I mean yes. Just not right now. Stop talking about cock!'

Darren laughed but he fell quiet, just thumbing idly over the strings.

Chris liked it best when Darren would get caught up in a song and he would close his eyes and sing just for himself. Chris would stop what he was doing and would just listen and watch Darren, safe to observe without being watched in return. Sometimes he would whisper the words he still didn't have the courage to say out loud. He almost wished that Darren would hear them. But he never did.

* * *

><p>'I want to take you on a date' Darren said. He often picked times like this to bring stuff up, when they were quietly entwined and Chris was relaxed and smiley and Darren thought it was impossible to love someone this much.<p>

Chris shifted to look into his face. 'We do stuff together all the time' he said.

'A real one' Darren insisted. 'Our first official date. I want it to be special.'

'You're such a sap' Chris said, laughing slightly and he took Darren's hand, kissing the inside of his wrist.

'But you'll humour me, won't you?'

'Hmm ok. But no ice skating.'

Darren laughed. 'No ice skating' he agreed.

Darren lapsed into silence, thinking hard, taking what he knew of Chris and trying to find something worthy of a first date. He realised he was putting way too much pressure on himself because he wanted it to be perfect. He knew Chris preferred the simple over the extravagant and wasn't massively into the typically romantic stuff. So that ruled out picnics at sunset and the like. He was also a private person. They hadn't exposed their relationship to the public yet and had no plans to do so anytime soon. Dinner was too boring, a movie theatre not private enough...

'You're thinking very loudly' Chris teased.

'Just wondering the best way to spoil my boyfriend' Darren said.

'Mmm he's a lucky guy' Chris mumbled, curling his fingers under Darren's t-shirt and stroking the soft skin at his hip in a thoughtless, intimate gesture that made Darren smile.

'_I'm _the lucky one' he said, kissing Chris' nose. 'I love you.'

Chris just smiled.

* * *

><p>In the end Darren brought the date to Chris.<p>

'Cupcakes!' he announced happily, holding out a bag.

'Seriously? Awesome!' Chris made grabby hands.

Darren laughed and shook his head. 'The ingredients for. We have to make them first. It's phase one of my master plan.'

'Ooh ok. I like baking.'

'I know' Darren said, semi smugly and Chris laughed and gave him a quick kiss.

'Alright, Dare. You did good. Is that what you want to hear?'

Darren beamed. 'Always. Just one problem though. I have no idea how to make them.'

'Don't worry. I am a magician at cupcakes. I have got this well and truly covered.'

'My boyfriend. A man of many talents.'

'You know it' Chris laughed and kissed him again, more lingering this time. 'You, mister are far too adorable for your own good.'

Darren grinned and leaned in for more but Chris gently pushed him away with a laugh.

'Nuh uh. You promised me cupcakes.'

Darren was given the job of sifting the flour. Chris knew from experience that Darren, while not being quite as bad as he claimed at cooking, was not to be trusted with anything complicated. But Chris thought that even Darren couldn't mess up sieving flour. He was wrong.

'Um Chris' Darren said the moment Chris turned his back.

Chris turned around and then let out a snort of laughter. Darren had evidently tried to dump the whole lot of flour into the sieve at once and it had poofed up and covered him in a fine layer of the stuff. Darren stared back at him, looking so confused by this turn of events that Chris laughed even harder. Darren frowned for a moment and then grinned evilly.

'You think this is funny do you?' he asked with a wicked smirk. He picked up the bag filled with the remaining flour and promptly upended it over Chris's head. Chris flinched back but still got a face full and he coughed and spluttered indignantly. It was Darren's turn to laugh and he did, so hard that he had to cling onto the kitchen counter for support.

'This is war!' Chris yelled. He grabbed the icing sugar off the counter nearest him. Darren looked around wildly and grabbed the pack of butter on reflex. Chris pounced, sending up a cloud of icing sugar that covered them both in the fine white powder. Darren tried to break off some butter with his hands but wasn't getting very far with it so simply threw the whole block at Chris who side stepped it easily. There was a brief tussle for the icing sugar with Chris getting in some clever elbows, causing Darren to back off slightly.

Then Darren spied the eggs. Chris followed his eye line and his jaw dropped in horror.

'No Darren!' he shouted and they both leapt for the eggs. Chris was closer but Darren simply picked him up and turned around, depositing him in an ungainly heap on the floor. He grabbed the eggs and laughed.

'I've got you now' he said, hefting the eggs threateningly.

Chris scrambled away, laughing and grabbed a wooden spoon. 'Come on then' he challenged. The first two eggs missed completely. The third egg found its target and splattered quite spectacularly over Chris's chest. Chris managed to deflect the fourth egg with his spoon and watched as it sailed straight back and hit Darren in the face. Darren let out a brief grunt of pain and that was enough for Chris to abandon his spoon, pick up a kitchen towel and hurry to his side.

'Are you ok?' he asked, gently wiping the egg off Darren's face.

'Well don't I have egg on _my_ face?' Darren quipped and Chris laughed. Then Darren pouted. 'I can't believe you hit me in the _face_.'

'You started it' Chris pointed out.

'Well maybe I'll be ok if...' Darren trailed off.

'If?'

'If you kiss it better' Darren said and grinned.

'I think I can manage that' Chris said. He pressed a soft kiss to the top of Darren's head, following it up with one to each of his cheeks and then the tip his nose, making Darren laugh. Darren twisted, making it clear where he wanted the next kiss to land. Chris took pity on him and allowed their lips to touch, gentle and teasing at first but then, as Darren pulled him closer, more firmly. Darren sighed happily as Chris pressed him up against the kitchen counter, allowing his hand to slip under Chris's shirt.

Chris pulled back slightly. 'You taste like flour and raw eggs' he frowned.

'So do you' Darren retorted and they both laughed before getting back to the important business of kissing. The kiss was just getting heated and Darren had managed to undo half of Chris's shirt buttons without him noticing when the doorbell rang.

They pulled away again and sighed in annoyance. Chris looked at Darren with vague horror. 'God we look a sight.' They were both absolutely covered in a mixture of flour and icing sugar; it was clinging to their clothes, skin and hair plus they both had egg dripping off them in sticky strands.

'You look like you have very bad dandruff' was Darren's helpful comment. Chris sighed and then dusted Darren off as best he could.

'Look go and see who it is' he said, shoving Darren towards the door as the bell rang again. Darren grumbled something along the lines of _don't see why it should be _me _that has to answer the door_ but he went anyway, leaving Chris to do up his buttons and try and make himself look half way presentable. He flung the door open without bothering with the peephole and his face lit up.

'Ashley! How are you?' he opened his arms for a hug but Ashley understandably backed away looking concerned.

'Darren! You're here. And what the hell happened to you?' she exclaimed, vaguely horrified.

'Oh it's nice to see you too' Darren said feigning hurt.

'Don't try and turn this back on me. You're the one that looks like...' Ashley fought to find a good simile but words failed her and she settled for gesturing instead.

'Oh hi, Ash' Chris greeted her with a smile. 'Do come in.' He turned to lead the way into the flat.

'And why does Chris have white hand prints on his arse?' Ashley asked.

'Well you interrupted what was no doubt going to be very hot kitchen sex' Darren said honestly.

'Darren!' Chris shouted, flushing.

'Really?' Ashley asked with an unhealthy amount of interest.

'No no' Chris laughed nervously. 'We were um... baking. Cupcakes!'

'Uh huh. Well I was passing through and just wondered if you wanted to hang out, Chris. Go shopping or something. But... I can see that you're busy.'

Darren wrapped an arm around Chris' waist. 'You can go if you like. Cupcakes has been an unmitigated failure so...'

But Chris shook his head. 'Sorry, Ash. You know I normally would but it's our date day. Instead of a date night we are having a date day. And admittedly it's not going entirely to plan because I seem to have a boyfriend that is a five year old but still.'

'What does that make you?' Ashley joked.

'I try not to think about it' Chris said seriously.

'Well ok, boo. Call me though, yeah?' She kissed him on the cheek and left with a smile and a wave, leaving Chris and Darren to go back into the kitchen to survey the damage. They simultaneously froze in dismay. Chris' kitchen looked like a tornado and a snowstorm had done battle. Everything was covered in fine white powder courtesy of the flour and icing sugar, egg spatters on one of the cupboards, a chair that had been knocked over without either of them even noticing and various other ingredients littering the floor and surfaces.

'Doesn't look like we'll be making cupcakes' Darren said after a pause.

'No' Chris agreed. 'We used up all the ingredients. Never mind.'

'Urgh I'm sorry. This was supposed to be like a perfect date and I've kind of screwed it up.'

'Don't be silly' Chris said, pulling him into a hug. 'We had fun, didn't we? And any date is perfect with you.'

'Now who's the sap?' Darren laughed.

'Yeah but you love it' Chris said.

'I do' Darren admitted. 'I love you.'

'I know' Chris smiled and kissed him gently. 'Come on, let's get this mess cleared up.'

'Ok but then it's on to Phase Two!' Darren cried, his enthusiasm apparently not diminished by the failure of Phase One.

'Can't wait' Chris said drily.

* * *

><p>Chris admittedly enjoyed Phase Two but he couldn't help teasing Darren a little bit.<p>

'A fort, Darren? Really? I know I said you were five but...'

'It's conducive to the perfect date atmosphere' Darren insisted, arranging the blankets and cushions. It turned out he was a bit of a blanket fort perfectionist and it took a while to get everything arranged to his satisfaction.

He had bought them wine and a ridiculous amount of junk food and the newest Transformers movie. They curled up in the fort and around each other and watched the movie in contented silence, only making the odd comment.

'Tell me a good memory' Darren said when the movie was over and they were just entwined and talking softly about whatever came into their heads.

'Hmm... well once, not so long ago I was in this bar. And there was this guy. He had curly hair and golden eyes and he seduced me with his vast knowledge of Harry Potter and Star Wars.'

'Hey as I remember it, _you_ were the one doing the seducing' Darren protested.

'Hey! Who's story is this? Anyway... I knew there was something about this guy. And he took me back to his place to show me his "Hogwarts Express". The next day I foolishly left him behind but do you want to know the happy part? He somehow found his way back to me. He calls it fate. I don't know if I believe in that stuff. But I do know that I'm glad that he did. Although sadly I haven't been able to get rid of him since' Chris said with a mock sigh.

'Hey!' Darren yelled and he rolled over so he was straddling Chris comfortably, pinning his hands to his sides. 'Want to try that again, Colfer?'

'Hmm' Chris seemed to consider. 'No' he grinned, slow and dirty. 'What are you going to do about it?'

'I'm sure I'll think of something.' Darren leant down to kiss him, slow and deep.

'I think I like dates' Chris sighed when he pulled away. 'I thought... well I thought you would want to go _out _out.'

'I thought about it' Darren admitted. 'But I know you like your privacy so...'

'Yeah not quite ready to take this public just yet' Chris said.

'One day though?' Darren asked.

'Mmm' Chris hummed. 'One day. Now are you going to do something while you're there or...'

Darren smiled and leaned in to kiss him again.

* * *

><p>'For fucks sake Chris! I'm not asking you to fucking marry me. I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet my fucking family, that's all!'<p>

'Why are you so angry? I said I'd think about it!'

'Because we both know that's your code for no' Darren said, frustrated. 'You always wriggle out of anything that might mean, oh I don't know, that we're actually committed to each other.'

'Now that's not fair. I let you tell our friends.'

'Wow' Darren said drily. 'Stop the presses! It was a month before you would even go on a date with me in public.'

'Yeah because of _you_, idiot! Do you know what being seen with 'the gay guy' will do for _you?'_

'And I told you I don't give a fuck!'

'Easy to say' Chris scoffed. 'You know why? Because you never think things through. You're so in the moment.'

'And that scares you, yeah I know. I think you think too _much_!'

'Look that's not even the point right now' Chris said. 'The point is we _are_ committed to each other so why are you so desperate to prove it all the time?'

'Maybe because I fucking love you Chris. And I would actually like us to be in something resembling a normal relationship rather that whatever fucked up version you've got in your head. Maybe because I actually need the occasional sign that you are as in this as I am.'

'You fucking know I am, Darren!' Chris was getting angry as well now. 'You know I find this shit hard.'

'Boo fucking hoo. I think I've been more than patient, Chris. Maybe you need to grow the fuck up!'

'Oh fuck you, Darren. This is about the fact that I haven't said...' he paused. 'Isn't it?'

'Fuck. You can't even say it now out of context' Darren said. He sighed. 'It's not about that. But you seem to think it's an issue.' His eyes flashed with a challenge.

'Oh just... fuck _off_.'

Chris grabbed his coat and spun away, knowing that staying in this situation would just end in saying something he would most definitely regret. He never remembered fighting with Charlie like this. Maybe because you could only ever summon up this much anger and frustration at someone you really cared about.

'That's right, Chris. Walk away. Just like you always do' Darren said but he sounded more upset than angry now. And the minute the door slammed behind Chris he swore and sat down heavily on the couch, his head in his hands.

* * *

><p>He found Chris where he expected too. Sat in the taxidermy aisle of the library.<p>

'There's something quite poetic about it' Chris said when Darren sat down beside him.

'What?'

'Being in an aisle devoted to dead things being stuffed.'

Darren winced. 'Chris...'

'If you've come here to break up with me just do it. Although I warn you now I will never forgive you for ruining my rooftop for me.'

'See I think that's one of our problems' Darren said quietly and he shuffled over so that his side was nudged up against Chris'. 'You don't trust in this, in what we've got. It's going to take more than a bit of shouting to drive me away Chris.'

'You always were persistent' Chris said with the ghost of a smile and he allowed his head to drop onto Darren's shoulder. He sighed. 'I'm sorry, Darren. Of course I'll meet your family if you want me to.'

'No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have got so angry at you. I know you're not ready. That's ok.'

'But you're right. You've already been so patient.'

'Then I guess I can manage a little more' Darren said.

'God you're so fucking wonderful. It's sickening.'

Darren laughed. 'I love you, Chris Colfer.' He paused, half hoping Chris would say it back and sort of hating himself for doing it. When a reply was not forth coming he leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. 'Come on.' He stood up and held out a hand. 'Let's go home.'

* * *

><p>Chris didn't say 'I love you' when Darren anticipated. He hoped for it all the time. Every time he said it himself, which was at least once a day. Every time he did something that made Chris' face light up. Every time they were alone together and whispering endearments into each other's skin.<p>

He didn't want it to be during sex. He dreaded that happening. He didn't want it to slip out when Chris wasn't really thinking, when it was just a reflex. But that didn't happen.

It was on set. Darren had just picked up coffee for both of them, waiting for Chris to arrive. When he spotted Chris across the lot he had waved enthusiastically.

'Hey, Chris!' he yelled, always so unbelievably overjoyed to see him. Chris had turned and smiled blindingly. Darren, who had seemed to have inherited some of his boyfriend's clumsiness, started to jog over to him but stumbled and promptly dumped the hot liquid all over himself.

'Oh shit, wank, bollocks' he cursed loudly, tugging the wet fabric away from his body.

Chris was by his side in a moment, clearly fighting a laugh. 'Aww are you ok, baby?'

'Yeah it's not too hot luckily' Darren sighed, staring down at his ruined t-shirt. He looked up to see Chris looking at him with a special kind of look that he only rarely saw, although increasingly since they had started dating. 'What?' he asked.

'I love you' Chris said simple and fond. Darren froze, staring at him. Any thoughts of acting cool completely deserted him and he grinned broadly, pulling Chris into a hug so tight that he lifted him off his feet. He pressed a brief, messy kiss to his lips.

Chris laughed, surprised and joyful. 'Wow. Why haven't I told you that before? I love you.' _Kiss_. 'I love you.' _Kiss_. 'I love you.' _Kiss_.

'I love you too' Darren mumbled against his lips.

Darren was pretty sure he would remember this moment forever. Drenched in rapidly cooling coffee and Chris smiling into his skin.

* * *

><p>Darren woke up in a cold sweat and to an empty bed. He didn't know what had woken him but he automatically reached out, seeking Chris' comfort only to find cold sheets. He sat up quickly, glancing around the room. He saw the note.<p>

He knew the panic rising in his chest was stupid. This wasn't like those other times. They have been together nearly three months; Chris wouldn't just leave a note, even if he had changed his mind. _But he does that, _a more foreboding thought said_. He runs. _

Darren snatched up the note and almost laughed in relief.

_Hey sleepy head_

_I examined the breakfast situation and you have exactly zero to eat in your cupboards so I've gone out to out to get us some. Coffee in the pot if you wake up before I get back. _

_Love you!_

_C xx_

Darren wandered into the kitchen to find Chris was already back, unpacking some grocery bags. He wrapped his arms around Chris' waist from behind and pressed a kiss to his neck.

Things weren't perfect.

Darren still doubted Chris sometimes and Chris still got scared and insecure. Darren still got possessive whenever he saw Chris with another guy. Although he was starting to think that Chris was doing it on purpose because now when he got jealous he had full reign to stake his claim and the sex afterwards, often hard and against the nearest flat surface, was always excellent.

They still argued from time to time, getting furious over silly things. But they came back to each other, always fought for one another, and always found a compromise. And they both tried, just like they had promised.

So it wasn't perfect. But, Darren thought as Chris turned in his arms to accept his drowsy good morning kisses, who needed perfection when you had this?


End file.
